Jul
31
2006
As a special service to my most loyal blog readers I give you the
“Ready To Use -I’m Sorry- Letter”
Please feel free to use it to your advantage. There is no reason to be ashamed. Everyone of us has had to resort to similar methods every now in then in their lifes, right?
This service is totally free of charge! That’s what a nice person I am!
Good Luck!!!
* * *
Dear [insert addressee name]
Believe me, I really did not slam into your car / cheat on you / step on your cat / sleep with you and infect you with an STD* on purpose.
Let’s be honest. How was I supposed to know that my breaks would give out / that babe could lure me away so easily / that cat would jump ríght under my shoes / the condom would rip*?
How can I make it up to you? Would you like me to take you out to dinner / pay for the damages / refund your doctor’s bill / bribe the vet / disappear out of your life*?
Or would you rather I provide you with money / a wedding ring / a new pet / an ointment to treat the itching*?
Please let me know how I can make it up to you. You can call / email / fax / casually address / summon* me. Whichever suits you best.
Kind regards,
[insert your name here]
* = circle whichever applies to situation
[Disclaimer: DutchBitch is not responsible for any negative consequences as a result of use of the above letter. However, abundant reward for any positive consequences is required allowed. Follow-Up / After Care is not provided by DutchBitch]
Jul
31
2006
He’s back… My snuggly honey bun baby is back!!!
My softie motherheart skipped (a few) beat(s) when I heard my son’s voice outside. His dad brought him over just little over 2 hours ago and my motherheart is on fire right now…
I smothered him with hugs and kisses which were fully reciprocated by hugs and kisses from him and endless “I love you” and “I have missed you so much” from both of us, latching on to eachother…
So? Am I making you puke already with this sloppy stuff? Apologies, just had to get it out of my system!!! If anyone even 10 years ago would have told me that I would be like this with my child, I would have called them crazy MF’s…
I asked him what should we do on our first day of vacation together and I was open to mostly any suggestion. He decided he “wants to stay in and cuddle up to me and hug me and just be with me”… so that’s what we are doing today…
Right now he’s playing his Soccer Worldcup 2006 Computer Game… and he is trying to sucker me out of the StiK TShirt… (Shit, I knéw that was gonna happen, I forgot to put it away before he arrived)
All Is Good In Da House… (for now, until he cheats me out of the TShirt)
* * *
P.S. don’t forget to visit * Pixie *. You should feel for her, being in the tenant room right after the Useless Men were there…
Jul
30
2006
Should I be worried at all that something is rattling in my cell phone when I shake it?
I am not sure why it felt like a good idea in the first place to start shaking it, but that is when I first noticed something rattling in there… It is just a slight rattle, but it’s there. I checked again this morning, whether it had magically disappeared overnight… It hadn’t…
I think my cell phone has a screw loose… and that would not surprise me at all, as it has been giving me grief for weeks now… The keyboard is not working properly. Me being a total txt message addict, you can imagine it is driving me nuts…
I don’t want to have to buy a new phone. I just want to wait until it’s time to renew my cell phone provider subscription and I can get one for “free”! But then, that is still over 8 months away… I guess I’ll have to hang on until then. That is pretty hard for a gadget freak… Well, at least I have not lost my Bluetooth earpiece unlike some people… and thát is still working for now…
Jul
29
2006
I was in The Hague today to get my hair cut. I was a tad bit early so I occupied my time with walking around the city center shopping for a while (I restrained myself, really, I did)…
Just before walking to the hairdressers I encountered a (pretty gorgeous) cyclist coming my way… He looked at me… then in passing, still on his bycicle, he bent down and and whispered in my ear “WOW!”…
I am not really used to that kinda thing. After being overweight for over 16 years the “new bod” and male attention still kinda have to grow on me. I was so baffled that by the time I snapped out of it, I turned around and looked back, he was already gone…
I must say: that was a first for me. Experiencing a genuine Cyclist Pick Up Line… I guess that is what you get for Holland being a Cycling Nation, hahahahaha!
