The Dutch Files

QUESTION # 569: INVITATION TO ANARCHY

Dear Useless Men,

OK… So I know it’s been done before… I’ve done so for others but I am still gonna jump on the bandwagon…

I will be on holiday July 26 - August 6 and yes… I am looking for bloggers to go out on a limb and do a post on The Dutch Files during that time…

Oh come on! You know you want to hijack this blog and f@&k it up! You do!

Will I have to beg? *cracking dutchbitch whip*

Anyways: I would love to know if you are ready to do this. As far as I am concerned you can write about anything.

If you are up for it, let me know!!!

DutchyHugz,
DutchBitch

—–

Dear DutchBitch,

You want us to post for you? Us? Useless Men? Not only are we unworthy to post on your site, we have no idea what we could possibly write about? I mean, we even censored the swear word in your question…

Hey, it’s YOUR blog, and you asked, so here is a post for you. Just copy and paste THIS answer from our blog to YOUR blog and then we can both be satisfied. No begging.

Begging is unbecoming. Or so I’ve been told whenever I beg for things. Like a Dutchie. I love Dutchies! Do you have Dutchies in that place that you come from? Dutchyland?

Dutchies are delicious. They are these gooey doughnuts, with raisins. RAISINS! As if sugar glazed doughy goodness wasn’t enough, they added RAISINS! If I could add one baking supply to MY blog, it’d be chocolate chips, because more people like chocolate than anything else. But if it wasn’t chocolate chips, it would be sprinkles. They’re colourful and delicious too. Raisins would definitely be third though.

And what is better than the third best baking supplement in a doughnut? I’ll tell you! They make the Dutchie doughnut SQUARE! YES! SQUARE! There is no hole, so no wasted dough, and it is square. You can eat it like a sandwich! In fact, that may be the greatest thing ever… A doughnut sandwich! Slice a dutchie in half, add your favourite sandwich filling, or egg salad, some lettuce, a slice of tomato, a pickle on the side, and VOILA! (Voila is French. French is Canada’s second language. Legally, I have to use both languages when corresponding internationally.) The Dutchie Sandwich, named after the most Dutchilicious Dutchie Dutch that a Useless Man could ever know.

That’s really all I’ll have when you are away. A Dutchie Sandwich. I fill my lonliness with food. So if I gain 12 pounds over the 12 days of your holiday, don’t feel guilty, but know this:

I’m blaming you for my flabby thighs.

Sincerely,
One Useless Man
http://www.dearuselessmen.com/