The Dutch Files

Me: Can you please turn down the volume of the TV?
Son: Hhhmmm, yes
* TV still blaring *
Me: Turn down the volume of the TV, please
Son: Yeheees
* TV continues blaring *
Me: I have asked you twice now, look at me while I am talking to you: turn down the volume of the TV or I will turn it off in all!
Son: Yeheeeeeeeeeeeessss * rolling eyes *
* TV continues blaring *
* walking over to TV and shutting it off *
Son: HEEE!! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR, YOU ARE STUPID!
Me: ‘Scuse me? Didn’t I just tell you 3 times to turn down the volume?
Son: I never noticed you saying that
Me: Well I did and you even replied. Serves you right for replying to something you did not really listen to.
* shrug - exit towards his room*

- Conversation 2 -
Just before taking him to school this morning:
Me: I put your Gameboy, your games and your WorldCup sticker book in your bag, honey, so you can play with them after school at daycare until I come to pick you up
Son: OK, thank you, Mum
* finishing my last chores before leaving *
Son: Muuuuuuuuuuummmm!!! WHERE IS MY GAMEBOY AND MY WORLDCUP BOOK!!!
Me: Didn’t I just tell you a second ago, that I put them in your bag already?
Son: No
Me: Yes, I did. You even thanked me for it
Son: I didn’t
Me: You did and the stuff is in your bag
Son: But it isn’t!
Me: Did you check?
Son: Uhm..
Me: Check and let me know if it’s in there
* walks away - silence *
Me: Hooooooon? Was it in there?
Son: yes
Me: OK, great isn’t it? Having a Mum like that?
Son: Hmmmmm

- Conversation 3 -
Around bedtime - son in shower
Me: Hon, I have put your PJ’s over the radiator, can you get out of the shower now, dry off and put them on?
Son: Yes
* water running and running and running *
Me: Hon? Are you out of the shower yet?
Son: Yes, and I am drying off now
Me: Why is the water still running?
Son: Because you didn’t turn the tap off yet
Me: ‘Scuse me? Was it YOU or ME in the shower just now?
* rolling his eyes - turning off tap *
Son: Moooooooooooooooooooooom! WHERE ARE MY PJ’S!!!
Me: Where I just told you they were, on the radiator
Son: I don’t see them
Me: Turn around, they’re right behind you. I just told you when you were in the shower
Son: You didn’t!
Me: I did, now get a move on!

- Conversation 4 -
Son playing his Gamecube and totally into the game
Me: Do you want a sweet or some crisps?
Son: Yesssss!!!
* getting up immediately and speeding towards the kitchen in hundreds of seconds *

Geezz! It is in the genes I think, the Mars thing… From an early age… From birth most probably… Good thing though I am not totally going “out of practise” this way…