I am not the celebrity crush kinda girl… But if I ever had one, it was for this guy…
He cracks me the hell up… every time… still… * SNORT *
- Hey, Marcy, what’s holding the towel up?
- Remember our motto: We ain’t got it.
- It must be your mother. Tell her I said ‘oink’.
- If God had wanted women to play ball, he would’ve made them men.
- Peg, is there any reason this cactus is where my alarm clock should be?
- I had a dream last night. A big red haired mosquito in tight pants was hovering over me sucking money out of my wallet.
- I’m jealous of everyone not married to you.
- Only one woman, too much time.
- This is my week off, so pack up, get the kids and I’ll see you in a week.
- We all have to live with our disappointments… I have to sleep with mine.
- I saw a star in the East. Peg, did you do laundry?
- Life didn’t pass me by, it sat on my head.
- Dead men don’t wake up yelling ‘don’t’.
- Threats don’t work on me… I’ve already been to hell.
- I’d rather dive of the Sears Tower head first into a thumbtack or bait a crocodile with my manhood…
- Not quite as old as the hair on your legs…
You see kids, it was a dream and you were replaced by two sixpacks in the refridgerator.- Peg, when you married me, was it pre-meditated or a drive-by marriage?
- Home, work, can a man have too much fun?
- You’ve desecrated the toilet I call home!
- Except for the day before the day I met you, this is the happiest day of my life.
- Lets go! Last one to your house gets to sit next to my wife!
- I don’t HAVE to go to sleep after sex. I WANT to go to sleep after sex. I welcome the darkness.
- I would rather sleep in a bunk-bed under Oprah!
- I love you, Peg… Just kidding!
- I wouldn’t rub your feet if a genie popped out of them
- Kids take a good long look. This is worth a thousand condom commercials.
- You may as well bore me with your problems…
- May the shoe-business take you all!
- Peg, you know I warned you before about touching me.
- Marcy, the part with the cups goes in front.
- There is so much that I wanna say to you but there’s a show coming on that I wanna watch.
- The only power I sensed was that of the mighty forces unleashed by beans.
- Please, Peg, if you have any feelings for me, don’t make me make love to you.
- Milwaukee. That’s the town they build around you mother isn’t it, Peg?
- I’m the only guy in the world who has to wake up to have a nightmare.
- Behind every successful man is a woman who didn’t marry me.
- …who cares, it’s free!
- Ah, home sweet hell.
- Why go out for milk when you’ve got a cow at home.
- Every now and then a guy who drive a Dodge likes to close his eyes and imagine it’s a Ferrari.
- Christmas is not the time for regrets. That’s what anniversaries are for.
- Congratulations Peg, you’ve just won a trip to Disney Fist.
- People who work putting shoes on fat women who wear dresses should not have 20/20 vision.
- Let me explain. It’s just like an elevator. There’s a 2 ton weight limit on those shoes…
- Well, I chalked up some more frequent loser miles today.
- Sure selling shoes is fun. But behind the glamour, it’s like any other minimum wage slow death.
- Sorry, Peg, I didn’t hear you. I was thinking of killing myself.
Hell YES! That’s one of the greatest shows of all time, I still watch it sometimes when it comes on cable. “MMMMMM…toaster leavin’s”
gingermagnolias last blog post..CAKE OR DEATH
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The earier shows were the funniest…
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I loved that show!
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God I miss that show!
Finns last blog post..So…
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“A fat woman clip clopped in to the shoe store today……”
Blondefabulouss last blog post..A Few Things….
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BEST.SHOW.EVER.
“Where you can stare at their butts and they keep their traps shut – at the nudie bar”
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I have never seen this show but these made me laugh a LOT! I especially loved “Well, I chalked up some more frequent loser miles today.” Genius
Penelopes last blog post..In which I flash The Delicious Man.
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wow. finally something we disagree on. I HATED that show. Hated it with a passion. But then, I also hate the Simpsons too. So I’m just odd that way! :razz:
Cinnkittys last blog post..Boys will be Boys
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Hahahaha…those are all good. My fave was Kelly Bundy on that show.
Hey, swing by my blog if you get a minute. I have something there for you.
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Oh yeah – here’s another one for ya…
“Hooters, hooters, yum, yum, yum. Hooters, hooters, on a girl that’s dumb.”
Sexist, I know, but it still makes me laugh.
gingermagnolias last blog post..CAKE OR DEATH
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