Mar 03
Bald Bitch
That full head of hair there in the sidebar? Gone… My scalp has parted with virtually all the hair on there this very morning… Why? Cuz on the way to the office this a.m. I was behind and/or next to one of those drivers with a so called “distorted car image”…
I drove off from the parking lot next to my appartment, which is smackdab in the middle of bulbfield country, just in enough time to be able to make it to the office… Hey! STFU! I was tired and it was hard getting up. It’s Monday, for God’s sake! And I had to cut and pack up the brownies that I had baked on Sunday to hand out around the office as a late B-day treat… That’s the kinda wonderful bitch I am to my colleagues… Ya know…
Aaaaanyway… Just half a km from my appartment there she slit in line and got in front of me: Distorted Car Image Bitch (DCIB). She didn’t seem that bad at the time, but she would soon show her true face… It happened when an agricultural vehicle drove up in front of her… We get that a lot in the town I live in. It’s bublfield country and season has just started so the bulb farmers are busy… However, they are also very “social drivers”… they realize that their vehicle is slow and whenever they can they will scoot up to the far right of the lane and let cars pass…
Now here is where the DCIB’s failure to realize what kinda car she is driving comes in. This syndrome, the Distorted Car Image, is frequently found in women driving the so called “stamps on wheels”. Nothing against those, I drive one myself… but then I am aware about the size of my car… and I drive accordingly…
This woman kept hanging behind the agricultural vehicle… while she could bloody well pass it… There was plenty of room to pass and here is where the syndrome comes in. The DCI sufferers apparently seem to think their car width is the size of a big ass truck! IT IS NOT! YOU ARE DRIVING A TINY TINY CAR AND THE VEHICLE IN FRONT OF YOU IS LEAVING PLENTY OF ROOM FOR AT LEAST TWO OF YOURS TO PASS!!!
*catching breath*
Finally, finally, 10 minutes into the trip, she managed to work up the courage to pass the vehicle and we’re off again… Another 10 minutes later we reach the highway and as she is not picking up speed, I pass her and get on. She follows behind me. She then begins to pick up speed, moves into the left lane, passes me and then… to my total amazement, this woman, who apparently thought her car was to wide to pass the agricultural vehicle, has no clue that there is in fact several meters of car behind her from the part where she is sitting… and acts like the back of her car reaches only about as far as 2 inches behind her chair and CUTS ME OFF!!! after passing me. Then, after moving back into the left lane, she passes the car in front of me and CUTS HIM OFF TOO when moving back into the right lane… and I see her doing it again and again! GODDAMMIT BITCH! Try to grasp at least sóme of the concept that your car is far longer than it’s wide!!!
So I ask you, DCIB: Please! When u arrive at your place of business… Take some time to walk around your car. Hell, take measurements… Imprint it in your brain cuz next time thís bitch runs into you and you pull this shit again… HER stampsize car is gonna run you over in all ways possible…
Just so you know… Bitch!
I guess she is just used to a SHOPPING cart … only something in front of you.
JustMeTalking’s last blog post..Moving Out!
Do they allow drive-by shootings over there? That’s a hobby you should totally take up!
Mr Fabulous’s last blog post..Cleavage Contest!
You know, they say Florida drivers are some of the most horrible. Well nobody seems to take into account that about 90% of the people who live here came from somewhere else (like New York and Canada) I think those drivers (in NY) are some of the most aggressive drivers I have ever witnessed!
The “melting pot” called America has more people that can’t read English traffic signs , but have drivers’ licenses than any other place on the planet!
drive-by shootings here at Holland … HEY … we are the country with all oppertunities … when you are gay … YOU can get married here, want DRUGS … come here. I am suuuurreee they have drive by shootings here soon too.
JustMeTalking’s last blog post..Moving Out!
JustMeTalking: I don’t think she was used to anything at all, really
Fab: Hmmm… that could be a whole career for you when you come over here…
AndiMAC: *mental note: do NOT move to NY*
Buff: Well, but this has nothing to do with traffic signs, now does it?
JustMeTalking: Yeah!
I bet she’s from Illinois, those fuckers drive like that all the time.
I always wanted to install some machine guns behind the front grill just for such situations. It would give a whole new meaning to drive by shootings.
Nobody™’s last blog post..Vacation time…
Nobody: Can you make me a front grill like that too! Pleaaaasseeee
Do I have a stamp size car? I have no idea.
Robin’s last blog post..I Am A Dork Because…
Robin: Well, I know I do… LOL - Fiat Panda…
I think you should totally follow her to work and then stick feminine products (ie, tampons, pads) all over her car. Or saran wrap it or duct tape it. That’s my suggestion.
Shelli’s last blog post..Caution: Gory Laptop Pictures
I hate chickenshit drivers!
Finn’s last blog post..100 Things About Me… Part One
Shelli:
Finn: Me toooooooooooo!!!
Nothing worse than getting behind a person like that.
Lynda’s last blog post..Life’s a Beach
Why didn’t you just bump her little car off to the side?
metalmom’s last blog post..Monday Moaning-How Would You Feel?
Lynda: Na-ah
Metalmom: Ha! I am not damaging my cuty stamp on wheels for that!