Aug 18
Piss Poor Genetics (And this totally counts)
All I’m going to say is that Nobody had to remind me that I was supposed to be posting here today and not tomorrow. And I don’t think, technically, I’m even late.
I mean - we’re on Dutch time, right?
(Wait. Does anyone know if that means I’m more or less late? Shit.)
ANYway, now that I’m here, I’m pulling out a post of mine from about two years ago. Because I am an awesome guest blogger like that. So. Without further adoodling…
Piss Poor Genetics. A Rerun.
I am amazed sometimes by what characteristics and traits can be passed down genetically.
Devin has developed some strange habit of going to bed in my bed at night. I have no idea why, and he claims to have no idea why, and when we put him back into his own bed before we go to bed - he sleeps just fine. (sorry, lots of ‘beds’ in that ridiculously long sentence.)
The major problem with this is that my son - though quite normal looking during the daytime hours - transforms into a sweating, drooling, slobbery beast when the sun goes down. I don’t like the idea of having to sleep in a wet spot. Especially if I didn’t get to have sex.
So… last night…
I tell Devin as he goes upstairs “be sure you go to sleep in YOUR bed”. Yep, uh huh, no problem. Two hours later I’m in the bathroom getting ready for bed myself and I hear my husband say “didn’t you tell Devin to go to his own bed?”
Damn it. Drool. Sweat puddles. I hope it was on my husband’s side this time.
“Yes, wake him up. Have him walk into his own room.”
Suddenly I hear screaching from Jared “WHAT are you doing? No! No! Go to the bathroom!”
Devin wanders into the bathroom, pants down, penis in hand - with a very dazed look on his face. He comes and stand next to me by the sink and aims himself at the window. He then proceeds to pee all over the blinds and floor, very calm, with little indication that this may be - well, a bit odd to say the least.
Devin! The toilet! The toilet!” I grab him by the shoulders and point him towards the toilet.
After a few more mishaps we finally got him into bed. His bed, for the record.
I looked at Jared as we came back into the bathroom to survey the damage.
“You’re cleaning that up” I told him.
“What? Why me?”
“Because he gets that from you. I have never in my life peed someplace other than a toilet - unless I was frogging it on purpose, which doesn’t count. Do you remember your little closet incident?”
“I was drunk. That doesn’t count.”
“Uh huh. Your genes. Your mess. You’re cleaning it up.”
As I drifted off to sleep, quite satisfied with myself for having found a way to finagle out of cleaning up urine, I remembered a similar incident with one of my brothers when he was about Devin’s age. So, I guess, in all fairness, he may have actually gotten it from both sides. Ah well, dad genes trump uncle genes in the Clean Up Pee department I’m sure.
I wonder if Inappropriate Urination is a recessive or dominant gene?
Heh, that’s hilarious. I suppose if one of my kids does that, I’m out of excuses.
Karls last blog post..Blogjacking
Haydn, at a time when he was much younger than he is now, had been asleep on the couch. He seemed *sort of* awake as we headed toward the steps. Then he paused and dropped his pants.
I said, “Haydn!”
He looked at me and said, “What? What?”
Without going into all the dialog, we repeated those sentences several times as he relieved himself on the steps.
delmers last blog post..Medical Pros