Penile Shmenile
So W.T.F. is the deal with those assholes that can’t stand small cars?!?! Yeah, hold on to your pants: Rant coming on!
Things in life are slowly returning back to normal (yes, Buff: to what passes for normal over here)… Summer break in this part of the country is over. Schools over here were amongst the last to start in all Dutchyland, so starting this Monday, finally all schools in Dutchyland have started up again. So have most parents of all those kids…
The Rat Race is on again and it starts early morning on the road to the office. I drop off The Kid at daycare from where he will go to school and get back in the car to proceed to the office. Well, lemmetellya, the drivers categorized as motherfuckingassholes are back on the roads again! They’ve returned from summer break. Thing is, I drive a fairly small car. And most drivers in those motherfucking SUV’s, BMW’s, Mercedes, and whatever other big ass car CAN’T STAND driving behind a small car. Make no mistake: my car can keep up on the freeway. I can do the maximum speed limit and far above. I can manoeuver more swiftly than any of those big ass fuckers, but it is the fact that they are stuck behind a SMALLER car that is doing their heads in…
So they push, they shuv, they cut in line, they cut me off, they drive past me in the right lane (ok in Australia or the UK that wouldn’t be much of a problem, but trust me: over here it is), they do everything they can only to get past me… They endanger themselves, other people and most importantly me, because they are frustrated about being behind a smaller car… Does it cut into their selfesteem to be behind me? Even when I am driving the max speed limit or even over? Is it because possibly their colleagues will se them driving behind me and they’ll never heard the end of it? Does it hurt? Physically hurt? Mentally hurt? W.T.F.!?!?!?!?! Crazy Mofo’s! A car is a car is a car!
And you know what? It is ALWAYS a guy… Yeah… I knów that for a fact, because unlike those sissy buggers themselves, who try look straight ahead when they drive past me, I dó look at them… when I give them The Finger…
Pfffttt!!! Must be a penile thing…
Well, here’s a message for allaya MoFo’s: YOU CAN ALL KISSSSSS MYYYYY ASSSSSSS!!! If I am driving the maximum speed limit or over, I am in the left lane passing a slower car, you can do all the honking and signalling with your lights or whatever… I am not moving aside to let you pass UNTIL I AM DONE passing the MoFo car that I (IIIIIII!!!) was passing!
Anybody have the number to contact the A-Team? I’m gonna have B.A. pimp up my car to a Road Bitch Mobile! The kind where knives come out of the side of my car to rip apart the body work of those MoFo cars, and shit! Pimp It Like That!
Tsssssssssssssss *index finger sizzling on hot ass*
Da-dada-dadada-dadadadada-dadadadaaaaa!!! STFU! That IS how the A-Team themesong goes! It Is!
18 Dutch Treat(s)
I agree. Fuck them all… bastards.
Actually, i have quite a big car, but it doesn’t have a penis on the bonnet (hood?). And if I passed you, I’d at least wave. Or wink. Or possibly flash
No – seriously – if I knew it was you, I’d do none of those things. I’d… errrmm…
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Relax Dutchie, your nerves are playing on you this morning
It’s the same everywhere with some stupid guys driving their penis enlargers. It happens to me too am I driving either a small or bigger car BUT I don’t have a BMW or other testosteronish car so I’m not a member of their club.
At the end of their daily trips they must be VERY tired with their mental masturbations.
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WDKY: errmmm… what? Spill it!
Froggywoogie: Well, as long as they limit themselves to mental ones…
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Be glad you don’t live here! I hate driving the freeways because 75% of people have huge SUVs, it’s like one of those futuristic movies where the cars mow each other down.
I used to be queen of the middle finger but not anymore! I’d get shot.
Flip off a few of those idiots for me, would you please?
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Jane: Consider it done, babe! No prob!
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My pushbike is way smaller than a car, but in rush hour when it’s all stop start, I’m the fastest thing on the road. Oh Yeah!~
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Don’t sugarcoat it honey, how do you really feel?
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Woo hoo, the bitch is back!
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Do you have Hummers over there? Because nothing says, “I’m compensating for a small penis” like a great big hulking former Army vehicle.
Again, boys are stupid.
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I pity the fool who mess wit you!
Hubs will let everyone pass, cut in and everything else. He’s a nice driver. I will curse, yell and honk for him!!!
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D-Man: Take Me With U…
Fabulous: RaaaaahhhhhhH!!!!!!! :evil:
AndiMac: You bet I am!
Finn: We do, although they’ve been banned from several city centers for polution and just being too big and causing trouble jerking their way around there!
Metalmom: LOL, see! We are great at that stuff!
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I haven’t decided if I will worry about getting my license over there when I move. In fact, with my road rage issues, its probably best if I just stick to public transit! lol
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Personally, I think we should all go back to the horse and buggy. Huge cars are annoying, especially when I’m trying to make a turn in my civic and can’t see over those suckers.
However, I find it interesting you guys keeps saying it’s a male thing – I noticed that most of the people that drive giant SUVs in my town are women – it’s true! Right now outside my museum are tons of SUVS all used by soccer moms with their kids. In actual truth, I think the whole “penis extension” thing is a more of a myth than reality. I mean, do women with small breasts buy bigger pillows? Maybe they do, I don’t know :)
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That Bitchy Chick: Drive the roads! Do it!
Jarod: Well, I’m just saying it’s a Guy Thing in my case. I look to see who it is EVERY time and it has nevah been a woman so far… I am just talking from PERSONAL experience here, babe..
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That’s cool. It’s just that I hear that joke a lot about things being an extension of the penis, yet I have never thought that about a single item I have purchased or own, so personally it seems a little suspect – similar to the “penis-envy” myth – how true are these things, really?
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Wow, after driving back & forth to Denver so much lately, I SO could have written this post – LOL. I don’t miss city traffic at ALL.
And yep, with me, I find it’s always a man, too… ;-)
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Jarod: No myth to my experience. That it doesn’t go for you doesn’t mean it’s not true
Tug: LOL, so no moving to Denver for me then
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Haha, that is certainly true! But the curious cat in me suddenly wants to know what documented scientific evidence there is (oh no, you have me thinking). I have never seen a survey, or any kind of study that would comfirm this. But as you said this doesn’t mean it’s not true. Could you share why you think this, from your experience?
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