Oct 24
Bring on the rides!
Yesterday was our Fall Break Day Out - day. I spent the day in De Efteling, a themeparc in the south of The Netherlands.
The Kid and I went over there with The Chief and his 4 kids. So that would be 2 adults, and 5 kids in the ages of 7 (girl), 9 (boy), 9 (boy), 11 (boy) and 15 (boy)… Can you already get the feel of the day? Huh? Yeah, like that…
We drove over to The Chief’s place where we arrived at 9 a.m. Now, 9 a.m. clearly is way too fucking early for The Chief’s kids.. I came walking into the living room and found one jumping bean 7 year old cutie girl that immediately lodged herself to my leg and 3 boys that were sagged into the living room couches like they’d just come back from a week’s hell on “Survivor” or whatever… They mumbled out something that resembled a combination of “Hi” and “Goodmorning”… or summin’
We, The Chief and I, dragged everyone into his Chrysler Voyager (I refused to drive over there with 2 cars and shoving them all in my Fiat Panda… well uhm… Nope) and were off. The drive was livened by one of The Chief’s kids either hitting or kicking one of his other kids, and either one of them crying out “Daaaaaaaddd!!!” and The Chief rolling his eyes in utter despair while driving, while trying to sort things out verbally… At some point I decided to throw myself in the mix and at times turn around and dart a nasty “shut the fuck up and get over it”-look at the culprit of the moment, which kinda worked out…Of course, when you are in a car with 5 battling kids, close to the exit to the themeparc… the exit to the themeparc is closed due to an accident and you have to take a 45 min detour to get there… Hallelujah! Both The Chief and I were so fucking relieved when we had finally arrived and we could jack everyone out of the car and get some fresh fucking air! Holy Shit!
Needless to say we started the day in the themeparc with a cup of coffee. God knows we deserved that!
Then The Chief informed me that “he was under no circumstances going in a.n.y. ride in the themeparc”… Great! Another chicken specimen of the male kind… What is it with men? Fucking scared little shits!
The mood of the kids changed once we’d walked into the themeparc and I spent the better part of the day taking all the kids into the rides. I did the “Pegasus” (a completely wooden rollercoaster), the “Python” (a regular rollercoaster), the “Half Moon Pirate Ship” (a swinging pirate ship), “Bird Rok” (a rollercoaster in the dark), “Dream Flight” (elves and dwarfs scenery), “Fata Morgana” (1001 nights scenery), “Pagode” (a ride taking you 10 stories above the parc for a magnificent view), “Villa Volta” (a house with rotating walls that makes you feel you are turning upside down), the “Fairytale Forrest” (speaks for itself, right) and whatever else the parc has to offer… I vetoed the rides that have a potential to get wet in. Cuz, I am always the one getting dripping fucking wet. I am always the one in the part of the boat where the biggest wave slashes over the edge… Doesn’t matter which part of the boat I am in… the megawave will always find me…
I almost lost my job… I think… when I tipped over a huge cup of Fanta over the pants of the oldest son of The Chief… And The Chief almost got into a fist fight with a lady in line in front of him, who decided to smack his youngest son over the head because he had bumped into her… Fucking bitch! The Chief decided to put her in her place verbally. He’s very good at that… In fact, for the duration of the wait I think he shut up the whole line. I have never seen such a quiet place in the themeparc… ever…
Other than that we spent the day shutting up the kids asking for sweets, snacks and drinks all the time and caving at their requests at times… Oh and taking one after another to the nearest toilets… Cuz, kids… they never need to go when one of the others is going… They always need to go when you’ve just walked away from the toilets… I think the line “But I just ásked you if you needed to go!” was the sentence used most yesterday… Well, that and the word “NO!”…
The way back in the car was as enjoyable as the way there with the exception of the fact that this time we didn’t get into a 45 minute detour -slash- traffic jam… At the Chief’s place the bottle of red wine was opened faster than the speed of light! Nothing like alcohol to soothe ya after a day with 5 kids… Gah!
But it’s Spring, silly.
I’m going to have to go to a theme park with you… I’m the only one I know that goes on any rides fast enough to blow your hair! As for days like that… hmmmm. I sometimes wonder why on earth we do it. Then I remember - I think
D-man: No silly, in the real world it’s fall, hon…
WDKY: I will keep you to that! And well, the kids had a great time, and it was a good excuse for me to go on the rides too
God I LOVE roller coasters!!! ( They don’t love my back!- I miss them so!) It sounds like you had a wonderful day.
Why do they call it ‘de effing park?’
Metalmom: De Ef-te-ling… Dutch isn’t that hard? Right?
That witchy woman smacked his kid on the head? I’d have torn her head off too. Maybe literally
LisaB: Yeah, my reaction would’ve been much more agressive as well… but his was fantastic!
I miss theme parks!!! I’m glad you got away for the day.
sounds like fun…except for the bitch in line. It is even more fun when the kids get older and go off on their own…
My comment seems to have been eaten by the internet!
I really enjoyed de Efteling when I was there. After having had so many damn trips to Disney World, it was nice to see a new theme park for a change. My favorite ride was Dream Flight. We didn’t ride any roller coasters and that was okay with me. I guess when I move over next year I’ll have to get an annual pass so I can keep up with Tracey….she’s such an Efteling whore!
Shortie: So where did they go? Your themeparcs?
Katherine: Ehm… so then what do the parents do?
Turnbaby: I think the comment must’ve been SO good, my blog couldn’t take it…
That Bitchy Chick: Are you sure De Efteling can take another annual pass whore? I mean… ya know…
SHUT IT BITCH!!!
I have not been there for so long and I have a session pass!!!
I tell you… just rub salt into the wounds **sharpens her stiletto’s** I know my next victim !!!!!
If that woman had laid a hand on my son, I would have tied her ass, naked and bleeding, to the nearest coaster and sent her on a journey she would never forget.
Prick! Someone should shoot the sow!
CP.
I can’t believe a stranger hit the chief’s son. I am not even a mother, and I would have made sure she never touched another kid again.
And why would the cheif go to a theme park and NOT go on any rides with his kids? Sheesh.
I think D-man thinks you live in Austrilla or South America. It’s spring there.
now imagine that with 5 times the kids, me on my own and at a place they obviously hate, called “school” ;) Welcome to my world haha
anyway, I think it is good you Boss had a go at her, was she crying in the end? I hope she was
When my kids were younger, once a summer- Cedar Point! I have loved roller coasters since I can remember! The wait in line- no love at all….
Holy shit! What possessed you? lol I don’t go on rides either. Yes I am a chicken shit who is afraid of heights and gets motion sickness.
If there is 1 thing in life I love it’s rollercoasters!!! Oh my gosh, you were in rollercoaster heaven!
What is it with boys and peeing? It’s like they have no warning, not even 30 seconds. Thank god they don’t give birth or we’d all be in deep poopoo!
OMG and you have a car called Panda? I am forever jealous. Forever.
Severity: Well, if you kill me, there will be no Winterefteling trip… Just sayin’ And you were just there a few months ago! My last time was years ago!
CP: Yeah, I tried to get a gun from the shooting ring, but they wouldn’t give it to me.
Lynda: The Chief is just chicken… Extremely… Then again, he paid for all the food and shit and drove us there…
Lisa: Hon, I come from a family of teachers. My dad was a headmaster. I know about that shit and it is exactly why I didn’t go into teaching…
Buff: The lines weren’t too bad here. At the most 20 min.
Shelli: The rides are fun! Come with me sometime!!!
Jane: Boys and peeing are just weird… totally weird in every way…
Wow! You deserve a medal! I have no idea how you’ve managed without any sedatives.
I have learned to zoom out noise of fighting kids in the back of the car when I was married and my ex’s kids would be raising hell… while he just looked liked nothing was going on… selective hearing it’s called I believe…
BUT WITH 5 KIDS???
Wow you must have nerves of steel!
You are my hero of the WEEK!
ps: I love the Efteling… the good old days…