The Dutch Files

Dear… Um, no… Hello… anyone there? Summer?,

Yes, this is addressed to you. You, that to me are going into your last day… Yes, I know you are not officially over yet, but hey! Let’s face it, we can’t actually say that you seriously started at any point in time either, now, can we? I mean WTF were you thinking?!!

You should be deeply ashamed of yourself!!! Still daring to go by the name Summer. Pfffrrtttt! You call thís summer? WTF? I think I’ve seen more rain in June, July and August than e.v.e.r. before! And I don’t think I’ve seen this little sun before either… Yeah, so fuck you! Summer! You ruined it all: annual office outing, annual school outing, school sports day, summer vacation, weekends. Fuck Fuck Fuck YOU!

What the hell!?!? What? Did you guys think it was fun to change seats? And just for fuck’s sake you changed places with Fall? Yeah, I guess. And knowing my luck Fall will think the joke is up after this and take it’s rightful place in line again and ya know… you will be passed over completely…

Or were you too busy looking at compromizing pics of Winter and Spring and jerking off while doing so? Goddammit!!! I mean, ya know, everyone’s got his or her needs but can you please fucking do that in your own time? There’s no need to punish us for your whacked libido, huh?

You better shape up next year, cuz I am not sure Mother Nature is amused either. I mean, you are goddammit fucking up her whole schedule! She’s having to rush left and right to damage control your ass, and not just here, but all over the world! Yeah, you didn’t stop to think about thát, now did you? And to be honest, I don’t envy you here. I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of a scorned Mother Nature. I mean, she ís a woman, afterall.

So SUCK IT UP, shape up and get back to what you were hired to do: give us nice temperatures, and sun! Loads of SUN! Kick some ass and get it right next time, cuz ya know… by now your job is seriously on the line and you are out dah door if you don’t fucking get it right and do your thang in 2009.

Oh, and if you decide to kinda shuv Fall aside for a few weeks and well… give us some preview of what is to come next year… ya know, the good kind, the getting it right kind… Be my guest.

If not, get the FUCK out of my face… Cuz this year’s summer has just been craptastic! And my stilletto’s are not afraid to kick your ass either! I’ve gotten re-acquainted with my umbrella, my rainboots, my sweaters and shit like that waaaaay too well over the past months!!!

Furiously Yours,

DutchBitch