Aug 02
Frickity Frak, Don’t Talk Back!
A funny thing happened on the way to this blog post…..
For the last few weeks, I was convinced that I was supposed to post here on August 6th. However, I knew that I went a day after Avitable so when I saw his post in my FeedDemon last night, I almost peed all over my cat! Sure enough, I had the wrong date seared into my brain so I just took it like a woman and sat down to bang something out (a post, you sickos!). Then, I tried to log in with my super secret nickname and password that was assigned to me by the Dutch Bitch herself, yet that did not work either. What the hell? If I had better prepared, I probably could have figured it out but whatever…toot toot, short bus coming through! Thankfully, Avitable offered up his username and password so I could make sure to get to the party on time! Later on, I tried to log in with HIS password and was still pretty much bent (sans lube). After emailing back and forth with him, I realized that my problem was trying to log in the main page of WordPress instead of the sidebar of the blog. Phew…so thanks a fuck-ton, Avi! Anyway, hi Dutchy lovers! I’m Hilly and I’m your tour guide for today. I figured since Dutchy’s favorite thing about me is the snark, I’d go off on one of my tangents here today…just for her :).
In the last few months, I’ve had two or three people tell me why they’ve stopped frequenting my blog as much as they used to.
“Well Hilly, while I truly love and adore everything about you, it’s just that you’re part of *that element* which I don’t care to expose myself to”.
What the hell element is that? The *Fifth* Element?
“No…how do I put this delicately? Ermmm, it’s your *mouth*.”
My mouth? Hey, I’ve been told that I have sexy lips and I brush twice a day!
“No, no….it’s the fact that you swear like a sailor and it’s very un-ladylike and offensive at times”.
Ohhhhh. Well, it’s truly fucked up that you can’t look past a few fucking cuss words, you snatch-sicle!
I’m well aware that as a bloggette, I put myself out there as a “public figure” therefore opening myself up to stupid comments and conversations about who I am. And while I run my blog like the Good Ship Lollipop, where I am nice and give everyone a chance, there are still some people who feel it is their duty to point out all of my little faults. It floors me that someone can say that they “love and adore everything about you” but then do a smiley stab at your insides with a backhanded comment like that. I’m sorry but if you truly love me like you say, you’re going to be able to get over the word “snatch” now and again. Do you love my guts or my vocabulary? Pffft.
That’s not to say that I don’t recognize how un-ladylike it is for me to use the colorful phrases that I do. I know that I swear more than the average woman, but but but…it’s usually for emphasis or because I think it makes me sound funny. If I said that I swear because I am insecure and need people to laugh with me, would you believe it? Okay, me neither but still…..it’s just part of who I am. When I am frustrated, I like to add “fucking this” and “fucking that” to the things I say just to demonstrate my exact emotions. Is that so wrong? And it’s not like I can’t turn it off when I want to….I freaked out my best buddy Karl at Disneyland one year when I started yelling things like “holy schmoley!” on a ride where we were sitting with kids. And trust me when I say that I don’t go around work telling people that they are worthless coozebags, even when they are! Yep, I can turn it off when I want to…it’s just that I don’t want to when I am in my own element, trying to relax.
Some boys and girls like me just the way I am and can look past the mouth, I fucking suppose. Either that, or they left their judgmental party hats at home and have decided that no one is perfect so why even be so critical? I think that we all have things about us that might not be something that someone else likes. No matter what, though, don’t ever lose who you are because an anonymous reader decides to tell you that the word “cunt” is just too offensive. Maybe it is beyotch….avert your eyes, hit your back button, go away….but just don’t send me an email telling me about it. I think I’d rather use a few choice words here and there and be happy inside rather than being an uptight Nelly whose sole purpose in life is to police the actions of others.
Yanno….cause I’m dainty, like a flower ;).
DutchyBitchySnatchy Kisses,
Hilly
30 Dutch Treats to “Frickity Frak, Don’t Talk Back!”
You tell ‘em girl!! I’ve been known to throw a few choice words into my vocabulary from time to time too.
Though I try to temper it around the little man, it’s become painfully obvious I’m not tempering it much at all as he’s begun to say exact phrases I’ve spouted in times of, well… just whenever. My favorite recent phrase, when he was playing PS2 and getting run off the track by another car, was “You stupid bitch! Get out of my way!!!” Gee, wonder where he heard that one? lol
Anyway, I truly love and adore everything about you. And that means EVERY-FUCKING-THING!
Well hell’s bells. I probably use choice words on my blog less than I do in person. Don’t ever play cards for me because I am known for cursing like a sailor then. Especially if I am losing. When I started working with kids, I had to learn how to turn it off. You know what they say — if you can’t stand the heat, then get the hell out of my fuckin’ kitchen. Or something like that. You know what I mean.
My language in person can be pretty salty, depending on the situation and company at the time. I tend not to do it so much on the blog because I type way slower than I can think-giving me something I don’t do in talking- I stop and consider all the words available!
I totally agree, why should you stop swearing to save other peoples feeling. Bleegh, that is such bull shit. I swear on my blog and in person, ok I am trying to cut down the in person part cause my son is becoming the little parrot and repeats everything. But Hilly if you want to swear go ahead and fucking swear, we all do it maybe not out loud but I am sure most people have said a cuss to themselves every now and again.
P.s. I think I will become a reader now, so you have one replacement for some of the readers you have lost. :)
I fucking suppose you’re right. Wasn’t it like first grade wehn we all learned “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”? Perhaps we just need to beat these people with some sticks and stones to remind them of that.
Lisa: It was like that when my nephew started mimicking me buy saying “What the hayyyck?”. Thank GOD I said “heck” that time!
Dagny: OMG, that is when it is the worst…when I play cards!
buffalodickdy: I can totally dig that! I think I swear more in person than on my blog as well…this post was the exception, of course ;).
Melissa: Yay, a new reader! I would be much obliged :).
Y not I: Mmnmmm, sticks!
If they can’t handle a few words here or there, they shouldn’t be reading. Freedom of speech and all that jazz.
Personally, I don’t cuss a lot, but it doesn’t bother me if other people do.
I’m the proud owner of a certified degree in advanced scatology. I try to keep it to a minimum on my blog, however, ‘cuz some of my readers log in from work. Fuckin’ content blockers are a pain in the ass.
Hallo,
The way I see it, I pay for the service. They are my rambles. So why wouldn’t I swear. I see my blog as the last bastion of freedom I have and if people don’t like it well… fuck ‘em.
What confuses me though why bother to tell you they’ve stopped reading you… people are strange.
It may sound elitist, snobbish, or like rubbish, but I still remember my 9th grade English teacher, who I revered with great amounts of respect, eloquently stating that profanity is mostly used when the person speaking lacks the vocabulary to express themselves otherwise.
This impacted me with profound strength. I vowed to make sure I was seldem without the proper words from that point forward. Now, if I do swear, it’s out of frustration or possibly mostly in context of who I’m with. It’s usually a singular word used as an expletive.
Thank you, Ms. Zamora, St Louis Catholic High School, Lake Charles, LA.
Hilly, I love you! You are just so fucktacular and your potty mouth does NOT need a douching! All of those cum-guzzling asslickers can go to hell! YnotI is right- let’s become the angry villagers and hunt these folks down with sticks and stones!!
Lynda: Live and let live, right?
Rick: You worry me at times ;).
Nat: Exactly! I pay too. I think that my asking someone how they’ve been or where they’ve been means that they should list all of my faults or something.
Wayne: I agree and disagree. When I am fighting with someone, I generally don’t scream a stream of obscenities because to me, that is not an intelligent debate and no way to get my point across. However, part of the cussing thing in every day life is just part of that good old California slang and it is who I am…I really do have a big vocabulary!
Metalmom: Bwahahaha, it takes a LOT to make me snort first thing in the morning but you did it!!!
Wayne, your teacher was full of shit. Profane words are the most flexible words in the English language, and it’s only because they’re considered “salty” that people have a problem with it. It’s like the Puritanical notion that a bare breast is evil.
Hilly, ya big ol’ cuntbag, you’re awesome. Your mouth is one of the reasons you’re so entertaining to read!
I’ve been known to let the profanity fly myself. I am not nearly as creative as you, being most partial to the f-bomb . . . such a versatile word, it can serve as every part of speech!
I love ya, colorful language and all. :)
Hilly, Glad you agree some :) You’re right – utilizing profanity in a debate (or name calling, or “oh yeah?!?!? Well YOU’RE STUPID!) is the opposite of intelligent. I didn’t mean using cussing during a fight or a debate, I meant (as did my teacher) that the use of profanity instead of the right word indicates a lack of vocabulary. IE, using it as an adverb (That’s so f-ing cool), it’s because there’s a lack of knowledge of the other words that might be used to be more descriptive (amazingly, incredibly, etc). As a noun (you’re the sh*t), it gives no valid clue as to what it means, but is more fitting with the trendy vernacular. It’s like the word “awesome” when it’s over used for every. single. adjective. in. one’s. day. It gets old. It seems to be used either for shock value (lack of substance) or as a last resort (lack of intelligence)
Ahpoo, I never said it wasn’t flexible. Check out this sound bite of the proof. It’s hilarious. And I enjoy me some profanity in comedy, like Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, George Carlin and Sam Kinison (and even Steve Martin was a master of the delicate use of artful profanity), but say, the string of profanities in Def Comedy Jam where the cussing is just part of the conversation, or is supposedly THE funny part, I just can’t enjoy it.
Wayne, I knew you didn’t shun profanity, because I’ve gotten emails from you that clearly demonstrate that. I agree with your distinction, too.
Ahpoo!!!!!. Those emails were private! I can’t believe you sling about our intimate relationship on other people’s blogs. I trusted you.
Besides, it’s not profanity when it’s an accurate sexual description of bodily parts, functions, and activities.
:/
Wayne, I completely have to disagree, but that is what makes the world go around! My husband is a true word smith who enjoys using large words just to use them. I have the same vocabulary skillset but choose NOT to use it all of the time. That doesn’t make me stupid, uneducated or anything else along those lines…it makes me who I am.
Let me explain….I have grown up my whole life in California. Slang is a huge part of the Californian diction as is everything else. Cuss words are in the slang family. When we here someone who refused to use slang, it does sound elitist and judgmental. I never wanted to sound like that person. Now, I did not dumb down who I am…I just adopted a way of speaking that is both intelligent at times and Plain Jane Slang at others. I think that not knowing more intelligent choices is one thing, but choosing not to always use them is another.
It’s really more cultural than anything for me. My husband, born and raised in Indiana, still does not use much slang unless it comes from the gaming industry stuff.
I just think it’s too broad-based to group everyone in this category of being stupid because they choose not to always use the Roget Word of the Week.
(ps, I hope I don’t sound snarky….I had two hours of sleep so I am worried that healthy debate is going to sound rude and that is not how I mean it to sound!)
here=hear
Gotta love the grammar slip up while debating about intelligence!
I find it interesting that a refusal (do you also mean preference to not use?) to use slang is elitist and judgmental. I would think that if I berated someone for using it all the time, or pointed it out in unwelcome feedback, or treated someone as if they were beneath me… *that* would be elitist and judgmental. I would liken it to some country club elite saying (in a specific voice) “Look, muffy. That poor and helpless ruffian can only use their little playground words to express themselves, isn’t that a tragedy, myuhuh huh huh huh!”
Obviously I’m not completely unable to withstand the profane, nor do I completely abstain from it in private emails to those who might prefer or get laughs from it, as I am an avid reader of Avi’s site. And yours. But I will 100% _refuse_ to use profanity on my personal blog, for example, because I want it to be family friendly. I want my 13yr old daughter to be able to read it. I want my parents to be able to read it.
I guess it comes down to ‘know thy audience’. And I don’t think we disagree there. This guest post was about profanity; my comment kept the topic. I’m sure I would not be as welcome if you just used profanity in some post about, oh, I don’t know, Avi’s penis pumps postcards, and I left a comment about how my 9th grade teacher said that you’re stupid for using profanity… I would consider that elitist and judgmental. As would you, I think.
Ah… the old “cursing in conversation shows a lack of intelligence and vocabulary” debate!
This always makes me smile, because I work with real-live geniuses from time to time in my job. And I’m not talking about people who are “just smart”… the people I’m talking about are far beyond smart, and are doing stuff that 99% of the population couldn’t even begin to comprehend. And let me tell you, it never fails… despite having a vocabulary that puts a dictionary to shame, they still resort to using profanity in every-day conversation.
And it’s not because they don’t know what words to use… or can’t think of the proper words to express themselves… it’s just that profanity has worked its way into the English vernacular and is so entrenched in our culture of movies, music, and television, that it has evolved into yet another common method of expression in the times we live in.
I use profanity on my blog when I feel the mood and situation calls for it. If somebody wants to think that I lack intelligence or vocabulary because of the way I choose to express myself at those times, then they can go fuck themselves. :-D
What I most disturbing about this debate is the lack of new and exciting curse words. It’s one thing to use profanity, but it’s quite another to invent new ones or create trends. Avi is someone I consider at the forefront of today’s slang-creation bubble, and if I could buy stock in the ability for someone to generate new slang wealth, I’d be a huge owner of Avistock.
A friend of mine gave me a fantastic gift: The Dictionary of Playground Slang. There’s an online version of it as well.
THAT book is an unending resource of new and useful pieces of slang.
And Dave, we still agree. I don’t take the use of profanity in a discussion as sole proof of lack of intelligence. It’s just an indicator, just as perhaps incorrect grammar might be, or total disregard of buzzwords’ meaning, or misspelling, or phrases and idioms like nowhutahmsayin or ‘you know?’ or ‘like’ being injected every three words. In the end, it’s the substance that counts and I can always meander through the indicators and not be distracted as much.
But I’m still prejudiced. If I encounter a lot of profanity, I’ll assume that there’s a high chance of less-than-average intelligence, and move on. And I’m ok with that.
Thank goodness for the exceptions :)
I remember being completely shocked the first time I saw “Pulp Fiction” in ‘95. All the swearing made me so uncomfortable, because it was the first time I’d seen it in a mainstream movie.
Flash forward to today, and I no longer blink an eye when the movie comes on. I think, for the most part, we’ve just come to accept it.
I try not to swear in public, and NEVER around small children. But in the privacy of my own home (or sometimes on my own blog), there’s not a day that goes by where I don’t say some version of “fuck” at least 10 times.
As far as the lost readers, Hilly, fuck ‘em.
Whew! Thank you. You reminded me that my guest post stint is coming up. August 6, in fact.
And if people can’t take the cursing, fuck ‘em.
I work with men. The first few weeks I was around them they would cuss in the other room then immediately turn and say, “Sorry Sue!”… I would try and tell them it wasn’t something they had to apologize for but they didn’t believe me until the day I got pissed and yelled “FUCK IT”… wow…did I ever get the looks! Needless to say, they never apologized again!
Every once in a while I read someone and say “Man, I really hope someone, somewhere, is paying this chick for this cuz she’s DANG funny/good/thought-provoking.” And you know what? A lot of times that happens when I’m reading YOU!
LOL!! You are my kind of woman! I just got the same shit over my potty mouth not long ago. According to the assholes, I’m less of a person and a mother because I say “fuck.” Fuck that!
Hilly, I love your fucking mouth. There is nothing quite like a well placed curse word, but you my dear, take it to a whole new level. I bow down to your ability to create new profanity.
My personal pet peeve: “My bad.” Someone once said it to me after saying something truly insulting, at work, about my job performance, in a meeting, in front of everyone. And when I called him on it, he said “my bad.” Killed it for me. People say it to me and I want to scream. Profanities.
Holy Shit woman! It “that particular mouth element” that I love about you most! Fuck those who don’t, assholes and assholerettes!!! They can stick their disapproval up their asses, you know that particular body element where the sun doesn’t shine… Well, unless you have a reaaaaallly big asshole, then some beams might creep in at times…
I am sure if they disapprove of your language, they sure ass hell would feel the same about mine… Fuck ‘m Fuck ‘m Fuck ‘m!!!
Thanks for the great post, Hill!!!
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