The Dutch Files

Wooohoooo!!! I’ve been trying so hard, getting one freaky post after another out in the blogosphere, and today it all paid off… MC has found it in his heart to bestow the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award upon me. It must have been a slow Transmundanity week I can’t tell you how honored I am! * snort *

trans·mun·dane (tr?ns’m?n-d?n’, tr?nz’-, tr?ns-m?n’d?n’, tr?nz-) pronunciation
adj. - Existing or extending beyond the physical world.

Now that I’ve reached my goal and have been added to the Transmundane Hall of Fame, I can throw off my freaky DutchBitch mask and finally reveal my decent, cute, fluffy Dutchgirly self! There will be no more sarcastic remarks, no more freaky facts, no more sex, pot & rock ‘n roll, no more dominatrix behavior… I can finally come out of the closet and turn this into a full blow housewife/mommy/cutiepie blog… I think I’ll go for a pink, cuddly template with tiny teddybears and pretty flowers and some comfy bunny houseslippers to replace the red latex stiletto boots…

BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA… FAT CHANCE!!!

To speak the immortal words of Mae West:

Ok you guys. I’m taking it slow for the rest of the day… I was up at 6.15 a.m. and have been getting all wet and cold at the soccer field while watching The Kid’s team getting whipped a nasty 12-1.

Don’t forget about the Pimp My Bathroom Contest. There’s only 1 week left to get your entries in! I’m still hoping to get some more in. I know there are still a few among you who are dying to enter, there must be!

Deadline: Friday December 1, 2006

So WTF is that? Those Time Warps you sometimes get caught up in, in the middle of the night?

Scene: DutchBitch bedroom - DutchBitch waking up from raunchy dream deep deep sleep

*plying one eye open… waiting for eye to focus*

Hmm…. 04:30 AM…

Hmmm…. another 2 hours… Hmmm…

*turning over, snuggling up in duvet, drowzing off for what feels like a just few minutes*

… . …. . …. . ……….. . … . … . .. .

*waking up again, again plying eye open, trying to focus*

Hmm… 06:29 AM…

*brain processing data*

06:29 AM..? 06:29 AM..? WHAAATTTTT!!!!!

*alarm clock beeping*

WTF! It was just 04:30 AM a few minutes ago!!!!

WTF!!! WTF!!! I mean: in the event that I wake up, look at the alarm clock, and find out I have 2 more heavenly hours to go before I have to get up, and drowze off again… I WANT THOSE 2 HOURS TO FEEL LIKE 2 HOURS!!! I don’t want to get caught in some Time Warp! And why don’t Time Warps happen in the office, because they n.e.v.e.r happen to me over there…

Fuck!

Crap!

OK… Dutch politics have really gone mad now!

Some weeks ago the Dutch Public TV Network announced they would be cancelling one of their most popular and longest running game shows, called “Lingo”. Their reason for cancelling it was that the game show was drawing the wrong kinda crowd to the network: the majority of the people watching it is apparently aged 55+… They would be replacing the game show with a “younger” program…

It unleashed a shitload of anger over here in Dutchyland… Though I agree with many people that considering “older people” the “wrong kinda crowd” is a bad thing… and that “the young crowd” has plenty of programming available… there are limits to how far to take your protests… I mean: there were questions asked about this in Dutch Parliament!!! Other issues at hand -like whether to send more troops to UN missions, the health care system reform, terrorism issues, immigration issues, our economy going down the drain, and such- were set aside to have endless meetings on whether the public network should be forced to keep “Lingo” in their programming…

I mean: WTF! Don’t they have bigger issues to handle? Is that why we elected you morons and are paying shitloads of taxes? Don’t they have better things to do then argue about a fucking gameshow? Crappers! All of them!

Sorry about that… I’ll be outside, blowing off some steam…