The Dutch Files

Remember THIS and THIS? Those are commercials of one of Dutchyland’s largest insurance companies: Centraal Beheer. They have the funniest commercials, at least I think so…

This is their latest one

It cracked me up… as they always do…

Something else that cracked me up the other day was the Richard Pryor tribute they’re broadcasting on Comedy Central this weekend. I watched a recording of a 1979 show of Richard Pryor and I almost peed all over my sheets (Yeah? So? I was watching TV in bed. Deal with it) from laughing. That guy really used to be extremely funny! No doubt about it. I already knew that, but seeing recordings like that are a great reminder…

OK, Happy Sunday! O.M.F.G. is it seriously October 1 tomorrow? Sheesh! It feels like it turned January only just last week!!! Where does all that time go, anyway? Gah!

OK, so I forgot to post on Thursday and had to skip Friday. That has nevah happened to me before… ever… Not since I started blogging over 2 years ago (yes, I had another blog before this one)…

I am just too effin busy… I am always busy but somehow the past few weeks, when I thought things couldn’t get worse, things have taken a turn for the worst… My weeks have been a slur of at least 16-18 hour days mainly filled with (hang on to your pants, The DutchBitch is joining the ranks of the “bullet point” bloggers!!!)

• My full time management-assistant job at which I am currently doing the work for 2 fulltime ones of those. And it doesn’t look like it’s going to let up as the medical center has just announced budget cuts which makes it pretty clear that the already very unlikely event of hiring an extra secretary over here is now down the drain..
• Taking care of The Kid, which with the behavior of The Ex deteriorating isn’t getting any easier
• Doing a few extra administrative jobs in the evenings and weekends, to earn some much needed extra cas
• Serious worrying about my finances
• Studying (I’ve started a management-training which requires at least 8 hours study/week)
• A bunch of my friends landing themselves in all kinds of relationship- and other shit who need to vent. I am there for them, even though I am seeing stars right now. Hey! They’re my friends!
• 2 married fucktards not letting off, even though I am ignoring them, to the extent that they’re driving me nuts now
• The Kid’s school constantly fucking up stuff, like putting our old address of 5 years back in the school guide, and fucking up The Kid’s lunchtime care every other day…
• Daycare having been closed at times
• and so on and so on and so on…

To top it off I drove to Utrecht yesterday, about an hour drive, to attend a workshop I registered for, only to learn at arrival that the workshop had been cancelled and they fucking forgot to notify me and one other participant! So I spent a whole morning studying and a whole afternoon hauling my ass back and forth, which could’ve been well used at the office diggin’ thru the truckload of backlog that is waiting for me there. All just because someone was too stupid to notify all participants!!! And to make matters worse, I really have to do this workshop, meaning I’ll have to reschedule in the next few weeks which will take me out of the office for another day… Shit!

It.Is.All.Totally.Fucking.Me.Up!

I am a pretty self sufficient, self relient person. I can take care of myself. I am not afraid to do work long and hard, in fact I prefer that to having to pick my nose. But right now… Dunno…

Obviously it was just a waiting game for me to fall ill… I’ve been feeling off all week and starting to have throat aches at night and yesterday I crashed and burned… My throat is só swollen I can hardly speak or swallow, my head is exploding, my temp is running up and fast, all my limbs are aching, and the amount of snot running out of my nose… holy shit! It’s a miracle it’s not that clogged up in there that it’s coming out of other cavities…

*tuut tuut tuut tuut* DutchBitch: Yes guys, back up that truck of Advil and leave it over here!

It’s the weekend: The Kid is here so I want to spend some quality time with him, which I will, despite the fact that I am running a fever and coughing my lungs out. This morning we’ll also have to do grocery shopping, have pics made for the passport that hás to be renewed next week if I still want to be in time, get a birthday gift for his friend, and have his eyes checked at the optician cuz he’s been squinting them watching TV and reading for weeks now and The Ex refuses to take this task upon him despite asking him 3 times. The Kid will be at a friend’s birthday party in the p.m. When he’s off I will be off see one of my best girlfriends to help her out with her crashed PC… STFU! I know, but I promised her to do so! Then tonight or on Sunday I will have to finish one of the extra administrative jobs, cuz it has it’s deadline on October 1… And I have to make a planning for a new extra job I am starting next week, deadline mid October… Oh, and the appartement hasn’t been cleaned for ages, and there’s still the odd DIY jobs lying around that have to be done.. seriously!

While what I really really really really want to be doing is get my ill ass under the covers with some chicken soup and hankies, while hugging the bottle of NyQuil Fab sent to me a while ago (Yes, STFU! I am very careful using only when I reaaaaally need it, as they don’t sell the shit over here)…

*snorting up snot*

So, I’ll be off now. Hitting the shower, getting dressed, and starting my weekend…

O.M.F.G!!!

It’s fucking 7.30 p.m.!

Why didn’t anyone wake me up? Sheesh!!!

Doesn’t anyone care what’s going on when I don’t turn up for a day?

Isn’t anyone worried? I might be lying in a ditch and nobody gives a shit? Pffftt!!!!

I have been SO effin busy that I actually FORGOT to post today!!!

I am so sorry to have left you in total despair… Thanks for allaya concern… Tsk! *rolling eyes*

I am so busy doing the work of 2 fulltime management-assistants at my 1 fulltime job at the medical center, showing a new secretary the ropes (alas, not one that is gonna relieve me of my tasks, as she’s from one of the other departments that have no one to show her around, spending 2 days with her I am pretty sure I landed myself a new friend), doing some extra administrative work in the evening to earn some extra cash, taking care of The Kid, and studying… Fuck! It’s tyring even summing that up and reading it myself… Gah!
I am literally seeing stars… And it’s not a case of starry eyes… unfortunately…

I don’t think, since starting my blog, I’ve evah forgotten to post…

I think I’ll be on hiatus for another day or so and then I’ll be back with you… I promise!!!

Yeah… so it was Sunday…

I was at home all alone…

I was bored out of my skull… (ask metalmom… she was bored too and I made her play Scrabulous with me on Facebook)

And I had had a few glasses of wine…

STFU! It seemed like a great idea at the time

Yes, those are my toes…

Yes, that’s The Kid’s Pirates of the Carribean shower gel out there in the back

Yup, that was my third glass of wine and I did finish it…

No, I didn’t drop my mobile phone (it was it’s camera that made this lucky shot, nevah go anywhere without it) into the water…

I almost did when I had to sneeze…

I think I’m allergic to bath foam…

-rant alert-

Holy Crap! I wasn’t feeling that hot anyway yesterday -still aren’t- so I guess one more shitstirring thing adding to that was to be expected…

I had the biggest scare of my life, up ’till now, yesterday… Early afternoon I learned that The Kid had involuntarily made a summer sault-ish flip on his bike onto the main road, while cycling to the class’ weekly swimming lesson, and had almost been run over by a truck… Thank God for the truckdriver paying attention and slamming on the breaks… and coming to a standstill about 2 inches from my son…

I had to learn this not straight from the school, and worse, not even from his dad with whom The Kid was staying yesterday… The fucking bastard didn’t even bother to call me… I had to hear from my sister who had been called by the school cuz someone needed to come pick up my kid (and the school couldn’t be bothered to try call his parents and immediately resorted calling the emergency number, my sistah’s)…
My kid was almost squashed yesterday, has probably looked death in the eye (I am nót being melodramatic here, but The Kid being 9 years old now I assume that he realizes what could have happened staring at the front of a truck coming to a halt 2 inches from your face), and the shitforbrains asshole doesn’t call me after it’s happened, doesn’t call me later on to let me know whether The Kid is ok, and to top it off: doesn’t answer my calls when I try to call his place later that day and in the evening to talk to my son and see how he is doing… He can see it is me calling and he just fucking doesn’t answer his phone!!!

Sheesh!!!

He finally replied to a txt message at 11 p.m. asking him how our son was doing with the words “doing fine, just a bump on head“… JUST a bump on the head? How about the scare? Godfuckingdammit!!! How about informing me earlier. How about letting me talk to my son when I try to call him!!!

The Kid is coming home at 7 p.m. tonight so I guess I’ll get the full story then… I am glad that for the remainder of the week he’s home with me instead of with his bugger dad…

Oh, and the reason that my son flipped over on his bike? Disfunctional breaks on the shitty bike his dad got him… A second hand bike that has had fairly all parts of it fall off… Just because he’s to cheap to either get him a decent one or have this one looked over at the bikestore to get it fixed… I have warned him about the danger of that fucking bike more than once… I’ll ask him tonight… whether he realizes he had almost haunted his son into death with that fucking disfunctional bike…

On the bright side: the fucking bike was totalled… so he’ll have to get him a new one… Just hope it’s a fucking decent one now… Fucktard!

-End of rant-