The Dutch Files

In the car, on our way to school, this morning…

TheKid: “Mom… how many shots or vaccinations do I still have to have?”
DutchBitch: “I’m not sure, Hon. I’d have to check. Maybe 1 or 2 in a few years“
TK: “So how many exactly?”
DB: “I don’t know exactly, I’d have to check… Why are you asking? Did kids in your class recently have to get a vaccination?“
TK: “No, I just wanted to know”
DB: “Oh, ok… Well, again, I’d have to check. But evenso, there will be other occassions in your life that you might need a shot for anaesthesia or drawing blood. So there’s no use in keeping tabs on that. I know it’s no fun, but it’s just something you have to do every once in a while“
TK: “I still don’t like it”
DB: “I know, Hon, neither do I. But usually you have forgotten all about it pretty soon. And there are worse things in life, right?“
TK: “Yeah, like your GameBoy suddenly shutting down just when you are winning an battle on Pokémon Emerald! Pfffttt!” *snort*
DB: “Yeah, see, much worse…“

I’m glad we’ve got things in perspective here…

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There´s a new tenant in town. I saw her swinging from tree to tree over here in Dutchyland over the past week and invited her in… I hope she didn´t bring too much wildlife and that Tarzan guy… Before you know it my neighbours will be complaining about the noise…

So here she is… No further introduction necessary… It´s Jane from Janes Loves Tarzan… Though I´ve known her from the blogosphere for a while now, I´ve never ever seen what she looks like, nor what her Tarzan, whom she dearly loves, looks like, but I´ve always pictured them summin like this… Awwwwwww, don’t they look cute?

Jane is a wonderful woman, with a really great blog on which she keeps us updated about her life with Tarzan and her supercute pot bellied pig “Cheeta”. Not sure why the pig is called “Cheeta” but I guess that’s because she’s a lean mean fighting machine…

So swing yourselves over to Jane’s. She’d love to have you over in her treehouse. Watch out for the lean mean pot bellied pig. She could easily kill you with her cuteness…

Jane: when you’re done with my blogbuddies, can you kick ‘m outta the tree and send ‘m back here? And ehm… I wish chocolate was a vegetable too!

Aaaaaaaaaoooeeeeeaeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! (DutchBitch signing off Tarzan style)

A thank you to the other bidders: Dear Me, From Reason to Freedom, Observing Hermann, Honeycakes, The Evolution of Gina, The Modern Savage, and Great 90s Music!

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Can somebody PLEASE explain to me why ANYONE would be prepared to pay for THIS

as a videoringtone on their mobile phone?

I mean: WHY would you want to? Even just the TV adds for it are driving me nuts! I wouldn’t want this thing anywhere near my mobile phone even if they paid ME for it….

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I was chatting with The Chad -wow! how “right” does that sound!- from World of Chad on My Plugoo Chat -it’s in my sidebar at the hot red lips- yesterday morning. Well, actually it was about 10 a.m. at my end and 1.00 a.m. at his end… I guess you could call that “morning” on both sides in some way…

He had been out on the town with his friends, and was getting ready to go to bed -well, sorta, he called it “drinking and thinking”- and I had just woken up and was getting ready to drive to The Hague for my hairdresser’s appointment. No drinking involved there.

I told him I was considering having my head shaven totally bald, as it seems so carefree and low maintenance… He told me that that is exactly why he shaves his head… Well, he had an additional reason but I don’t feel it is appropriate to disclose that reason over here on my blog… I’ll leave that to your own imagination…

He dared me to post a picture on my blog after my hairdresser’s appointment. I am not one to chicken out of a dare like that, so here it is!

So… what do you think? Does it suit me? Is it me? Is it DutchBitch style? Can I get away with it? I mean, I look fucking hot as a bald chick!!! Don’t I?!! Hmmm… *humming* “nothing compares… no-thing compares to yououououououou!“

*snapping out of it* Oh, sorry ’bout that… you still here?

Well, actually, to be honest, I never got to the hairdresser to begin with… I got stuck in traffic at noon for over 2 hours… because of a huge accident… there was an enormous miles-long traffic jam and after having moved about 15 inches in the 1st hour, I decided to cancel my appointment in all, spend my energy on trying to get out of the traffic jam at the nearest exit and drive home… which took me another 1,5 hour…

Fucking great way to spend a free Saturday afternoon, right? And only other people on the road were “we’ve been married for 30 years and have sucked the life outta eachother-couples” and “I am God’s Gift to women-guys”… Pffffttttt!!! So I didn’t even manage to get some traffic jam flirting done! I spent the 2 hours talking to one of my girlfriends on the phone and txt-ing “AAAAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!” to virtually everyone in my mobile phone address book…

Ah… the weekend… such fun… so relaxing…

Now if you don’t mind. I gotta try and get in touch with Breigh from CanaDutch and seriously meet up with her. We should smoke some weed, get married to eachother, sell our bodies and buy a McDeath burger from the money we earned. I mean, that IS the Dutch way to spend the weekend, and Breigh has become pretty well adapted to the Dutch lifestyle…

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There’s no way ’round it… Countdown has begun… No escaping it anymore… It’s coming… Thé day is drawing near… Yep! Just one more month before my next birthday… Before adding one more year to the total…

The DutchBitch is turning 37 on February 27th… No biggie… STFU! I can’t help it my Dad just couldn’t keep his dick in his pants in 1969 my Mom had to pop me out in 1970!

Just thought I’d tell you ahead of time… So you can get your asses in gear in plenty of time to get that wonderful unforgettable kick ass birthday gift to me… *snort* Just giving you a head start…

And remember… “Diamonds are a girls best friend”… Just saying…

No need to thank me. Save your efforts for the birthday… that’s ok…

On another note… Just when -while blogsurfing yesterday- I was starting to feel kinda left out… It was there… the email… telling me that Lynda had made me a DutchyMazing poster too!!!

Thanks Lynda! I love it!

Last but not least: Today is your last chance to visit my tenant B’Diva at That Bitchy Chick. It’s her last day in the tenant quarters. She’s been flirting with all my visitors, but that’s ok… I am totally about sharing. If you haven’t visited her yet, please click the thumbnail.

That’s all for today… Ta!

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