I just finished a phone conversation with a girlfriend of mine. She has been single for about as long as I have and just had her 3rd date with a guy she met at the office. Now my girlfriend is pretty much into the “chunky” kinda guy. She likes a full bodied guy and as she tells me: this guy is. My girlfriend just called me to tell me about the date and to pick a date to get together so I can meet him, as she thinks it is really going somewhere…
As many girlfriends do, we tell eachother everything into full detail (yes, also when visiting the bathroom in a public place or sitting in public transport, makes no difference to us). Usually that is no problem. Besides, I have as much shit to tell her as she has to tell me (although my dating story files are wearing extreeemely thin lately).
This time though… I could have done without some of the details… She started telling me about the two of them getting a bit heated up when he took her home and came up for “coffee”… [fine so far]… they ended up on her couch [ok, that is where I sit when I come to visit, but ok, I'll just be in denial about that part next time I come 'round]… hands all over several of eachothers body parts [still fine, I can still vaguely remember what that is like] … feeling up his chest and finding out about his pretty huge man-boobs… She tells me she cupped her hands around them and they were more than a “handful” according to her… Bigger than her own…
OK – STOP! – RIGHT! – THERE!
I can’t tell you in how many ways that is disturbing to me….
* I don’t want to hear ANY story about man boobs – full stop
* I don’t want to visualize her hands cupping man boobs
* I don’t want to hear one of my best friends tell me that it “wasn’t that bad” and she reconsidered her opinion on man-boobs because “he is such a nice guy”
* I bet ya before I can even say the word “boobjob” I will be hearing her boasting about her personal record: undoing his bra in 0.3 sec! (or worse, them having a contest who can undo whose bra the quickest)
* I am supposed to have dinner with them next week… [what if she's making duck breast?]. HOW the fuck can I look at him and NOT think of what she said all the time…
That is just way too much information about her new guy… Ugh… Eeeewwwwww… I think there is a tiny stream of blood running out of my ear… Is that bad?
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If she likes the man-boobs, could she be a lesbian in denial? Man boobs are just wrong.
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You don’t appreciate a nice rack? :)
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Please lets be sensitive to this man’s plight. “Manboobs” is so derogatory and mean.
Henceforth they shall be known as “mannary glands.”
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Leave: Yes, they should leave the boob and cleavage stuff to us women, please…
Fab: Do you?
Schad: Mannary glands… thanks… I’ll try to remember that, lol
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Oy. That’s all I have to say to manboobs. Or maybe I meant “ew”.
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Try using the words boob and breast excessively that night. Also refer to the Seinfeld episode w/the mansiere.
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Look at it this way—it could be worse.
He could have a third nipple as well. ;-)
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Oooh, I forgot to add…
If they end up getting married, those mannary glands could come in handy:
http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/miscarticles/milkmen.html
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Blair: I hear ya!
Marty: Yeah that will surely spice up the evening. I might give that a try.
Attila: Ewwwwww… and DOUBLE Ewwwwwww!!!! LOL
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