Jan 15
Once Upon A Time…
…in Dutchyland… there was a man. He was probably in his early 40’s and his name was Tom, or maybe Dick or even Harry… He was a flash business man, not bad looking, pretty attractive in fact, good bod, wearing hot ass business suits every day to the office. This particular morning Tom, Dick or Harry was running a tad late. Nothing to be worried about. In a minute he would get into his brandnew big ass Mercedes, break some speed limits and arrive at the office in plenty of time to squeeze his hot new temp secretaries ass and then head over to the board room for his meeting…
He slurped up his last splash of morning coffee, turned to his wife (or it might have been his mistress), kissed her goodbye, walked out the door, got into his flashy Mercedes that was in the driveway sparkly clean, and drove off… His day had started with a great session of morning sex, a hot shower and a great espresso and he was ready to go.
After his usual 20 minute drive, or should we call it turbo boost flight, he arrived at the exit lane of the city where his office was situated. Fuck! A traffic jam, one that had become more rule than exception in the last few months. He looked at his watch, hidden under the sleeve of his expensive new shirt, and realized that this traffic jam was gonna rob him from the minutes he had gained in the past 20 minutes.
Instead of waiting for his turn getting into the line of traffic jammed cars at the start of the exit lane, he decided to drive his big ass car to the frónt of the exit lane. Afterall, all these sorry ass suckers waiting in line couldn’t possibly be in as much a hurry as he was. Look at the wankers! They obviously didn’t have anywhere important to be. They were just in line for no particular reason, for the cat’s cunt, as we say in Dutchyland. Their need to be somewhere at a certain time couldn’t póssibly be as high as his… So he drove up even further down the line until he was at the very very front and then commenced to intimidate the cars in the front of the line and squeeze his brandnew big ass Mercedes in front of the car next to him…
Guess who was driving that teenie weenie car that Tom, or Dick or Harry or whatever was trying to squeeze in front off?
Heh…
And guess what else?
H.E.L.L. N.O.!!!
That hot ass business man in his expensive business suit with his great bod and cute face, suddenly wasn’t as attractive anymore when he was busy having a tantrum in his car, accompanied by loud honking and vigorous use of both his middle fingers (keep the hands on the steering wheel at all times, babe)…
Aside from attracting the attention of a policecar that was driving by, it did nothing for him…
muahahahahaha!!!
Those are the shitbags that cause accidents and who ensure that less-secure drivers become too afraid to drive.
He deserved every bit of shit he got haha!
I never let someone in like that. The exit by me can take 20 minutes or longer on some days…hell to the no. I sat in traffic, so can you. Don’t let them in.
libragirl’s last blog post..I know what’s wrong
You know what bitch? we need to go driving together one time soon! I love people like that and with all the driving I do and at the times I do, I see all the road trip businessmen and it is funny as hell seeing them trying ot jump ahead, and the fact of the matter is I LOVE to be in traffic jams as we don’t have that shit in Australia.
Sit back, relax, good music, see everyone else pulling their hair out, fucking funny as hell! you need to carry a lolly pop in your car like I do, when I piss osmeone off by not letting them in line I start sucking on a lolly pop, they get the hint.
ImportedBitch’s last blog post..Bullet Material
Lisa: I think so too. I didn’t hang around for it but the policecar díd stop next to his car. That much I could see in my rear view mirror.
Libragirl: Indeed Hell To The No!
Imported Bitch: Yeah baby!
HAHAHAHA - well told Dutchy! And well done!
Britt’s last blog post..Day 2 of Miss Britt Week: According to Mister Britt
Well done!!!
Jen’s last blog post..My weekend update
You are the bomb, girl!
Finn’s last blog post..Q&A? Not To Be Confused With T&A, Which You?re Not Getting Here So Just Forget It, Buddy
Britt: Thanks Hon. That is how I envisioned his morning
Jen: Woohooo!
Finn: Thanks Babe
You’d think the drivers of luxury cars would actually be carefull in situations like those, but instead they come to believe that they are untouchable. I don’t think I’ve heard Merceded list “force field” as one of the specs… oh well. Made for a great story.
Nya’s last blog post..You Know You’re A Grown Up When…
I love it when you get nasty!
He desrved every bit of Dutch wrath!
metalmom’s last blog post..Cinderella Needs a Shoe
Nya: LOL on the “force field” thing
Metalmom: And I am SO good at being nasty!!!
I see those tools everyday and I love pissing them off.
Robin: M
E 
T 
O 
O 
Hahaha! I hate douchebaggin’ assholes.
I plan on taking public transport in Dutchyland so I’ll not be worrying about the morons on the road. Unless I’m riding with ImportBitch….then I’ll just close my eyes!
That Bitchy Chick’s last blog post..Riddle Me This
You are totally my hero, even more than you were before!
Mr. Fabulous’s last blog post..I could always turn my blog into this?
You simply have no luck on the road, dollface. You need a personal leer jet.
CP
Luxury cars make ugly coffins when squashed
FroggyWoogie’s last blog post..What are your spiritual Beliefs?
AWE-SOME!
You go, girl! lol
Hmmm - just wondering about this. The Netherlands having so many waterways, what is the aquatic version of road rage in Dutch?
Nanuk’s last blog post..Something’s Watching Me
Thank you for not backing down. I loathe people like him.
*pixie*’s last blog post..tell me
I am with Pixie. Why must people in Mercedes think they are above others? So the have a high paying job, and a lot of disposable income, and are in good physical shape, and have nice hair, and probably get laid every night…oh God I’m depressed.
JQ’s last blog post..“Now they’re frightened of leaving it….”
YAY YOU! I feel the same damned way - I waited MY turn, YOU will too.
hee
Tug’s last blog post..The Penis Bracelet
That hairy dildo! what’s he thinking trying to cut you off?
Nobody™’s last blog post..Stuff Nobody™ watches
I cannot staaand it when people think their lives are so much more important than everyone else’s. It makes me so angry!
*fists in the air*
Good work woman!
-J
Morgetron’s last blog post..Sweat Stains
Now I am certain - I love you.
hahahahahahah! hope you gave him a dose of dutchyness and I hope he got a ticket!
DaDuck’s last blog post..History, Civics, Sociology OH MY!
Kentucky Girl: Oh Hon, me too me too.
That Bitchy Chick: Oh yeah, taking public transport you will be encountering sooo much less assholes… Surely… ahem…
Mr. Fabulous: So what’s keeping you from getting your ass over here… seriously?
CP: Well, 16 million people, millions of cars and a small country… bound to happen
FroggyWoogie: Well, honestly, I think MY tiny car would be the one getting squashed.
pissy: Oh, I will. No asshole gets passed me that way, well… unless he squashes me…
Nanuk: Well, waterways aren’t so much used for commuter traffic, so less rage. But there are plenty of megalomaniac assholes on there too.
*pixie*: You’re VERY welcome
JQ: LOL, so what do you drive? Just asking….
Tug: Yeah, Amen sistah!
Nobody™: I don’t know… very unwise… LOL
Morgetron: Well, as you can see they bring out the bitch in me as well…
Just Dave: Are you reaaaallly certain?
Da Duck: Not sure about the ticket but they did stop beside his car and get out, the police. Last thing I saw cuz the line started moving right then and there…
A beat-up, rusty, Chevy S-10 (a small pick up truck). Before that I had a caddy though, don’t get excited it was a used Caddy. That car had a lot of memories. It was in that car that Pixie first realized she loved me!
JQ’s last blog post..“Now they’re frightened of leaving it….”
hehehe. He got what he deserved, I hope!
Lynda’s last blog post..Seven Strange Things?Just Seven??