In the first year after my divorce I had the occassional fling… just for sex… It’s not my kinda thing, really, but at the time it worked for me. I was totally preoccupied by all the divorce shit and finding a place to live, which both almost took 2 years to finalize… After that, when I got my feet back on solid ground, I was done with the fling thing… I am not the one-night-stand kinda girl. I am not the “just sex” kinda girl. I need more than that, I think I deserve more than that… So I can’t do that shit…
…
Up to a point…
…
Right now, years and years on, truckloads of batteries spent, suffering from MIRSI (masturbation induced repetitive strain injury), several crotch “areas” close to falling off from rubbing it… I can’t take it anymore…
I.N.E.E.D.S.E.X.A.N.D.I.N.E.E.D.I.T.NOOOOOWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!
Holy Fucking Shit! My crotch area is near boiling point, ready to explode. Nothing that can be solved with self satisfaction anymore. I don’t think even The Vaginator could save me at this point.
So let me inform you about this: if your husband and/or boyfriend is any kind of good looking and/or hot, and any kind of into me… read my lips: keep-him-away-from-me. I am fucking serious! I am a total liability to your relationship right now. I need to get my hands on fucking hot sex material and I am taking no prisoners. If your guy’s eyes even so much as “stray” into my direction, his dick ass is mine! MINE I tell ya! And to you men who feel no need to be slammed down by yours truly and have their brains fucked out, stay away from me as well. Cuz I am not asking any permission before I bolt you down, get on top and have my way with you.
Just sayin…
Now… I’m off for another day’s work at the office…
-End of DutchBitch Public Service Announcement-
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Well, that certainly got the attention of both my brains.
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MC: Seriously? So this is the way to go then?
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Dammit. We’re only “hypothetical swingers”. ;D
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D-Man: No way the “hypothetical” can be ommitted? Sure?
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I could put my suit on and have my already hard strap-on, on under it, even better I have a whole black book of submissives willing to serve, just call me **huge fucking grin**
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I have never loved you more than I do at this very moment.
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Severity: I might have to call in that favor
Fab: Awww
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You didn’t stiffen my resolve- you stiffened something, but it wasn’t my resolve….
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Buff: So what exactly did I stiffen? *halo*
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wait. Exactly what is it that you’re trying to say?
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Bluepaintred: well, I guess mainly just “drool” and “needy”
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hmmm maybe Santa will bring you a treat or two, lets not lose hope!
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Do you think it’s something in the weather?..yours truly has been suffering from this for 2 weeks now as well….imagine 2 years
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You can borrow mine, I’ve been out of commission lately and he’s horny as hell.
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Jen: I am not holding my breath…
Lisa: 2 years? More like 5 years, Hon…
Robin: Hand him over, now!
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I don’t know what to say…
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JQ: you are not meant to say anything… you won’t have a chance…
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I’ll send him UPS wrapped in a bow.
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I don’t think you would steal a husband for a permanent type relationship, so I am choosing not to believe that you would do it for a one or two time sex romp. I’m sorry. I wish I could give you sex. Er, I mean, someone to have sex with.
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I meant that I was sorry that you are in a sex drought, not sorry that I think you are a good person. :)
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hahaha, I am hormonal as well… kissed a 26 year old last week and hoped that would do the trick.
It didn’t.
I find myself checking out potential mates, scanning them meticulously, wondering if they could live up to my standards (ahum)…
Maybe my dirty thirties have finally started kicking in…
Glad to hear I am not alone here…
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Toyz R’ US lol
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Robin: Aww thanks Hon. When will you need him back?
Shelli: Right now… I am not promising anything… It’s thát bad…
Xadness: Hell No woman, you are certainly not alone here!
FroggyWoogie: Read My Lips: T.O.Y.S.W.O.N.T.C.U.T.I.T.A.N.Y.M.O.R.E!
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One word.
Symbian.
If THAT doesn’t cut it… then I may need to get my brother a passport. Just be sure to keep him for 11 months, when his lease runs out so I can keep his pad.
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NYCWD: I guess you’d better start working on that passport…
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oh Damn!! ok I am shutting up then!! sorry *goes to hide*
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Lisa: That’s ok Hon, LOL
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OK gotta go now bye…
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RW:
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Hmmmm…we have a holiday party on the 25th I think so by then would be good. I think I can hold up the place while he’s gone. Make sure he does your dishes too…I don’t want him to get out of practice.
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Robin: Consider it done!
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Um…yeah… I think my cherry’s grown back – I’m a virgin again.
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Your mind is obviously obscured because of randy thoughts.
Toyz R’ US, translate toys are us (males) now it’s not as funny as it was intended to after detailed explanation lol
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Tug: LOL
FroggyWoogie: My mind? My mind is not functioning anymore – period. And for the record: just saying ToysRUs is not gonna cut it either… I need action! Not words!
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Get laid already, stop yelling about it! :)
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Do you accept volonteers?
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Catalin: *SIGH* if that was an easy option do you think I wouldn’t!!! Sheesh!!!
Kane: Depends on the volunteer(s)
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And which is the official enrolment procedure? :)
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maybe you’re not a one-night stand kinda girl, but I think due to the extreme circumstances, you might want to make an exception! :D
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You may want to check out this guy. I hear he is desperate.
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Kane: Lemmethinkaboutthatandgetbacktoyou…
Miztris: Yeah, I might…
Polliwog: I checked him out and decided I am not thát desperate…
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Ummm… you really didn’t hold back on this one, did you? lol… interesting to say the least! :-)
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Wow, I’ve been waiting for this moment for years!
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Michael: Holding back is not my strong point
Karl: So ehm… was that you ringing my doorbell just now?
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OMG. You know, I think you are probably the only person on the planet who could get away with this post! The rest of us would be facing a mostly female lynch mob! LOL You are too cool for words!!
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Amy: I am? Naaahhh…. Seriously?
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