The Dutch Files

If you have any urges to bitch, nag or moan at me? Or ask useless shitty questions? Or tell me a boring story about the pits that is your life? Right now… Don’t even THINK of going there…

Don’t say I didn’t warn you… Cuz I did..

It’s MONDAY for Fuck’s sake…

More importantly its the first 2008 Summertime Monday…

So yeah… deal with it… I’m a fucked up bitch today… STFU! I mean even móre fucked up than usual. Sheesh!

Mental note to self: buy new alarm clock

I would advise you not to fuck with me today and e.s.p.e.c.i.a.l.l.y not tomorrow morning when my alarm clock does it’s thing…

Last night Dutchyland finally went into European Summertime again, which means that at 2 a.m. the clock was set forward 1 hour. I fucking hate that, robbing me from an hour of sleep! WTF is that all about! Yeah, STFU! So I suck at adjusting to summertime. I can’t do that shit. I am pretty positive summertime was invented for the sole purpose of fucking with MY brain… I’ll be suffering from summertime jetlag for at least the next 3-4 days and it sucks. I know a certain someone who is now gonna totally be belching with laughing at me and tell me I am the biggest wimp in the universe as he deals with that on a weekly basis, but hey! At least I can stand needles, babe! Heh…

I am not a certain part of the day person perse. Not a particular morning person nor a particular evening person. I like all parts of the day. I just fucking hate the mornings after summer time adjust! Especially the first Mondaymorning. I mean, WTF? My alarm clock will be going off at 5.30 tomorrow! Technically it’s 6.30 as usual when it rings, but ya know… you and I… my mind… and my body… we all know that in reality it will be fucking 5.30 a.m.!!!

Ugh…

Saw this pass by on several blogs in the past days. And you know that I just hád to give it a try at some point, right?

I didn’t see anyones meter register a result as “badass” as mine…

I don’t know whether to feel proud or ashamed…

I’ll go for proud right now. Fuck Ashamed!

This upcoming week’s DutchBitch’s Bitch is Clearcut. To be exact, cut and clear: Tall Man Molly from the blog Clearcut. Tall Man Molly is a newbie in my blogging world. I had not actually read him before he asked me to pimp him, but now that I have I can clearly and cutting-edgely say that he’s worth going over there in the righthand sidebar and clicking his thumbnail to go see his blog Clearcut!

He actually úsed to write Tall Timberz, but apparently he lost his password to that particular blog -WTF?- and decided to cut the trees his losses and continue on a new blog, the current one. He’s in his mid 30’s (sheesh! a younger man! ugh…), married with 5 kids (wow!) and he’s got a thing about logging, judging from the references in his blog(s).

And right now… he’s kinda feeling like a truck ran over him, cuz apparently flu is raging thru the Tall Man Molly household! Pffttt, what’s new? Flu has been taking the blogosphere by storm, so it was only a matter of time for even the Tall Man to go down! Ha! Ok, I’ll be kind: you can go over to bring him a bowl of chicken soup… if you like…

Oh, and the cut tree mess over there? Well, ya know… I hád to do some “research” for the pimping post right? Well, that and umm… I happened to have accidentally brought my DutchBitch machete on my trip to Clearcut… Hey! It’s called Clearcut! I didn’t know what to expect arriving out there. And ok… um… err… I kinda went crazy over there, waving that machete ’round… So take one achorn or two and plant ‘m over there… I guess in some 20 years from now the forest over there will be fine again, right?

And in the event that you might run into one of my thigh high stiletto heeled boots in there, drop it off on your way back here, thanks!… I lost one… ya know… going wild in the forest… nothing like the great outdoors, hey? Heh…

Tall Man Molly was the last one on my list begging for it requesting to be pimped out. So here’s your chance to get your foot in the Pimpin’ quarters door! If you feel like being pimped out, being DutchBitch’s bitch for the week, check THIS out and email me! Old, young, known or unknown to me, experienced blogger or newbie. Don’t matter to me! I’m the whory kinda pimp!

Have a great Saturday and: Timberrrr!!!

OK… so I would luv to meet allaya…

Y’all are also very welcome to come over to see the bulbfields…

And the Keukenhof…

And enjoy the other perks of the bulbfield area…

Hell! You are all welcome to visit…

Just DO NOT put your fucking mobile home in front of my appartmentbuilding and stay over there for days…

First of all… It’s i.l.l.e.g.a.l. in Dutchyland… U can’t park your shit just on any parking spot, especially not in suburbian area like this, and set up camp out there. Sheesh!

Taking up parking space, emptying your chemical toilet in our sewer…

Having your cooking fumes work their way up to my window…

And ESPECIALLY do NOT tell me to park my car a few meters from the back of your fucking vehicle, cuz otherwise you will not be able to get your stuff out of the back of it…

Doing that is nothing less then playing with your front teeth…

Just sayin’