The Dutch Files

Jun 29

The Venus-Mars Thing At My Place

- Conversation 1 -

Me: Can you please turn down the volume of the TV?
Son: Hhhmmm, yes
* TV still blaring *
Me: Turn down the volume of the TV, please
Son: Yeheees
* TV continues blaring *
Me: I have asked you twice now, look at me while I am talking to you: turn down the volume of the TV or I will turn it off in all!
Son: Yeheeeeeeeeeeeessss * rolling eyes *
* TV continues blaring *
* walking over to TV and shutting it off *
Son: HEEE!! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR, YOU ARE STUPID!
Me: ‘Scuse me? Didn’t I just tell you 3 times to turn down the volume?
Son: I never noticed you saying that
Me: Well I did and you even replied. Serves you right for replying to something you did not really listen to.
* shrug - exit towards his room*

- Conversation 2 -
Just before taking him to school this morning:
Me: I put your Gameboy, your games and your WorldCup sticker book in your bag, honey, so you can play with them after school at daycare until I come to pick you up
Son: OK, thank you, Mum
* finishing my last chores before leaving *
Son: Muuuuuuuuuuummmm!!! WHERE IS MY GAMEBOY AND MY WORLDCUP BOOK!!!
Me: Didn’t I just tell you a second ago, that I put them in your bag already?
Son: No
Me: Yes, I did. You even thanked me for it
Son: I didn’t
Me: You did and the stuff is in your bag
Son: But it isn’t!
Me: Did you check?
Son: Uhm..
Me: Check and let me know if it’s in there
* walks away - silence *
Me: Hooooooon? Was it in there?
Son: yes
Me: OK, great isn’t it? Having a Mum like that?
Son: Hmmmmm

- Conversation 3 -
Around bedtime - son in shower
Me: Hon, I have put your PJ’s over the radiator, can you get out of the shower now, dry off and put them on?
Son: Yes
* water running and running and running *
Me: Hon? Are you out of the shower yet?
Son: Yes, and I am drying off now
Me: Why is the water still running?
Son: Because you didn’t turn the tap off yet
Me: ‘Scuse me? Was it YOU or ME in the shower just now?
* rolling his eyes - turning off tap *
Son: Moooooooooooooooooooooom! WHERE ARE MY PJ’S!!!
Me: Where I just told you they were, on the radiator
Son: I don’t see them
Me: Turn around, they’re right behind you. I just told you when you were in the shower
Son: You didn’t!
Me: I did, now get a move on!

- Conversation 4 -
Son playing his Gamecube and totally into the game
Me: Do you want a sweet or some crisps?
Son: Yesssss!!!
* getting up immediately and speeding towards the kitchen in hundreds of seconds *

Geezz! It is in the genes I think, the Mars thing… From an early age… From birth most probably… Good thing though I am not totally going “out of practise” this way…

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16 Dutch Treats to “The Venus-Mars Thing At My Place”

1. on 29 Jun 2006 at 10:37 am

   I don’t have the patience for this sort of thing which is why I probably won’t ever have kids. Oh and if my kid called me stupid I don’t think I would have been so nice.

2. on 29 Jun 2006 at 10:48 am

   Leave: I wasn’t that nice actually… I just left out the “heavy” stuff, lol

3. on 29 Jun 2006 at 2:40 pm

   Hahahaha! I know exactly what you’re talking about!

   You can tell them a hundred times to their face to pick something up/clean something up/stop doing something, and they never hear you.

   Open up a soda can in the darkest corner in the basement and they will hear you from their upstairs bedrooms and race down to see if they “can have one too!”

4. on 29 Jun 2006 at 4:08 pm

   sounds like a mixture of Attention Deficit Disorder and selective hearing. I should know because I suffer from both myself! lol!

5. on 29 Jun 2006 at 4:59 pm

   Yup, he’s a man. Definitely a man. my 40something year old boy too answers on remarks he has never heard…

   I sympathize with you (but he’s cute though. Your son I mean)

6. on 29 Jun 2006 at 7:53 pm

   Sounds like a perfectly normal male to me. You have nothing to worry about.

7. on 29 Jun 2006 at 8:37 pm

   Attila: Yes, so right, LOL

   Miztriz: You? OMG!

   BertyMo: He IS cute… that’s true

   Nobody: Phew… My mind is at ease now

8. on 30 Jun 2006 at 2:28 am

   I am SO with Leave. Kids bad. Peace and quiet good.

9. on 30 Jun 2006 at 3:24 am

   Sorry…did you say something?

10. on 30 Jun 2006 at 12:17 pm

    LOL! I am so glad I am not the only one who has conversations like this with their kids! I start to doubt my own sanity somtimes when they do things like that!

11. on 30 Jun 2006 at 12:54 pm

    Wow, how old is he? Its funny. Almost(ok it is funny since its not happening here. Yet).

12. on 01 Jul 2006 at 6:33 am

    Are we related? My dad has selective hearing. It sounds like the same symptoms.

13. on 01 Jul 2006 at 4:48 pm

    Hmmm, selective hearing, Swiss-cheese memory, and a recounting of past events that isn’t even close to reality…is your son a Republican???

14. on 01 Jul 2006 at 4:51 pm

    I have three daughters as well as two boys, and they exhibit exactly the characteristics as your boy - I don’t think it’s a male/female thing.

    And word of warning - this syndrome gets many time worse when they’re teenagers. Enjoy only being partially tuned out now - you’ll be totally ignored in a few years.

15. on 02 Jul 2006 at 1:46 am

    my husband has selective hearing….he denies it of course.

16. on 02 Jul 2006 at 9:45 am

    Fab: But they give you so much joy as well… I think…

    Karl: I did, but if you did not what I just offered you, that’s your loss ;-)

    Kattbanjo: I think we are the sanest people around… really

    Carmachu: He’s 8, going on 9

    Lynda: I think it is a genetic thing

    Schad: Uhm… Not sure… Never wondered before… thanks! Another worry on my mind!

    Nanuk: Hmmm… I can’t wait… Especially as by that time he’ll be most likely taller than me and I would have to stand my ground with him looking down at me…

    Pissy: Of course, as they deny having any bad habits in all…

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