The Dutch Files

This commercial was awarded the “Best 2006 TV commercial” award in Dutchyland:
The Gouden Loekie.

Enjoy!
Laugh!
Um… I mean… Feel his pain…

It being Christmas Day seems like the perfect opportunity to introduce you to my new tenants:

Jen, Amanda and Holly, a.k.a. The Lost Girls, embarked on a 35,000 mile journey across the globe on June 20 of this year, to work thru their collective quarter life crisis. Their blog keeps us up to date on their adventures, the global hotspots they have visited and the journey that is still ahead…

OMFG! Travelling the globe to work thru a mid-20’s quarter life crisis? What the hell is a mid - going - on - end - thirty - working - her - way - to - a - midlife - crisis - single - Mommy to do? I am at a loss… I guess I’ll just call myself an “At A Loss Girl” and muddle my way thru like that… Anyone joining me on my quest across the globe at Starbucks for a muffin binge and snorting out coffee thru our noses laughing at midlife crisis men?

Anyway… R.E.S.P.E.C.T. to The Lost Girls for embarking on their quest and sharing it with the world on their blog. And… um… OK… I have forgiven them for not having been anywhere near Dutchyland… yet… But obviously they need to incorporate it in their trip at some point to make their journey complete… *snort*

In the spirit of Christmas please go over to the RentMyBlog thumbnail in the sidebar and give The Lost Girls some Christmas TLC. It seems they are spending Christmas at an Indian Yoga Academy (where they are apparently held hostage by a hot Indian security guard)… So that´s what Indians call ” Yoga Academy”… right… O… K…. I guess…

My dominatrix whip is on Christmas break, but you are all smart enough to realize that that ob.vi.ous.ly does not mean you aren’t expected back here in a jiffy! A Christmas jiffy!

This is a serious ass news story! I feel for the children that had to witness this and the people “Santa” left behind! Santa, I salute you… I guess this means Christmas is cancelled…

Santa dies at children’s party
Dec 22.2006 - Dundee, UK Children watched in horror as a Santa Claus collapsed and died as he handed out presents at a Christmas party on Sunday. Andrew Robertson was taken ill as the excited youngsters received their gifts. The 82-year-old was taken to a side room and attempts made to revive him, but he was pronounced dead when medics arrived. Mr Robertson, from Dundee, had played Santa at the city’s Broughty Castle bowling club Christmas party, held for the grandchildren of members, for several years. “Andy was a father figure in the club who never had a bad word to say about anyone,” Ian Smart, the bowling club’s secretary, said. “If you asked him to do anything for you, he would always say ‘no problem’. “One wee kid said ‘how are we going to get our presents next week if Father Christmas is ill?’ - they didn’t understand what had happened.” Mr Smart said Mr Robertson, who had played an active role in the club, was “well liked and will be sorely missed”. Mr Robertson’s brother, Alister, said he had complained about feeling hot shortly before collapsing. “The kids saw him getting taken away,” he told the Courier newspaper. “They knew something was wrong with Santa Claus as he went away with the two guys, but they didn’t see anything further. “It has been quite a shock for everybody, but my view is that he was there thoroughly enjoying himself when he was struck down.”

Over the past few months, one of my best friends has found himself in the middle of the divorce from hell… We have been referring to his soon-to-be-ex-wife as the “mother of all bitches” ever since…

The crap he’s had to take and most probably will encounter in the near future can only be described as “sheer hell”… It has become abundantly clear that she is out to totally emotionally and financially destroy him… Looking back, there is proof that she has in fact been planning her divorce strategy for a long time coming… And if she gets her way, he’ll be left with virtually nothing…

I have respect for the fact that people opt for divorce (afterall I´ve done the same)… And though I think they´re not always right, I can understand some people need to blame the other for e-ve-ry-thing that went wrong… I have however NO respect whatsoever for the fact that some people feel the need to totally emotionally and financially destroy the person they are divorcing… Why not cut your losses, make sure you and your child are taken care of, and start a new life? Let it be! Why all the vengeance? It is beyond me…

He called me the other day to tell me that he finally managed to finalize the first part of the divorce, which is called “the separation of table and bed”. This basically means that anything he does, or acquires or earns from now on will not be part of the upcoming divorce-settlement (he now has to go through court to get the financial settlement and custody settlement finalized, which no doubt is going to be heartbreaking as she is planning to financially bleed him dry and only allow him minimal access to their 6 month old child). He asked me whether I had plans for the evening because he felt like celebrating this first part of the being free of her, and could we do it at my place…

He arrived at my doorstep with… a bottle of champagne…

PINK champagne…

which was a leftover of his wedding festivities that took place little over a year ago…

How good is that..? Celebrating the first part of your divorce with a bottle of pink champagne from your wedding?

I almost peed my pants when he said: “I usually don’t really care for champagne, actually I don’t even like it, but this “Phase I - Being Freed Of The Mother Of All Bitches” bottle… Hmmm… Champagne has never ever tasted this good to me!”

And for the record: there was NO hangover… it was quality champagne… I guess…