The Dutch Files

It’s Saturday again, it’s friggin 07.46 and I am awake. I am friggin tired, have nowhere to be for another 7 hours, and still I am awake. Well, you knów what Saturday on The Dutch Files means: Dutch-A-Pimpin’ time! And as I happen to be awake I guess there’s no time like the present to introduce you to this weeks’ bitch:

She’s a stay at home Mom who takes care of her 3 kids, 2 of whom have diabetes. She does catering and professional baking for the needy (read: folks who can’t bake shit themselves and pay her to do it for them). And more importantly: she is blonde, she is fabulous… She is BlondeFabulous from BlondeFabuloCity!

Yup, check it out, she’s in there, the Dutch-A-Pimpin’ quarters out there and she’s mah bitch-o-tha-week. There, to your right… No, more right… the far right sidebar… the thumbnail… yeaaaaah… there you go!

She’s a busy bitch, in between having just moved to a new house and doing carpet cleaning, painting the bathroom, taking care of the kids, crying at their Kindergarten graduation, working cake orders, being a Mom, being a wife (to a yummy hubby, one of her entries in the Lather * Rinse * Repeat Contest shows, heh), and being herself. God I hope she manages to squeeze that in there, being herself. Cuz the chick rawks! But then I am pretty sure she does. She ís blonde and fabulous, afterall.

So do your weekly duty and go over to see BlondeFabuloCity, leave a comment please and tell her I sent ya. Then get your asses back here. Cuz BlondeFabulous has already sent in 3 entries for the Lather * Rinse * Repeat Contest and many of you yet have to enter even your first one! Get crackin! I need tons of entries, so use your weekend wisely and make sure that number of entries explodes over the next few days!

Please, pretty please? (OK, you didn’t see that, me begging… what you really saw and felt was my stiletto heel in your backside… m’key?)

I was IM-ing with Jill the other day and we had one of those conversations that ultimately lands into a certain subject thru all kinds of weird “links” in stories… I am not sure how this one came about. I think it sorta went from bad blind date I once had, to adult guys worshipping Fitty Sent (yah, I knów that’s not how you spell it, but that’s how I say it), to posters in living rooms, to the movie 9 1/2 weeks…

So we ended up at “9 1/2 weeks”, the movie. I remember seeing that movie the first time ’round vividly. I was 16 years old and júst old enough to get into the cinema to see it. I think I went to see it with a few g/f’s. And seriously… for the 80’s… WOW! Blushes on cheeks… What am I saying? I think my head turned like a tomato and I wanted to look away but then really I didn’t… Hell Naw!

There is one scene though that looked totally particularly hot in 9 1/2 weeks that stuck into my mind. The Fridge Scene. And specifically the part where he lathers her all up in honey… And starts stroking her inner thighs

*THUMP*

Sorry, I fainted from the graphic memory there for a second… Anyway, it looks totally totally hot…

In real life though… Nah! Yuck! Blegh!!!

Believe me I’ve tried but its just not for me to be lathered up in honey, chocolate sauce, whipped cream and all that shit… Ugh… It’s sticky, it gets in everywhere, and have you ever experienced the stench of whipped cream after its been sprayed over a steaming body and heats up? It smells like warm over the due date milk!

Yeah, you can call me a spoil sport. STFU! Don’t think I am not adventurous in that area. This food and sex thing just has never done it for me really.

Then again… maybe I’ve not tried that with the right guy (heh), in the right way… who knows… Or maybe I have not tried the right substance yet?

Oh well, maybe it’s just me…

I am kinda “meh” today and not up to writing any of the posts that I had in mind. The Kid had a rough night trying to sleep with all the Bionic Kid stuff on his body. As for the occassion he was in bed with me that means I didn’t sleep at all, nor did I last night in the run up to the cardiac tests… So I am friggin exhausted (although The Guy is gonna laugh at me now, thinking I am a sleep deprivation amateur, probably) and working from home today. I think I am also kinda experiencing some stress wind down from the whole Matter of the Heart thing… and all that combined is also making me miss HIM like cuh-razy! More than ever. I just wanna get on a plane, grab his ass and have my way with him… Heh…

So yeah… kinda “Meh” today…

There is still something that I need to take care off though… Cuz on Monday mah dahlin’ Karl, of 2HT, bestowed an award upon me (and 10 others, no less) that I thought is one of the bestest most wonderful awards I’ve received since starting my blogging. It’s the “I Love You This Much” award! Smooch, Hug, Kiss, baby! Thanks so much! That really brought a smile to my face, big time! I love you too!

So now it’s my turn to pass the award on to 10 blogs/bloggers that I love. Again, like Karl stated about the person giving him the award, I too would normally put Karl in my list too, but I won’t do that as the award will keep going back and forth all the time. Also, reading tons of blogs and having tons of blogging friends, it’s hard to list just 10, so don’t freak if you are not in there, cuz I love you all! So here goes for my top 10 list.

1. Rob from Robservations is at the top of my list for “obvious reasons”. Not only because I seriously truly love this guy, but also because I already used to read his blog before we even hooked up and I very much envy his writing style. He’s got that way about him in his writing, that’s very poetic and intense. I can’t even hold a candle to that!
2. Jill from Doin’ It Dutchie Style is next on the list. She is for sure my bestest bloggy friend and my rock! We talk every day and I love her writing and I know that her moving to Dutchyland is going to make our friendship even stronger!
3. Penelope from I’ts Me Penelope is one of my new found bloggy friends. She’s been around for a while but I’ve only recently started reading her and well, I love her! She’s funny as hell, I love British humor, and has quickly become a great bloggy friend, up there with Jill.
4. How could Fab from Pointless Drivel NOT be in here? My former blogfiancee is one of my all time favorite bloggers. I love his blog that is oozing insanity in every way possible. And there’s a lot of ways to be an insane blogger, trust me.
5. Dawn from So a Blond Walks Into a Blog is next. She is one of the most caring bloggers around. She and her family have been through a lot in the time that I’ve been following her in the blogosphere and still she is very perceptive and caring to the stuff other people go through. She is always “there”.
6. Jess from The Tattooed Momma needed to be in here too. I love her kickass personality and her blog, and also have the utmost respect for the way she is building her Delicious Design Business. She just went out and did it and it working her ass off. Gotta love that!
7. Finn from A Life Less Ordinary can’t not be in here either. Love the woman! Her writing always makes me laugh, think and admire. She too has a beautiful writing style ánd she is a talented photographer (you áre gonna enter the contest aren’t you, hon?).
8. Robin from The Road Less Unraveled. Great kickass chick, super sense of humor and well, she is getting married with Erik within a month! And I mean, how can I not love the woman who calls her boobies The Wonder Twins? Seriously?
9. Then there’s Turnbaby from And As The World Turns. I have not known her for that long either. Actually since she won the Fab Dildo and I won the Avitable butt plug (and come to think of it, the reason for her winning the Fab one and me getting stuck with the Avi one is all becoming clear to me now, sheesh!). She is a wonderful woman, and her Half Nekkid Thursdays are legendary (it’s Thursday, go see!).
10. And last, but certainly not least, there’s Metalmom from I Don’t Wanna Hear It. What can I tell you about her. She’s Metalmom! Who doesn’t love her!? On the one hand she is this kickass woman and on the other hand she’s this all mushy Mommy, hence the fact that her blogging name suits her so well. Love her! She could be my Metalmom any day.

So there you go. I could list tons of you all but I was limited to 10. In all honestly I would love to give out this award to all of you, but ya know… that’s not how the award thing works…

Have a great Thursday… I am gonna continue my “Meh” state for a while longer. Doesn’t feel like I will be snapping out of it anytime soon… So yah… See you around latah!

Wish me luck… It’s another “Matter of the Heart-day“. We’re off for the next battery of tests with The Kid today… Or actually I am by myself as The Ex can’t make it. A schooltrip with his class (he’s a teacher) to Six Flags was apparently more important…

The Kid needs to go for a cycling test and will have a Holter ECG device put on which he will need to wear 24 hours, including in bed… I can feel a night with not much shuteye coming on…

I have pretty high hopes that they won’t find anything wrong with him this time either. And me and The Ex have decided that if that is so, this is the end of the test line for now. The cardiologist wants to do a so called “provocative” test during which they inject chemicals into his blood to unbalance his heart rythm and see what happens… He would need to be admitted to ICU for that… that’s how much of a risk that test is… Hell to the Naw! I got a second opinion on doing that test thru one of The Chief’s colleagues who advised us against that… strongly… So if we’re in the clear with these upcoming tests, we’re outta there for at least another year…

Fingers crossed!!!

UPDATE:

Just back from the medical center. The cycling test was tough but he did well. The cardiologist on duty there turned out to be the boyfriend of one of our PhD students and also one of the people that attended our course in 2008 on Schiermonnikoog. Was nice to see a familiar face. He was really good with The Kid, and I can appreciate that, as the child cardiologist we had last time was a total shitface asshole.

After that we went on to have the Holter (24h) ECG fitted. Well, all I can say is that I went into the medical center with a 10 year old boy, but was sent home with an android copy of him. He thinks it’s übercool, having all those wires hooked up to him. We need to keep a 24 h journal of his activities and I will take the Holter ECG stuff and the journal back to the cardiology dept on my way to the office tomorrow, as I pass their offices on the way there. Same building.

Oh and yes… I know! I KNOW! And therefore our afternoon activity WILL indeed be a visit to the hairdresser.

But ya know… do you know how hard it is to convince a 10 year old boy, who wants to grow his hair, that despite growing it, he still needs to have a haircut every now and then? Seriously!

HAIRCUT UPDATE:

We compromized. He can still have it grow longer but I had the hairdresser, Albert (great guy and about only straight male hairdresser I know off), clean it up. I think it was a good compromize. I am happy with it and so is he.

It’s contest time again! I decided to celebrate the “birth” of my new photoblog DutchBitch View (The DutchBitch Photoblog) with a no shit real photocontest!

The theme of the photocontest will be

“Lather * Rinse * Repeat”

Anyone and everyone can enter. Yes, you lurkers, who never comment, you can enter as well. I assume everyone of you owns a photocamera and/or a mobile with built-in camera, can take a picture and has some level of imagination, so I expect tons of entries! Seriously!

You can enter the contest by sending me a photo on this theme. The interpretation of the theme will be left to your imagination, obviously! And very important: NO Photoshopping allowed! This way the photoshopically-challenged have a shot at winning too. Entries don’t need to be professional level pictures. It’s all about the interpretation of the theme, really.

Obviously I won’t be judging the contest myself to avoid any whiff of nepotism. So I have invited 3 fellow bloggers to judge the contest.

Judge 1: The infamous Otilius, New Yahk photoblogger
Judge 2: Penelope, crazy Chardonnay Bitch from the UK
Judge 3: Rainy Pete, unbalanced Canadian blogger extraordinaire

Wow! How an international judging panel!!! Don’t be intimidated by them, please. I hear from reliable sources they can all be bribed and they take all major creditcards and PayPa payments.

Deadline: Tuesday June 10, 2008
Entry submission: Send in your entries to thedutchfiles@gmail.com

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What? ‘Scuse me? Prizes? Oh… You want to hear about the prizes? It’s not sufficient if I tell you prizes will be worthwhile? Huh? Well, ok, I guess I owe you that much.

First Prize:

A custom design by Delicious Design Studio!

Second Prize:

A(n upgrade to a) FlickR PRO account!

Third Prize:

a $20 Amazon gift certificate!

So go put your glad rags on gear up those cams and get clickin’!!! I would love to get tons of entries for this competition and this is one that I am sure everyone can do! And spreaaaaaad dah word!!! Don’t let me down!!!

Oh and BTW: I am considering posting all entries at the photoblog, so ya know… it will all go public… Just sayin…