Ha! It’s time for a rant at The Dutch Files! It’s been a while and someone provided rant-material yesterday at the medical center. So I figured: Why The Hell Not!

I have yesterday added a new species to my moron-list: people who INSIST to stand in front of the button panel in an elevator!

MotherFUCK! They piss me off. I cannot tell you how many times I come into one of the medical center elevators and find someone standing in front of the panel. These are people who insist on standing there, no matter how empty the elevator is. These are people who apparently think they won’t get out of the elevator in time if they don’t stand right in front of the elevator doors, hence also in front of the panel with the elevator buttons. And they will not move. No matter how many times they need to step aside for someone that wants access to the panel. No matter how many times their big fat ass ends up pushing all the buttons when they lose their balance when the elevator stops or starts. No matter how many people roll their eyes, shake their heads…

Thick much?

The Queen of Elevator assholes I ran into yesterday. I run into her all the time and what happened yesterday happens all the fucking time with her: I came into the elevator to take me up to the 7th floor where our offices are. I got into the elevator and she was already in there, in front of the panel. I reached for the panel and she didn’t move. I looked at her, she looked at me, then looked at the panel and she still didn’t move. I looked at her again and asked: “Could you please move, so I can punch in where I want to go?“. She sighed, rolled her eyes, and move about half away from the panel, still with her fat ass in front of the “7″ button that I needed to push. “Can you move over a bit further? You are still in front of half of the panel“. She sighed again and move over slightly more and I reached behind her and pushed “7″. I had to push her a tad aside still, as she was still in front partly. She turned to me and said “Excuse me! There is no need to push!“…

Yeah, can I just say 2 words? “Fucked” and “Wrong Bitch“! STFU, so that’s 3 words. Whatev!

I had bitten my tongue on several previous occassions of her rolling her eyes, sighing and bitching and now I stepped back to the other side of the elevator, looked up at her and said “Well, actually, there WAS a need to push. I asked you TWICE if you could step away from the fecking panel and well… apparently you have no clue what that means. Your ass is in front of the panel, while there is plenty of room in the elevator. What the hell is the use of standing in this exact spot if people have to reach behind you all the time and you have to step away all the time. And another thing: DO NOT roll your eyes or sigh at me, or anyone else that needs to reach for the panel again. YOU decided to put your fat ass over there as you do e.v.e.r.y. time I run into you in the elevator and seriously!? It’s annoying!”

Two of my fellow elevator occupants sighed “Finally someone opens their mouth” and gave me a approving look.

The chick? Yeah, she shut up and kept her ass in front of the panel and stepped aside every time someone asked her to. Just once she tried to roll her eyes, but then looked over at me and I guess she decided against it… I wonder where she’ll stand next time I run into her… She better stand somewhere else cos I might ram the panel thru her throat if she pisses me off like that again… You know, if I am having one of those days at the office, I just might…