Oct 28
Restless Bitch Syndrome
I am going thru the motions… Motions I go thru in my life every now and then… I’ve been hitting rock bottom over the past weeks in stress level. Life in every aspect has just been too busy, mostly at the office but also privately there’s been a lot going on. Not emotionally, just loads of chores, school stuff for The Kid, organizational problems and other shit with The Ex, working extra jobs and juggling finances… I’ve told it all before, sometimes it just gets to breaking point and I get tired of all that shit… Physically tired…
Emotionally though, I’m bored… It amazes me how you can be physically tired, just from working days being too long, having too little hours to do everything you need to do, and still be emotionally bored… My life is busy on every level, but it’s not changing much… There’s The Kid, whom I love to bits, my job, that I love doing, my family, that are really important in my life, but it seems like the past year has been quietly bubbling by… Like the past 5 years have been… In my own little personal world, my very personal personal life, nothing is happening. There’s no sparks flying, there’s no major changes, it’s serene and unchanged… As the year is drawing to a close and my 38th birthday drawing near, I can do nothing else but conclude that in that aspect of my life, I’m bored… And I have been for a long time…
And The DutchBitch being bored in her personal personal life, is no good… It’s making me into a Restless Bitch… When The Kid is with his dad and I am home alone, nowhere to go, I get restless… and trust me: a Restless Bitch will end up doing Stupid Things… I can just feel it happening inside me…
My circle of friends consists mainly of people in relationships, busy with their own lives, and though I do go out to visit friends and such every once in a while, many weekends pass me by with an incredible level of boredom. I do fun things at times, sure, but deep down, it’s just quiet and too fucking serene… I find myself freakin’ out in my appartment contemplating the stupidest things. If I could afford it I could just drive over to the airport, get on a plane to wherever and just go… I feel like I could just scream! Something needs to happen in my life, whatever, or I may explode of restlessness…
Yes, I know! I dó realize that I am not alone and that boredom can happen to anyone, single or in a relationship, man or woman, children or no children, living in Dutchyland or wherever… I am not sitting here feeling sorry for myself, I am not stating that I am the only one going thru this motion. I am not. I am just concluding a disturbing fact:
The DutchBitch is Restless and if that lasts any longer it’s gonna go all apeshit! I am not great at being restless… I am prone to make a stupid decision or whatever soon… one to the level that could potentially fuck up my life… There’s no particular thing I have in mind… I can just feel me leaning towards whatever decision that will land me in to an incredible level of shit… Being restless sucks…
A Restless Bitch is a Dangerous Bitch…
Sheesh! I know I should’ve just gotten on a plane and attend Avi’s Halloween party… Maybe that would’ve eased me down… Maybe not…
Somebody stop save me!
A long time ago, I remember being bored and looking the part, when an older mentor type said “Do SOMETHING, even if it’s wrong!”. It is very possible to be busy and bored at the same time. Busy involves the body, boredom involves the mind. Think of something you sorta (or really) want to do, that doesn’t involve alot of planning/money/time. Legal or illegal, moral or immoral- anything as long as it makes you feel alive! Good Luck, and don’t get caught unless you want to….
Buff: Thanks Babe. And ehm… IF I get caught I’ll just tell them “Buff told me to do it” and I’ll call you to bail me out
if i ever win the lottery, i’ll keep you in mind.
There has to be something non-self-destructive a person could do when faced with this. Whenever I’ve gotten to that place I either just read or drink unGodly amounts of alcohol. Reading is learning and alcohol… is a food so not self-destructive at all! See? There are tons of options!
Tattooed Mama: LOL, yeah, maybe I should get a tattoo to calm down, btw?
RW: There are many things to do like that, but that is not the thing. The thing is that feeling like this I am usually prone to make that one bad choice… It’s not in my hands usually, you see… I’m crazy like that… If it were in my control, I would probably not be feeling like this…
yeah…that sounds familar…
I say instead of trying to stop yourself from doing something bad, just embrace it…who knows maybe that one “bad” thing is just what you need to not feel bored right now.
Either that or maybe try a puzzle.
Why would you call yourself a bitch? Do you have low self-esteem?
The last time I was a restless bitch, I made the decision to move out of the country and relocate to Dutchyland. In the meantime, before I get there…if you get too restless, then hop a plane and come to Orlando! There is loads of trouble we can find here and I think your fab fiance isn’t too far away.
Katherine: Oopps… You too?
JQ: Hmmm, a puzzle huh? OK, I could try that…
Scott: IF that is a SERIOUS question coming from you I guess you have no idea… Why would you think so? That would be your perception maybe?
ThatBitchChick: Hon, you knów if I could afford it, I would be RIGHT THERE!!! Fucking up the whole of Orlando with ya!
I know I’d be much more bored if it weren’t for planning the wedding, I like how much it keeps me busy and my creative juices flowing.
Robin: OK, wedding planning… Any candidates!?!?
What do you mean by candidates?
Robin: LOL it was just a shout out for some guy to propose to me so I can get busy wedding planning too!
I wish I could help. I have done the ‘bad choice’ and thank God it never bit me on the ass payback-wise! I hope something(one) comes up soon for you!
Yeah, I get it… no solutions, unfortunately, but you’re not alone. Hope you feel better without ending in a bad spot!
Metalmom: Me too, cuz I have a feeling the one I land myself in, whatever it is, is gonna bite me in the ass…
Tug: I probably will, it’s just the restless feeling is driving me nuts…
I am too a BITCH and it has absolutely nothing to do with my self esteem. I just love being a bitch when the need calls for it.
I am convinced the entire world is imploding. Sorry you’re restless. I think Avi’s party would have left you feeling more restless. That’s what happened to me when I got back from vacation, which included seeing him in person.
IT’S NEARLY A FULL MOON!
I am SO there! My biggest restless bitch syndrome is the neverending chores that seem to face me day to day. And all the yelling that goes along with it!
I have one kid who cleans up after himself meticulously, the other who has to use a brand new glass every time he’s thirsty (about 20 times a day) and can’t be bothered to even place it anywhere near the sink, much less in the dishwasher.
grrrr. I’m getting all pissed off all over again. LOL
Well, remember that there are a lot of people who would give anything for a little serenity in their lives. But maybe you just need to focus a little on what you can do to change things, and break the cycle a little. Sometimes a small change can have a radical result.
In other circumstances I’d have told you to jump on a plane and come enjoy London for a few days, but somehow I suspect such an invitation would break a cycle or two over here instead ;-)
Bobbie: Amen!!!
Poppy: OK, consider Avi’s party stricken from the “possibles” list
Xadness: Yeah, that must be it…
Attila: I can see you totally get it! Exactly what I mean!
WDKY: Serenity is something different from boredom and restlessness though… I like serenity, but I hate this… It’s something inside me that I can’t control… All small changes I could and are in my power I have made and they didn’t change it… It’s just an inexplicable feeling… And again: trips require money… unfortunately… Oh well, maybe for the best, lol
Oh ok…I’m a tad slow. Hey, the bakery I may go with is called The Dutch Kitchen
Maybe I should come visit you?
Robin: That must be a great bakery. Must be, lol
Lynda: Oh please do. You can take the Restless Bitch to the multiple level McDonalds in Amsterdam!
Well any place that offers a raspberry mousse is good in my book.
I would like to get fritjas from the street vendor also. And maybe see the Anne Frank house again. But I do like the canal tours.
I can bore you with stuff you probably see all the time. ;)