A funny thing happened on the way to this blog post…..
For the last few weeks, I was convinced that I was supposed to post here on August 6th. However, I knew that I went a day after Avitable so when I saw his post in my FeedDemon last night, I almost peed all over my cat! Sure enough, I had the wrong date seared into my brain so I just took it like a woman and sat down to bang something out (a post, you sickos!). Then, I tried to log in with my super secret nickname and password that was assigned to me by the Dutch Bitch herself, yet that did not work either. What the hell? If I had better prepared, I probably could have figured it out but whatever…toot toot, short bus coming through! Thankfully, Avitable offered up his username and password so I could make sure to get to the party on time! Later on, I tried to log in with HIS password and was still pretty much bent (sans lube). After emailing back and forth with him, I realized that my problem was trying to log in the main page of WordPress instead of the sidebar of the blog. Phew…so thanks a fuck-ton, Avi! Anyway, hi Dutchy lovers! I’m Hilly and I’m your tour guide for today. I figured since Dutchy’s favorite thing about me is the snark, I’d go off on one of my tangents here today…just for her :).
In the last few months, I’ve had two or three people tell me why they’ve stopped frequenting my blog as much as they used to.
“Well Hilly, while I truly love and adore everything about you, it’s just that you’re part of *that element* which I don’t care to expose myself to”.
What the hell element is that? The *Fifth* Element?
“No…how do I put this delicately? Ermmm, it’s your *mouth*.”
My mouth? Hey, I’ve been told that I have sexy lips and I brush twice a day!
“No, no….it’s the fact that you swear like a sailor and it’s very un-ladylike and offensive at times”.
Ohhhhh. Well, it’s truly fucked up that you can’t look past a few fucking cuss words, you snatch-sicle!
I’m well aware that as a bloggette, I put myself out there as a “public figure” therefore opening myself up to stupid comments and conversations about who I am. And while I run my blog like the Good Ship Lollipop, where I am nice and give everyone a chance, there are still some people who feel it is their duty to point out all of my little faults. It floors me that someone can say that they “love and adore everything about you” but then do a smiley stab at your insides with a backhanded comment like that. I’m sorry but if you truly love me like you say, you’re going to be able to get over the word “snatch” now and again. Do you love my guts or my vocabulary? Pffft.
That’s not to say that I don’t recognize how un-ladylike it is for me to use the colorful phrases that I do. I know that I swear more than the average woman, but but but…it’s usually for emphasis or because I think it makes me sound funny. If I said that I swear because I am insecure and need people to laugh with me, would you believe it? Okay, me neither but still…..it’s just part of who I am. When I am frustrated, I like to add “fucking this” and “fucking that” to the things I say just to demonstrate my exact emotions. Is that so wrong? And it’s not like I can’t turn it off when I want to….I freaked out my best buddy Karl at Disneyland one year when I started yelling things like “holy schmoley!” on a ride where we were sitting with kids. And trust me when I say that I don’t go around work telling people that they are worthless coozebags, even when they are! Yep, I can turn it off when I want to…it’s just that I don’t want to when I am in my own element, trying to relax.
Some boys and girls like me just the way I am and can look past the mouth, I fucking suppose. Either that, or they left their judgmental party hats at home and have decided that no one is perfect so why even be so critical? I think that we all have things about us that might not be something that someone else likes. No matter what, though, don’t ever lose who you are because an anonymous reader decides to tell you that the word “cunt” is just too offensive. Maybe it is beyotch….avert your eyes, hit your back button, go away….but just don’t send me an email telling me about it. I think I’d rather use a few choice words here and there and be happy inside rather than being an uptight Nelly whose sole purpose in life is to police the actions of others.
Yanno….cause I’m dainty, like a flower ;).
DutchyBitchySnatchy Kisses,
Hilly
