Mar 28
Which part of “No”..?!
Remember… a mont ago? When I had my birthday and I turned 37 23? I didn’t have a huge birthday celebration. I didn’t for various reasons… First of all my finances don’t allow me to, second of all the size of my appartment doesn’t allow me to, and third I didn’t really feel like it anyway. Not for any particular reason, as mostly I am always up for a party, but this time… nah…
The other day I ran into one of my MMF’s …
Married Male Friend: “Hey Girl. Howyadoin’?”
DutchBitch: “I’m fine, how’s life at your end?”
MMF: “Uhm… it’s ok… Same old same old, you know. Busy with the business, not getting any… So uhm… how come we weren’t invited to your birthday party?”
DutchBitch: “Nobody was invited to my birthdayparty. I didn’t have a birthdayparty”
MMF: “So you didn’t celebrate it at all?
DutchBitch: “Well, just with The Kid and my Mom, sister and BIL”
MMF: “So when can I come over and “ce-le-bra-te” your birthday with you? Hmm?” *wink wink*
DutchBitch: “You are very welcome to come over and celebrate my birthday with me, you are however not welcome to come over and “ce-le-bra-te” it with me”
MMF: “Oh come on! I am not getting any at home… you are single… we could have some fun!”
DutchBitch: “Look, we’ve been over this a kazillion times before. There is no “WE” in this particular issue. We are NOT getting it on together”
MMF: “Oh don’t be a spoilsport! We’ve both been on a dry spell for ages”
DutchBitch: “Me being single and on a dry spell for years does not necessarily mean that I jump at the first guy that offers himself on a platter, Hon. I DO have some standards. Besides, you are in a relationship. I’ve said “No” before and I will say it again: NO”
MMF: “Well, can I at least come over and bring you the “pre-sent” I have for you” *wink wink*
DutchBitch: “No Thanks. I think I can do without that particular “pre-sent”
MMF: “Oh come on. You are a hot single woman. You have no idea how much I want you. Nobody needs to know”
DutchBitch: *sigh* *rolling eyes*
MMF: “What are you rollin’ your eyes for, girl!”
DutchBitch: “Because I am still baffled at the fact of how little “NO” really means to a guy when he’s after something and set to get it”
MMF: “And I will get it! In the end I will get it”
DutchBitch: “Well, all I can say is: don’t hold your breath. Say HI to MrsMMF for me. Tell her her man is a dickhead”
MMF: *blank stare*
I’ve asked you before, I know, but I am asking you again: scroll over to the sidebar and please check for me…
Is there “All Balled & Chained Fucktards Line Up Here” on my forehead?
HAHAHAHA! I love the diagram!
I think it is really sad that he is so untrustworthy. Maybe he should try these tactics on his wife. “Honey, I got a pre-sent for you!!” Then he might get some.
Ugh.
It’s kinda your fault, though, isn’t it? For being so freaking gorgeous, I mean. How can any mortal man resist your feminine wiles?
SOME men don’t care if there’s a sign or not…what would he do if you threatened to tell the wifey?
I think you should tell Wife of MMF. No, that’s cruel. Does he really think you would all of a sudden say OK, Let’s go. Actually, that’s probably what you should do. Next time he makes comments like that, tell him the kid is with his father and come on over. And if he does show, tell him he’s an ass.
I wouldn’t call that guy a friend. He doesn’t think very much of you if he thinks that you are so hard up that you will disregard your morals and the fact that he is a married man.
I know I was invited, but sorry I couldn’t make it. And it’s true, I did need to know.
The boob scanning area of the diagram was missing.
Can’t help a guy for trying…
Why do men think once you are single you need them????????
Really glad you can laugh about it.. I love your sense of humor.. It keeps you y oung and beautiful.. BTW, please excuse my for not wishing you belated birthday greetings.. Happy Birthday sweety..
Wishing you all the best and more.. You still do not look a year older than 21.. We both should go jumpen soon ;) Is your son teaching you jumpen? (you can download it from google and youtube, the tutorial videos) hehe Wishing you a wonderful day..xxx
Lynda: Yeah, he might! ;-)
Finn: Ugh indeed!
Karl: I wouldn’t know as I am not a man… I guess if you say so…
Tug: Most probably shit his pants (if he’s still got them on)
Libragirl: I think wifey knows what she is dealing with. I might set him up for disaster sometime. Good idea ;-)
Shelli: Yeah, and I could never be THAT hard up!
Nobody: Hmm… would that be a large brain area? And well… if you are on a need to know basis, that’s good to know…
Peety: Can’t help a guy for trying, but he’s been going on and on and on for 5 years now… Ugh! Thanks Hon! :-)
Is this the same guy each time, or do ALL your MMFs want to sex you up?
Fab: I have different Male Mother Fuckers a.k.a. Male Married Friends that try this on me… It’s the story of my life and getting very discouraging…
All I know is that if you did want to do it with him, I don’t think you’d be discussing it here….
Buffalodickdy: Well, than you’ve got me all wrong! Because I would…
You should ask him to hold his hand out, spit in it and then tell him that is the closest he is going to get to having sex with you.
Is it too harsh to call that guy a jackass? I’d take the “F” out of MMF. He doesn’t sound like much of a friend.
MC: OMG! Why didn’t I think of that!
Jane: No, not harsh. Actually that is what I called him. And the MMF now stands for Married Mother Fucker…
Sounds like a typical man. ;)