Sep 02
Pop till you drop
I am noticing something about my body as of late… past few months really… I mean, other than that it’s not tanned the way it should be at the end of summer, goddammit…
Seriously… I think I am falling apart… I think some bolts and screws inside are coming loose…
STFU! I am not joking. I am being completely serious here! My body might be falling apart while we speak and all you can do is laugh? I can see those tears squirting from your eyes, don’t think I don’t see it! Pffft!
Ok, get yourself together and listen to me. My bones are popping… and ya know… my limberability (that is SO a word!) is fading… I used to be able to do summersaults and backflips on the trampoline! Shit! Well, ok, granted, I was 13 at the time, but still. That is only umm… 25 years ago… I mean, WTF happened between now and then?
My knees are popping when I’ve sat down on the couch and get up. And I gotta tell ya, several people around me have suffered the consequences of can vouch for the fact that I absolutely positively háte other people popping their joints in front of me. Popping fingers, toes, whatever joint we are talking about. I hate it! And now, I have started popping myself. And I am not even trying to do so. It just happens, by itself, when I move…
And don’t even get me stárted on my hips! Holy Mother of God! They get stuck! STUCK! When I squat down on the floor or whatever and I have to get up (which in itself is not proving that easy anymore these days either, holy shit, I sound like an 80 year old), I move up, try to stand and then I can feel my hip is not right. Like it’s partly out of its socket or whatever… It doesn’t hurt, well not really, but ya know… it feels weird. And the only way to get it right it to kick out my leg attached to the corresponding hip until it pops back… Whew!!!
And can you even begin to imagine how annoying that is in certain *cough* sexual *cough* positions *cough*? And seriously, WTF is up with all those muscles cramping up during *cough* sex *cough* as a result of trying not to have my hip pop out of place? I mean, can’t I catch a fucking break?
If this is what you get for living healthy, getting pretty regular exercise (hey, even though I don’t do sports, I hike, I bike and I take the stairs every chance I get, and that’s good enough for me) and rest, well fuck my body! OK, maybe that’s was not meant to be addressed to all of you literally… But you get my drift…
*pop* *pop* *pop*
I think I need more sex… that’s the best form of exercise, right? Right? Yeah, more sex! Hon!!!?
(popping my knuckles as I type)… yes hon… we’ll get your hips, knees, ankles, toes, shoulders, elbows, wrists, fingers, and neck all square when you’re here… :)
Robs last blog post..Top 5’s… 80’s style…
Rob: I knew you wouldn’t let me down…
and STOP popping your knuckles!!!
Was just popping in to say hello
FroggyWoogies last blog post..Sea Men
FroggyWoogie: Yeah, thanks, LOL
Hooray for sex! Alas, it still doesn’t replace a good cardio workout. Sorry
LisaBinDaCitys last blog post..Conversation with HCFG - The Snark Edition
Oh this made me laugh! I know *exactly* what you mean! I feel about 90 some days!
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who’s hips and muscles cramp up during sex too. I’m NOT THAT FUCKING OLD!!!
May I suggest yoga? It’ll keep your muscles supple so they pull on your joints when you move. No popping!
Finns last blog post..Reader’s Choice: Bad Moon
Oh… and it gets you nice and limber for sex!
Finns last blog post..Reader’s Choice: Bad Moon
you should be happy it only started now…I have been dealing with that for 2 years now, not being able to walk after some GOOD exercise (read s.e.x. :P) and I am only 22!!!
Edit: I just read Froggy’s comment and I have one thing to say: LOL!!!
LisaB: Hmmm sex… cardioworkout… sex… cardioworkout… SEX!!!
Penelope: Oh we can be popping old together over the weekend! Yay!
Finn: Tried that but I can’t concentrate enough for yoga… Just can’t do it, LOL. And Rob volunteered to get me nice and limber through sex… that’s good too, right?
Lisa: OMG!!! So I got away with it for errr… 16 years! I am 16 yrs older than you? OMFG!!!
Don’t tell me you hadn’t found that out before!?
Lisa: LOL… Well, I did… but it just hit me a.g.a.i.n…
hahaha ok sorry for hitting you or something haha
Lisas last blog post..Ja nou zeg!!
May I borrow your space for a couple of seconds? Yes? Oh thanks, you’re so kind Dutchie.
Well, I just wanted to tell Lisa I’m glad I made her LOL
That’s all, you can have your space back
:D
FroggyWoogies last blog post..Sea Men
If only more sex could fix all my problems…
Are you disgusted by popping joints that are uncontrollable? My knee pops occasionally as does an elbow. But my right ankle pops almost with every step I take. Old football injury. Would you not hang with me because of that?
kapgars last blog post..And even when your hope is gone, move along…
I was such a rough ass kid…I am soooooo paying for it now! I have pops in places that SHOULD NOT EVAR POP!
Yoga. Pilates. That’s all I’m sayin….it helped me a little, maybe you too!
Blondefabulouss last blog post..Yes, Yes,….I Am Getting Around To Posting.
Has your intake of fruit been reduced dramatically recently? A diet change can lead to sudden differences in the body - especially if you stop eating things that helped your body and joints lubricate naturally.
whalls last blog post..Sorry So Selfish
Oh my goodness, I think you’re onto something. I was going to say that everything on me has cracked/popped for years, but I just realized that now that I’m having very regular sex less of my bones are cracking. WOW.
TMI, but, for the sake of supporting your argument — I share.
Poppys last blog post..switch
Yep. Absolutely. Sex. Lots of it.
Coal Miner’s Granddaughters last blog post..Halloween in August
Popping joints mean the end is near. I’m already dead but maintain a blog notwithstanding.
martys last blog post..Virgin Radio= Absolute Radio
Lisa: No problem
Froggy: Yeah, go ahead.. Oh, you already did..
Robin: Well, I don’t think sex fixes all problems for anyone, really. That would be so great though
BlondeFabulous: Yeah, like I told Finn, I am not the kinda person for that. It erks me, yoga and stuff… LOL
whall: Nope, no changes whatsoever
Poppy: LMAO well I guess I’ll be ok for a while from Sunday then
CMG: Ah good to know!
Marty: Umm yeah… that’s very reassuring, thanks for that…
Oh, good luck with that…as you know I know. Hopefully yours is nothing like mine, and you can just pop for years without the whole ‘leaning tower of Pisa’ look going on with your body!
Tugs last blog post..Bluebird of Happiness