The Dutch Files

Well, their commercials are anyway.

Yes! U heard me right. The Dutch Tax Service broadcasts FUNNY commercials on Dutch TV

Here’s one. I am sure you won’t grasp the whole thing in detail but let me paint the overall picture for you:

The van has Tax Service employees and they’re preparing one of their colleagues to go out into the most expensive shopping street of Dutchyland, the P.C. Hooftstraat in Amsterdam to announce that the Tax Service is checking this years tax returns extra strict for investments, savings accounts and 2nd houses… Too funny!

Yeah, I know. The Dutch are Crazy, but hey… What’s new, right?

WTF is it about Dutch convertible drivers and the first fucking ray of sunshine of the year?!?!?!

First of all, owning a convertible in Dutchyland is friggin’ useless. It rains every other day over here and even if it is a completely overcastless clear fucking hot day, a huge rainstorm can surprise you within minutes. Over the past week we’ve been having the first clear weather of the year. And I am tellin’ ya, the first fucking sprig of sunshine and they’re out there: convertible drivers…

WTF is that all about?!?!?!?! It can’t be about driving it comfortably cuz despite those rays of sunshine it’s fucking cold outside! It can’t be about being original cuz about every convertible owner is out there on the roads! And it sure as hell can’t be about coolnezzz cuz they are either pácked in several layers of warm clothes, a ski jacket, scarfs covering their whole faces -granted some of them manage to have some cewl sunglasses peep outta there- gloves, and hats, caps and whatever else they could find. And if they haven’t, they look like frigging smurfs, having turned blue from the cold. I am telling ya! It’s seriously fucked up to be driving a convertible in Dutchyland in February…

I’ll come with ya in a convertible when it’s warm enough to drive it comfortably and when I can sit in there with the top down (THE top down, not MY top down, sheesh! get your minds out of the gutter) without freezing my nipples off, and have my hair wave in the wind without it turning into icicles and breaking off…

Now get the fuck out of your insane convertible cars and put them away for that one or two great summer days that might turn up in a few months… That’s what it’s for, right? Right? I mean, some things are best experienced ice and ice cold -like vodka- but driving a convertible is not one of them…

Well, not really, but the stuff that is in my drawer currently kinda is… For some inexplicable reason I felt the urge to go thru my drawer and check out the status of The DutchBitch lingerie… It’s sad, that’s all I can say… I can safely say that I’ve hardly bought anything new in a long time and well, the stuff that is there, it’s looking “tired”…

I can’t believe I’ve let it come to this! The DutchBitch with a drawer of worn out lingerie!!!

Ya know, cuz, I am not the kinda gal to “just” get myself lingerie for a guy. It’s something that I enjoy wearing myself very much. I like the feel of some classy lingerie on my body. I like the way it looks on me. Yeah, sue me, I love looking at myself in the mirror wearing lingerie. I like the way lingerie makes me feel: S.E.X.Y. I wear it most of the time, there’s hardly any “regular” underwear in my drawer. I like being in the office, wearing my regular office clothes and knowing there’s a hot number under there.

So now I am left with the feeling my lingerie drawer needs serious “updating”. Most of the stuff I have still looks kinda ok, although my beautiful black bustier seems to have passed away (crap!), but I am tired of it. I need myself summin’ new! So I’ll be off doing research today on line to see if I can find some sexy, yet affordable, lingerie. Now, any of you girls (and probably most of you guys) know that -hot and sexy lingerie- and -affordable- usually don’t go together, but I’ll give it a shot anyway… I have a broad range of interest in lingerie. I don’t have a set style. I like the cute romantic stuff, the black or red hot sexy lacey stuff, and oh well, I’ve been known to do the odd crotchless nippleshowing number too [STFU! Yeah, I can be a total slut. Deal with it! It's not like you didn't already know thát]. Whatever I wear all depends on my mood of the day (or night) really… I’m in a hot sexy mood right now… I want NEED to feel a new hot sexy lacey number on my skin again, SOON! Besides, I need something to match the black Fuck Me Shoes that I decided to get, heh…

I’m on a quest!!! That paycheck better come in on Monday cuz I need it!!! I’ll just not eat for a week, or 2, and spend it on lingerie… Oh, and for all of you that are coming to my B-day party on March 1 and have been badgering me for gift ideas.. I have 3 words for you: lingerie gift certificate… Just sayin’… Now you can all get off my back on the present issue, ‘mkey?

“I have 10 pairs of shoes. One for each day of the week“

Samantha Fox - 80’s pop icon (her boobs mainly)

“It’s clear it’s a budget schedule. There’s a lot of numbers in it“

George W. Bush

“My party demands that all fire exstinguishers in future are tested 10 days before every fire“

City Council member, London, UK

“I often go to countries at the other side of the Atlantic. Like Canada for instance“

Britney Spears

• Thank God it’s Friday…
• and Thank God… I have the day off from the office!!! Yay Me!
• I couldn’t resist doing some (early) Spring cleaning in the appartment earlier this week. I’m a Maniac, Maaaaaniac, cleaning tha floor! But it’s shining like it never did before! (OK, so I wasn’t sweating and jumping up and down in the legwarmers, but ya get my drift)
• The Kid said he didn’t see the difference after the Spring cleaning… He assured me that that is probably because I always keep the house very clean anyway and that’s why he didn’t see the difference *blank stare* Shit! He’s alréady mastered the art of buttering up a woman!
• Spring IS actually early in Dutchyland: the daffodils are already peeping out from under the soil and blooming.
• The Kid is off for a skiing holiday with his dad. I won’t be seeing him until March 4! Holy shit!
• I’ve been thinking about my dad a lot. February 21 it was twelve years since he suddenly passed away. It feels freaky, it being such a long time already while at times it feels like yesterday. February 15 he would’ve turned 65. He would have retired from his job as a headmaster on that day, had he still been alive.
• I am trying to prepare myself for Wednesday… Trying to get used to the idea of turning thirty*bleep* years old…
• I got 11 entries in for the DutchBitch-Worship-A-Looza contest! The judges are in retreat now to decide whose best… Haven’t seen any white smoke come from the tower yet, but I expect to see it any day now.
• A girlfriend came to me with a batch of pumps she got at retail. She had two pair of them in my size. I can’t decide… There might be no other solution than to get them both. Whaddayathink?

• Did I already say “Thank God It’s Friday?”… I am glad it is, and I will spend it SO lazy!!! Hell Yeah!!! Well, ok, mainly cuz I haven’t got a dime to my name until payday on Monday, but what-evah…
• And last but not least: go say “Hi” to B. She left her blog All Night Org behind and can now be found at Dreaming In The Dark. Spread the word and adjust ur feed readers and blogrolls…
• EXTRA BULLET 3 p.m.: I just got my first birthdaycard in the mail, from Andi from Sans Pantaloons!!! Thanks!!! It’s hilarious!

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!