The Dutch Files

May 29

Open Letter to Handbag Bitch

Dear Handbag Bitch,

For 14 years I’ve been working at this medical center now and for the past 9 years we’ve had the luxury of parking facility. Of these past 9 years I can safely say that I’ve encountered you at about 8 a.m. fairly every morning we both have to report for duty at the medical center.

You are usually in the parking facility slightly earlier than I am. Because we both apparently prefer taking the far right lane to enter the parking garage, I end up right behind you fairly every day.

We get into the parking facility by use of our medical center personnel badge. It’s a normal size badge, which comes with a chord to fasten it to ones clothing as it is mandatory to wear it during office hours.

EVERY FUCKING MORNING I WAIT BEHIND YOU AT THE ENTRANCE OF THE PARKING FACILITY FOR MINUTES ON END BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO RUMMAGE THRU YOUR, UNDOUBTEDLY ALMOST EXPLODING, HANDBAG TO LOOK FOR YOUR PERSONNEL BADGE!!!

Would it be too much to ask, if you kn?w you will need it at that point in time every morning, and you kn?w you are getting stressed rummaging thru your handbag all red and flushheaded, to FUCKING PUT YOUR BADGE IN AN EASY ACCESIBLE PLACE BEFORE ARRIVAL AT THE PARKING FACILITY?

I NEVER have to look for my badge. It’s in the same place in my car every morning. Your behavior fucks me up, every time!!! If I encounter you doing this again, tomorrow, I am coming over to rip your handbag apart and shuv the badge down your throat. At least that way you will know where it is at all times.

Sincerely,
DutchBitch

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20 Dutch Treats to “Open Letter to Handbag Bitch”

1. on 29 May 2007 at 12:54 pm

   Stupid, stupid people. Some people just don’t seem to have the capacity to think and forward plan their lives. Even when thinking and planning would make things easier for them too! Idiots, sometimes I think the whole world is full of morons, aside from a couple of thousand spread around the globe (you being one of the select few of course Dutchy). It makes me mad just reading about it.

2. on 29 May 2007 at 1:20 pm

   Manage to get in there just AHEAD of her and when she honks at you to hurry up, get out of the car and tell her to use this time to TAKE OUT HER FUCKING CARD! (because you just KNOW she still has it in her purse)! Call her an asshat too! LOL!

3. on 29 May 2007 at 1:43 pm

   Was just about to suggest what metalmom said so I shut it up lol. Is this brainless woman a nurse? If so, how many patients has she accidentally killed so far?

4. on 29 May 2007 at 3:06 pm

   I have that same issue Dutch. We have to wear badges at work, and we must show them at the guard shack before we can get to the parking lot and I always end up getting behind some moron that can’t seem to find his/hers. Mine is around my neck before I leave the house so I don’t have to do that!!!!

5. on 29 May 2007 at 3:58 pm

   I cannot fathom how people do this. Why do they wait to get to the toll booth to pull out their money instead of getting it while they wait in line? Same for the drive-thru. What the fuck is the matter with people? What?!

6. on 29 May 2007 at 4:38 pm

   People thrive on routine. Hers is stupid, and until someone gently tells her how to do it better-it ain’t going to happen….

7. on 29 May 2007 at 4:46 pm

   She is obviously quite organized. Oh, I meant unorganized.

8. on 29 May 2007 at 4:54 pm

   So………how do you really feel? ;-)

   Stupid people…they’re everywhere. unfortunately.

9. on 29 May 2007 at 5:08 pm

   That is so freaking lame! I hang my badge on my rear view mirror as soon as I get out of work so that I will know where it is the next morning. Why are people so crazy?

10. on 29 May 2007 at 5:22 pm

    I have a solution. You arrive earlier than her and make sure your vehicle is directly in front of her. When you are asked for your badge. Not only will you go through your handbag but you will proceed to empty out the contents of your trunk to look for it, the glove compartment in the car along with removing the floor mats in the vehicle. Only then will you recall where it is located.

11. on 29 May 2007 at 6:34 pm

    hell YEAH! Dutchy’s kicking ass and taking names over here and I LIKE IT!! :)

12. on 29 May 2007 at 7:15 pm

    Rache: “Stupid” doesn’t even begin to describe this woman :-(

    metalmom: Yeah, that would feel guh-reat!

    FroggyWoogie: Who knows, she might be a surgeon, that leaves all kinds of shit inside people after surgery. Wouldn’t surprise me. At. All.

    Lucy: OMG! So they’ve spread all around the world? God help us!

    Finn: I don’t know What The Fuck is the matter with people… It’s all fucked up!

    buffalodicky: “some gently”.. hmmm… that can’t be me… LOL

    Lynda: Obviously ;-)

    Tug: Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggghhhhhhhhhhh :evil:

    Hilly: I don’t know. Mine is always in the side pocket of my cardoor, at all times.

    Marty: Yeah, that could work too! :mr green: Still, my gunfinger is reaaaally itching

    Dawn: You Betcha!!!

13. on 29 May 2007 at 9:10 pm

    Dutchy…is violance that necessary. I have a better plan. We poke tiny holes in her tiers and with a permenant marker we write “DO NOT LOOSE THE F-ING BADGE”. We make sure that we write it on her windshield.
    ;)

14. on 29 May 2007 at 10:03 pm

    misstressm: Thanks for the idea, but I think I already passed the non-violent stage a few years ago…

15. on 29 May 2007 at 11:28 pm

    I absolutely HATE people like that. Stupidity in general sends me right over the edge.

16. on 30 May 2007 at 2:26 am

    I am SO turned on right now. If I was over there we would so be doing it.

17. on 30 May 2007 at 5:50 am

    You’re not bitter about this, are you?

18. on 30 May 2007 at 2:23 pm

    I’m sorry! I promise never to do it again!

19. on 30 May 2007 at 2:24 pm

    Wait, it wasn’t me? LOL

20. on 30 May 2007 at 6:26 pm

    Amy: Me too!!! And the edge seems to be getting closer more often every day!

    Fab: Doing what? *halo*

    Amanda: Not at allllllllll!
    Attila: Oh Lord! Tell me you are not like that, puh-lease!

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