The Dutch Files

I am not the kind of person to look at the clock all day… Mostly because I am usually far to busy to do so…

Not sure why… I go through the day… Working… Doing my stuff… Probably peek at a clock a few times a day, but not really consciously…

Only time I -for some reason- consciously look at a clock is usually in the evening, at home…

I have found that about 95% of the time that I will look at the clock, because I actually consciously wonder what time it is, it is EXACTLY 22:22…

(we use a 24 hour time notation as opposed to the AM/PM system most of you guys use)

Funnily enough the number “2″ -for no particular reason- has always been my favorite number…

Should I be worried about it? Anybody any idea what that means? Just asking…

OK, we have “lift off”!

A new era in TP use has begun!

Countdown has started..!

We have now commenced use of the Vermin Ultra (or was it Charmin Ultra? I forget…) TP roll!

Just thought I’d mention it…

I’ll let you know how we get on… Marty’s talk about his current rash a.k.a. jock itch has got me kinda worried… I mean… The TP roll didn’t come with a complimentary aerosol spray of Cruex, but still…!

Ex… FUCKING… Cuse Me!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

My celebrity-lookalikes are Brendan Fraser and Kingsley Amis!?!?!?!?!?!

I couldn’t believe it, so I had to try a different picture…

OMFG! Gao Xingjian and Consuelo Velazquez?!?!?!?!… What is THAT!?
I know I am not a supermodel, but WTF!

STFU… That’s IT! I am never getting out of the house A-GAIN!

I have decided to start the IMBDA (International Movement to Ban Denture Abuse)… or something like that, which would have a catchier acronym…

In the elevator, on my way up to the 9th floor of the medical center, I often encounter people on their way to the outpatient clinic of Geriatrics… Pretty old people mostly… I have nothing against old people… Nothing at all…

But WTF is that about (mostly old) people with dentures, who feel they have to move around their dentures in public… The elevator is crowded, ya hear a funny kinda sucking sound… Turn your head, look at the person next to you, and you can see them sliding their dentures in and out of their mouth… threads of seliva coming with that… giving you a wonderful look at their gums in the process…

Hey!!! Hel-lo! I CAN SEE YOU DOING THAT!!!

Now I know sommaya gonna say that I coúld look away… That nobody is forcing me to look at that display of disgust… Lemmetellya! There is NO way you can look away and pretent you did not just witness that, once it’s caught your attention…

So Puh-lease, folks, if you need to do that with your dentures, do it in the privacy of your own homes… I have no desire to see dentures darting in and out of someones mouth…

Is it me??? That’s just groce, right???