Jun 17

* Contest Alert *

Published by DutchBitch at 1:06 pm under Uncategorized

So… Hold on to your seats!!!
(or whatever you are sitting, standing or laying on while reading this post)
I decided on a contest on some “Dutchy general knowledge”…

I have featured 10 Dutch words below and I am challenging you to think of what those words could mean, or what you feel they mean to you.

One important rule:
you are not allowed to look it up in any dictionary or use any translation assistance from anywhere or anyone!
So there can be no contacting Sherlock H. - Inspector G. - Sergeant Joe F. - Jessica F. or Mystery Inc. or whoever
It will not be tolerated and there WILL be a penalty


Just (try to) read the words and go with the flow… Who-ever comes up with the funniest descriptions, wins the contest!

At the end of your submission also list
your favourite word out of the 10 listed and if you are the winner that will be your prize!!!
(Hell, I might even throw in some other Dutch goodies)

Neuspulk

Salmiakknots

Hutspot

Knakworst

Pindakaas

Melkmeisje

Vuurtoren

Wattenstaafje

Ganzenbord

Onderbroek

Obviously my Dutch friends are banned from the contest ;-)
So put on your thinking caps and have a go. Don’t let me down, you guys!
Leave your submission in the comments section or email it to me.
- Contest deadline: Friday June 23, midnight -

P.S. if this is all too difficult and strenuous for you, click here
for something to keep you occupied while waiting for contest to finish…

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16 Dutch Treats to “* Contest Alert *”

  1. on 17 Jun 2006 at 3:07 pm

    Wow. I’ve got a headache after trying this. Here’s what I came up with:

    Salmiakknots - sweet pastry

    Neuspulk - newspaper

    Hutspot - kettle

    Knakworst - a bad snack

    Pindakaas - pinch in the ass

    Melkmeisje - milk jug

    Vuurtoren - medicine

    Wattenstaafje - waffles

    Ganzenbord - game board

    Onderbroek - wonderbra

    Sounds like a feast! My fav word is the first one on the list. It seems so complicated.

  2. on 18 Jun 2006 at 1:16 am

    Salmiaknots–The kind of knots you must use when tying up Salma Hayek.

    Neuspulk–Dutch for “new puke”. As in “Did he throw up some more of that beef stew?” “No, that’s new puke. I think it’s mostly corn chips”

    Hutspot–The Dutch version of the G spot

    Knakworst–The knak that finishes last in the competition

    Pindakaas–A stew containing delicious panda meat

    Melkmeisje–A ‘milk miser”; someone who buys up all the milk and won’t share with anyone

    Vuutoren–When you really give it to someone. “Boy, he vuutoren that guy a new asshole!”

    Wattenstaafje–a scrumptious daquiri drink made from rum and tulips

    Gazenbord–what you are when you are so sick and tired of Gazen that you can’t stand it anymore.

    Onderbroek–what happens when you abuse your Onder to the point where it no longer functions.

    My favorite word is Pindakaas. I love panda meat :)

  3. on 18 Jun 2006 at 3:45 am

    Neuspulk (sounds like “News Puke) A definition for when there is nothing on the nightly news but terrible things.

    Salmiakknots (Salami Knots?) A new italian treat to be served on Christmas in lieu of the old fashioned Garlic Knots.

    Hutspot - The hottest place to party in your town will be known as the “Hutspot”.

    Knakworst - A very unpleasant snack. A great word for those of you who did not like the Salmiakknots.

    Pindakaas - A childrens game, similar to Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

    Melkmeisje - Something you do to a cow when they are unable to nurse their calfs. You then have to melkmeisje yourself manually.

    Vuurtoren - The phrase for when you are so drunk you can barely see straight.

    Wattenstaafje - This is the phrase that a doctor will exclaim when you have a really nasty infection. As in “MY OH MY! Wattenstaafje a terrible infection you have here!”

    Ganzenbord - Similar to the American OUIJA board, only it doesn’t contact the dead. It summons all the local lemurs and llamas and moutain goats. If you end up having too many of them show up, you can always feed them the leftover knakworst.

    Onderbroek - A phrase for when you cannot pay for something. “Damn, honey, would you pay for dinner tonight? Apparently onderbroek.”
    It was also used as the original Dutch title for the movie “Brokeback Mountain”, but was scrapped at the last minute.

    CP.

  4. on 18 Jun 2006 at 4:24 am

    I’m still wiping away the tears of laughter from reading Mr. Fab’s definitions!

    I’ll have to try this later.

    But you already have several good ones!

  5. on 18 Jun 2006 at 4:30 am

    I never had Dutch reading, but I am surprised at how many words I do know.

    I probably shouldn’t play. Or maybe in few days. I know I would get some wrong, but not hutspot, pindakaas, or onderbroek.

  6. on 18 Jun 2006 at 4:34 am

    I emailed you my answers instead. :) I just realized I didn’t email from my blog account, though, but that is ok. I just check the blog account the most.

  7. on 18 Jun 2006 at 5:27 am

    Karl sent me. I’ll give it a whirl.

    Neuspulk: Lizard semen.

    Salmiakknots: Braided fish

    Hutspot: Place to build a yurt.

    Knakworst: My grandmother used this in a boild dinner dish called Busco or something like that–I think it’s a type of sausage.

    Pindakaas: Dutch relative of the Panda.

    Melkmeisje: Spilled milk.

    Vuurtoren: Dutch Viagra

    Wattenstaafje: Envy. Means “I want your stuff.”

    Ganzenbord: Marijuana for the idle.

    Onderbroek: A stream off in the distance. (the Y is obviously silent).

  8. on 18 Jun 2006 at 10:33 am

    Mr Fab entered the contest as I suspected he would! We’re doomed! There goes my sweet pastry.

  9. on 18 Jun 2006 at 12:39 pm

    Salmiakknots- Don Knotts’ daughter (bet she’s a looker)

    Neuspulk- opposite of Old Spulk

    Hutspot- fast food restaurant chain in Holland

    Knakworst- title of Greatest hits CD of the Knack

    Pindakaas- asshole

    Melkmeisje- Woman w/big breasts

    Vuurtoren- What tourists do

    Wattenstaafje- What the fuck?

    Ganzenbord- the whole thing

    Onderbroek- underwear

    fav word salmiakknots, prob because it’s first on the list and I’m not awfully bright.

  10. on 18 Jun 2006 at 11:16 pm

    Salmiakknots - cock ring
    Neuspulk - condom
    Hutspot - clit
    Knakworst - kielbasa
    Pindakaas - breasts
    Melkmeisje - lubricant
    Vuurtoren - dildo
    Wattenstaafje - vibrator
    Ganzenbord - penis
    Onderbroek - fellatio

    What can I say? My mind is in the gutter today. :)

  11. on 19 Jun 2006 at 3:46 pm

    Right, here goes.

    Neuspulk - Fresh milk, as opposed to the oldspulk.

    Salmiakknots - these are the traditional pink and red bows that people staple to a fish before placing it on the dinner table.

    Hutspot - this is a slang term for a woman’s genitals.

    Knakworst - a specialty sausage made from the tail end of eels.

    Pindakaas - a healing ointment made from bear intestines, duck eggs, and used coffee grounds.

    Melkmeisje - A handheld mirror used to aid in the tweezing of a woman’s armpit hair.

    Vuurtoren - Voldemort’s goody-two-shoes brother in the Harry Potter series. He’s the one that’s always baking fresh cookies.

    Wattenstaafje - these are the walking sticks used by the ancient Dutch tribes at the mouth of the Schelde river.

    Ganzenbord - these are snacks eaten by all of the stoned hash smokers in the Netherlands.

    Onderbroek - pygmy boats that sail slowly along the canals in Amsterdam.

  12. on 19 Jun 2006 at 3:55 pm

    Oh, and my favorite word is Melkmeisje

  13. on 19 Jun 2006 at 5:37 pm

    I, too, came over from Karl’s site.

    Neuspulk - a derogatory term slung by townies at the yuppies that slowly invade their town.

    Salmiakknots - bondage games played with a certain lovely Latina actress.

    Hutspot - wifi spots in the Australian outback.

    Knakworst - not quite as good as “knakbetter”.

    Pindakaas - sticking a needle in Dak’s… well, you get it.

    Melkmeisje - a man with nipples that can be milked.

    Vuurtoren - refers to an injury that occurs to Dutch athletes. Can be any number of torn or strained bodyparts.

    Wattenstaafje - a long, hard tool offered up when someone tells another person to “stick it up your arse” thus facilitating the process.

    Ganzenbord - a sign hanging in the window of an armed Texan’s car right next to “Baby on Board”.

    Onderbroek - people who are even worse off than just being broke.

  14. on 21 Jun 2006 at 7:20 am

    Wow these have me baffled but i will give it a go

    Neuspulk– sneeze (as in nose plunk-lol)

    Salmiakknots — biscut or roll.. knots make me think of biscuts

    Hutspot– bar..looks simialar to hot spot and hotspots are usually bars

    Knakworst– sandwich meat. Kinda like our liverworst

    Pindakaas– this one almost sounds as my dad puts it hoity toity kinda in a snot nose stuck up way so maybe the dutch equivalent

    Melkmeisje–i am gonna go as a long shot and say something you drink

    Vuurtoren—child birth vuu (view) toren- tore why not

    Wattenstaafje— dutch equivelent to wtf

    Ganzenbord– binoculars gazen bored gaze cause your bored

    Onderbroek- shopping..

    Ok i have no clue but there is my not spelling well at 2am long shot -lol

  15. on 21 Jun 2006 at 1:53 pm

    Woo, it was hard to get here. Did you know that the archive page doesn’t have a link to comment? I couldn’t find it anyway. Luckily this page was still on the main page!

    Neuspulk - Dutch equivalent of “ixnay on the ____ay”.

    Salmiakknots - the speed of the wind that comes from a certain aunt on The Simpsons.

    Hutspot - the spot in a game of gridiron just before they throw the ball… 1.2.3. Hut!

    Knakworst - Dutch equivalent to the Bratwurst, German sausage.

    Pindakaas - a tribe of girl scouts.

    Melkmeisje - mothers’ milk

    Vuurtoren - warts

    Wattenstaafje - promiscuous bar maids (wanton staff)

    Ganzenbord - jetty into a small lake

    Onderbroek - the result of sitting down too hard and suddenly, or possibly slipping over.

    My favourite is Gazenbord but I don’t know how on earth you would ship a jetty over a lake here, unless it were a photo ;)

  16. on 23 Jun 2006 at 4:27 pm

    Salmiakknots - God Bless You

    Neuspulk - What I’d like to do to my ex sometimes

    Hutspot - the spot on your back you can’t reach when you have an itch

    Knakworst - A really bad song from the band “The Knack”

    Pindakaas - a pain in the ass

    Melkmeisje - What you do to a cow

    Vuurtoren - the sound pants make when you bend over and they rip up the seam

    Wattenstaafje - an exclamation usually used when you accidentally sit in a spot where someone’s peed.

    I like Pindakaas.

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