The Dutch Files

So… yesterday early p.m., during a scarce moment of relaxation, chatting on G-Talk to Avi on the endlessly important and exciting subjects of the licking of testicles and waxing the hairs of ‘m… and chatting on G-Talk with Britt on the issues of hatred and working for Avi Britt declining my request to chat on G-Talk because she was too busy bringing in money for Avi her wonderful boss… I incidently switched screens to check some office email and check out the schedules of some of my bosses…

Hey! I am a woman, multitasking comes naturally to us! Britt was replying to comments while working at the office and chatting with me at the same time!

And right then and there I had one of those heart stopping secretary experiences when I checked The Chief’s schedule for the day…

I am not in the office on Wednesdays because The Kid only has school in the morning and there’s no daycare available in the afternoon. The Chief always used to work either at home or in Amsterdam with one of his colleague professors, so he would be out of the Leiden office as well. Until recently, when he started working in Leiden on Wednesdays again and his Wednesday schedule is starting to get packed with appointments…

So there I was browsing thru his schedule for no particular reason and there it was:

1.00-2.00 p.m. meeting with X (Leiden)
2.00-3.00 p.m. meeting with X, Y, Z (Utrecht)

*crickets*

*blank stare*

*rising blood pressure*

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

I had made a COLOSSAL mistake in planning a meeting in Utrecht (about 40 miles away) right after a meeting in Leiden… And by the time I noticed, it was already too late…

I txt-ed The Chief: “OMFG! I just saw that I made a HUGE mistake in your schedule for today. I am so SORRY!”

*no response*

Being a secretary ànd a perfectionist… this kinda shit… heart stopping… It creates a knot in my stomach of a magnitute you cannot imagine…

I sent an email to all participants of the meeting -some of whom had to travel even further than The Chief to get to Utrecht- and grovelled and grovelled (my knees are still bearing the carpet burns), telling them it was all my colossal fault, I was so so sorry and next time at the meeting I would make sure there was cake to make up for the disaster just a little bit.

Yeah, futile stuff compared to famin, terrorism, and all that shit… I know…

And yes, my heart is back to its normal rate now thanks… Anyone got any band aids for my pretty lill’ knees?

You should be glad there is at least something remotely like a post up here…

I had to have my guide dog type this shit up!

Cuz I think I was pretty much robbed from my 20/20 vision by Avi’s post of yesterday…

[DISCLAIMER: DutchBitch will take NO responsibility for clicking of link above. Clicking of link is at own risk]

I’m not sure if you saw it, but if you did, you probably can’t read this anyway…

So what’s the use… right?

I’ll just stop wasting my time here and wait for my eyesight and yours to fully recover.

See ya tomorrow!… I hope…

OK… so even though Lucy has been great to me (huuuuuge big muah smooch), hosting my blog on her hosting account… I got restless and thought it was time I ventured out on my own and got crackin’ at the bloghosting thing…

I now went thru 6 of the 10 stages of FTP/SQL… What’s that? You have never heard of those stages? I am pretty sure everyone venturing out into webhosting for the first time -without having extensive training or experience in the field- has gone thru those very same stages:

1. Excitement - afterall, you are starting something new and exciting!
2. Boldness - you knów you can do it! others have done it before you, and you’ve lived thru worse and more intimidating challenges in your life, pffftt!…
3. Recklessness - you sign up, log in and start doing your shit… you don’t know what you are doing, but you’re doing it!
4. Angst - you take a good look at that controlpanel you just logged into… and it’s pretty much freaking you out, what were you thinking!
5. Daze and confusion - you’ve browsed the controlpanel tried some stuff, tried some more stuff, and you have no clue what you are supposed to have accomplished by that… are you seeing what you are supposed to be seeing?
6. Doubt - OMFG! this is nevah gonna work out, you can’t do it! you think… right? or maybe… fuck it! you should be able to do it! try again… or not… or should you…
7. Recklessness - OK, you are getting pissed now! you delete all the amateuristic shit you’ve just done and kick yourself in the butt. you will do this shit, and prevail! you are all over the place (read: controlpanel, FTPfiles and SQL databases)…
8. Confidence - you started all over again, now actually reading the instructions and trying out new stuff, you’ve deleted all your previous amateur shit and well, even if you say so yourself, it’s starting to look pretty good…
9. Contentment - yup, you are almost there… the tweaking and installing you have done has worked out. now “all” that is left to do is move your domain out here… (a temporary setback to phase 4 on this occassion is a regular occuring issue)…
10. Pride - you have done it! your domain is up and running… you are the King/Queen of self-induced webhosting… (well, as long as nothing goes apeshit… then you are back to phase 4 again…)

I am kinda in the latter stage of phase 7 now, bordering on phase 8… I think the moving of the URL is gonna set me back to phase 4 temporarily but I am pretty sure that in the end (might be April/May, heh) I will make it… I think… Kinda… Sorta… Shit! I think I just regressed back into phase 6… Maybe…

Oh well, there must be light at the end of the tunnel there… I think… There MUST be…

Last night at about 8.00 p.m.

DutchBitch: “OK Hon, bedtime! Get all your stuff to your room and put it away there. Then have a shower, take your meds, brush your teeth and if you are quick enough about it, we’ll still have time to read a chapter of your book”

The Kid: “Hmmmm…”

DutchBitch: “Ehm.. hello! Earth to The Kid: bedtime!”

The Kid: “Oh really? weeeeehhh…”

DutchBitch: “Come on, get a move on. The more time you spend gettting ready the less time we’ll have reading”

*flashes to bedroom, kinda sorta puts away his stuff, then lingers around in his room*

DutchBitch: “Hon! Get a move on!”

*The Kid snaps out of it and moves himself to the bathroom*

…

DutchBitch: “Are you done yet under that shower?”

The Kid: “Aaaalmoooosttt”

DutchBitch: “Don’t forget to take your meds and brush your teeth”

*The Kid rolls eyes*

The Kid: “No, I won’t!”

…

The Kid: “Done!”

DutchBitch: “Ehm… your PJ’s are inside out… and did you do the meds and teeth?”

The Kid: “Ehm… BRB”

*sigh*

...

DutchBitch: “Sheesh babe! How long can it pos-si-bly take to frigging take your meds and brush your teeth?”

The Kid: [inaudible cuz of teethbrushing]

…

The Kid: “Now I am reaaaaally done”

DutchBitch: “Good, sit down and I’ll read a chapter”

The Kid: “OK wait, I gotta get something…”

DutchBitch: “NO! Sit down! It’s almost past your bedtime now and I am tired and I still have shitloads to do tonight, so now sit down and I’ll read ór go to bed straight away”

*The Kid sits down and we read a chapter from “Dragonrider” by Cornelia Funke (great book!)*

…

DutchBitch: “OK, that’s it. Now off to bed, sweetie”

The Kid: “Mom, what do you have to do tonight?”

DutchBitch: “I still gotta finish this ironing I’ve been doing this p.m. and there’s another load in the dryer; I need to clean the fishtank; water the plants; clean the appartment; shorten the legs of a pair of your trousers; fix a hole in one of my sweaters; do some paperwork for the office; things like that”

The Kid: “Wow! I am glad I am not you”

DutchBitch: “Yeah, you’ll be glad about that. Now to bed”

The Kid: Weeeeellll, come to think of it, I am not glad. Because grown ups are allowed so much more than kids. I wish I was a grown up”

DutchBitch: “That’s true. But then with a lot of privileges come a lot of obligations and responsibilities too. Sure, we are allowed more than kids, but we also have to dó more than kids”

The Kid: “Hmm, yeah… maybe I am glad afterall. Goodnight Mom”

*crickets*

OMFG! Eeewwwwwww… Yuck!!! Double Yuck…… Ick!

I sounded like a grown up responsible adult there for a minute… Holy Crap!

*sucks thumb*