Aug 28
The Thing
A few months ago our department offered a trainee position to a medical student. It is a position in which he’ll be at the department for 6 months doing research… That’s 6 months TOO LONG! I am pretty patient and tolerant, even if people are not really my kinda “people”… This guy, na-ah… He’s in his early 20’s and the ONLY person I immediately felt the need to bitchslap the first moment I set eyes on him… He hadn’t even opened his mouth… After he had, bitchslappin’ wasn’t nearly enough… Ever since I just wanna kill him… He makes me loose all sensibility… He’s that kinda guy… Me and the other male student who shares an office with him and is going bananas as well because of him, have decided to call him “The Thing”…
Suffices to say that he’s not loved at the department. In fact, the word “hate” comes to mind regularly in connection with this particular person… He’s arrogant and snotty towards many people while he has no reason to be. For God’s Sake, he just came crawling out of his cabbage!
He’s been on vacation… The Thing… It was heavenly…
Now, our department got a new coffeemachine about 6 months ago. It needs to be cleaned twice a week. On Monday and Thursday at noon, it shuts down and demands to be cleaned and will not operate until someone goes thru the motions. We’re a pretty democratic department so it’s decided that who-ever is at the machine when it goes apeshit, is responsible for getting it back on track… I have posted the extremely easy and clear instructions up on the wall, next to the machine. It’s a matter of pushing some buttons, hauling a cloth thru the machine and putting back the packages of coffee and milk. It’s thát easy, it just takes about 5 minutes… at the móst!
Yesterday, at noon, at the office:
DutchBitch: *sees something resembling The Thing flash by*
TheThing: “Helloooooo. I’m back”
DB: *whisper to self* “OMFG! Please No… It’s back” *gag*
TT: “Ehm… the coffeemachine says “cleaning required” in the display”
DB: “Well, the instructions are posted on the wall nex to the machine. Good luck!”
TT: “But I don’t have to do that, do I? That’s what you are for, aren’t you?”
DB: “Oh really? Does it say Department Slave on my forehead?”
TT: “Uhm, No… but…”
DB: “Well, you know we all pull together to do stuff like that over here at our department, don’t you?”
TT: “Uhm, Yes… but…”
DB: “Just follow the instructions on the wall and you’ll be fine”
TT: “But… that will take ages!”
DB: “It won’t take ages, it just takes a few minutes. In fact, in the time you’ve spend arguing with me about it, you could’ve finished it”
TT: *inaudible*
Almost 10 minutes go by in which I don’t even hear the sound of a button being pushed or the machine door being opened. I am pretty sure he is not doing anything… I turn to watch him and he’s just standing there… Looking at the wall, sighing…
TT: *walking back to my desk*
DB: “Yes?”
TT: “Well, I can’t make heads nor tails of that stuff posted on the wall… I don’t get it at all”
DB: “Look X. It’s a 10 step description. Each step has ONE sentence in there WITH a picture of what to do. We’ve had the machine for 6 months and I’ve had none of the people here fail at cleaning the machine. Just follow the instructions exactly and it will allllll work out. Trust me: You cán do it”
TT: *grumble* - *walking away to his office*
OMFG! He just made thé worst move he could’ve
DB: “Hello! X! Where are you going?”
TT: “I can’t do it”
DB: “Why? Does your religion prevent you to?”
TT: “Uhm… No”
DB: “Are you in any way physically or mentally challenged to do it?”
TT: “Uhm… No”
DB: “So you just figured you’d just leave the shit for the next person? So you’re kinda sorta socially challenged? Right?”
TT: “Well, I just think it’s a secretaries job. I ám studying Medicine, you know…”
Correction: THIS was the worst move he could make
DB: “Look you snotty bugger. You are 21 years old and acting like a spoiled shit. Everyone here cleans the machine, including people with much higher ranks than you. Do not walk away from it”
TT: *inaudible*
Then he apparently decided that he did understand the stuff posted on the wall and was finished cleaning the machine within 4 minutes… Asshole! Antisocial fucker! I hope he will never be my physician when he grows up… I was THIS close to actually drawing blood… HIS blood…
you should’ve hauled a cloth through his head…like in one ear and out the other to get rid of his attitude! lol
good luck with putting up with him ;)
Oh I know the kinda style. There are lots in this rank of age and studies who think everyone else is shit, especially when they are just doing internship. Confronted with real life is very ouchy to them.
I work with that same guy! He’s a real douchebag. I fucking hate him.
OMFG!!! A secretary’s job??? If you ever need an alibi…or a place to hideout….bring the Kid!!!
Oh boy….well then, if the shit wants a coffee, tell him to go
to the nearest cafe and order one. Since he is “too good” to clean the machine. Grrrrr, I don’t even know the bugger and already I hate him.
Perhaps the time has arrived to being persecuting this young bastard until he runs crying like a little girl from the building. Lets See:
:evil: I assume he is probably anal about any and all possessions in his work area. Perhaps some borrowing and rearrangement and things turning up in the restroom for no good reason would be a good beginning.
Let me think on it a little…it’s been a while since I drove one of my co-workers crazy. Student too…all kinds of possibilities there…and you never get caught if you’re careful.
Or am I being too mean?
Oh sweetie…
If that had been me, and he said he couldn’t follow the directions, I would have told him that if he can’t follow a set of simple directions, he has no business screwing around with the human body.
“I’m studying MEDICINE.” You think cleaning a coffee machine is beneath you, try giving a colonoscopy… or a prostate exam.
I applaud the restraint you showed in not drop kicking his narrow ass down the hallway.
He sounds like an asshat doctor I recently fired
Taking notes from Karen’s advice… sounds VERY useful! Oh I like wicked people when I’m on their side lol :D
Lisa: Running a cloth thru his ears would’ve been too much trouble, LOL
FroggyWoogie: I don’t think he even hás a “real life”. He can’t have…
Nobody: Well, if it’s the same guy at least he apparently was in our office and not yours for the day. I am sending him back tomorrow.
AndiMac: Yeah, that’s what he does to most people…
LisaB: Your asshat doctor was probably a “Thing” too at 21… Still probabl
Karen: O.M.F.G. you made me pee my pants!!! LMAO! Thanks for the guh-reat tips!
Finn: OMG! Great one! I’ll make sure his next stop is the colonoscopy dept. In fact, one of their staffmembers is a good friend of mine and he’s coming over for dinner tonight. I’ll get on it right away!
LisaB: Sounds like your doc was a “Thing” too at 21. Probably still is…
FroggyWoogie: When they are on your side, indeed hahaha
Lynda: Chagrijnig… But I just call him KLOOTZAK… hahaha
Ohh, I know *that* guy, I went out with one of them, *shudders*. I blame universities, they tell them they’re special and a lot of them start believing it, thinking they’re better than other people, it’s crazy. And it makes anyone around them want to pummel them. Let’s get on with the pummelling! :)
If it was me, the first word that I might think of is boerelul, but klootzak is so much better!
One day I will have to blog about saying godverdomme in front of my Oma. Oh, and teaching Dan that word and him saying it too.
Rache: Yeah, Let’s pummel away!!!
Lynda: Now lady, wash your mouth out with soap! Tsk! Godverdomme!
I think everyone in the department should suggest he take a nap, fill some pillowcases with bars of soap and then beat him until he cries.
Only one thing to do-screw with his brain evey chance you get! Move his stuff, or hide it. Page him for phone calls that aren’t there. Spike a snack with laxative. Adjust height of chair, or just loosen the lock enough to bottom out when he sits down. You get the picture?
Fill his desk with Lime Jello.
See, I don’t do coffee and I don’t make coffee. My docs know this. I do, however, get the job of firing the physicians because I’m nice like that and he’s too much of a sissy to do it himself. Most of them leave on their own now because he won’t accept the new pay grade for them and use it lol
I want to kill him and I have never laid eyes on him. What an asshole!
Sounds like he needs a very pointy shoe impacted in his asshole. LOL
MC:
Buff: What makes you think I don’t already?
Xalpharis: I don’t think they sell that over here…
Blueyes: LOL, very good!
Shelli: You are very welcome to do so…
Attila: He does!
Yeah, but I can say that here! No one understands me!