Have I told you lately…

… that I LOVE you!? Have I told you there’s no one above you!?

Fill my heart with gladness, Take away my sadness

Ease my troubles, That’s what you do!

Yes, all of you! You, and you, and you, and yes, you too!

* SMOOCH *

There, I just wanted to tell you guys.

Hurray for bloggy goodness and friends!

Just, no particular reason, cos you’re you…

Florida or bust!

OK, Floridian (and other possible) party people! As some of you have already noticed a while ago on Facebook and/or Twitter or picked up from the widget in the sidebar –>

The DutchBitch and The Kid are going to be in the Orlando area in Florida in October!

That’s in 3 months and 17 days, you bitches!

Yes, I am! The Kid is moving on to high school in September and we have been saving up for a big trip for years now. And this is the year. He is dying to go to the US, and I am dying to go see mah girl Jill, we have decided to roll both into one and go on holiday to Orlando for a week.

We will be arriving in Orlando on October 16 and as I would love love love love love to hook up with some of mah peeps we are having a meet up on

Sunday October 17 – afternoon

I am not sure yet where we are meeting, what time we are meeting and what we’ll do but seeing as I have The Kid with me and I want to bring him, and I can’t afford spending huge wads of cash, it will probably be a Pot Luck / Family Style / Lunch-BBQ / In The Park-meet up. Not sure yet on the details of the whole idea but I will keep you guys posted.

So anyone who is (or happens to/can be) in the area and wants to join in on Sunday afternoon October 17, give me a shout!

Can’t wait!!! Suh-Queeeee!!!

Bitchsterdam Recap (Finally!)

Bitchsterdam was a blast. We had a great time at Hard Rock Café in Amsterdam. My head is too foggy to write a proper blog post so I will just suffice with all the things I learned over the weekend:

• Lady Penelope doesn’t care who the fuck is waiting for her at arrivals. All she cares about is getting the hell out of the non-smoking airport building a.s.a.p. (“I seem to be outside, did I walk the wrong way?” Yeah Uh Huh)
• She tries to get into the wrong side of the car here in Dutchyland just as much as I tend to in the U.K.
• If you are having Lady Penelope over, make sure you have 1 bottle of wine/day in your fridge, at LEAST
• Honking your car horn at Schiphol is THE thing to do. No matter whether anyone is able to get anywhere.
• Again some people at plane/airport came away from a horrible fate, just because Dave2 cán control himself
• Alkmaar drivers are pretty decent. They WILL let you park even though you are blocking the whole road attempting to do so.
• The cheesemarket hasn’t changed much since I was there last at 10 yrs of age.
• Dress sense does not come natural to everyone and yellow certainly doesn’t work for some women
• Getting a cruise liner into Alkmaar waters apparently is a “tight fit”
• To “some people” the little pieces of shit cheese handed out at the Kaas Museum are a little piece of heaven (clearly people like that don’t know real cheese)
• Patatjes Met and rolls with Old Amsterdam cheese are mandatory and gooooooddd
• The Kid’s bed is going squeakier and squeakier since Dave2 has been using it
• It IS possible to have 1 guy ánd 2 girls up and in the car before 10 a.m.
• Lady Penelope needs to be kept on a leash while walking through Amsterdam. If not, she is prone to kill herself walking into a car… or a tram… or a scooter… or a bike…
• It is amazing how much stuff that you say sounds completely weird taken out of context, which obviously we love to do… all the time: “OVERHEARD!“
• The way to speak UK English rather than US English is to just randomly insert words like “Literally” and “Obviously” and “Actually” into a sentence. Don’t actually worry, they literally fit in anywhere in a sentence, obviously.
• Going on a canal boat trip with Dave2 and his camera: do NOT take the window seat. Your boobs will not live to tell.
• Canal boats in Amsterdam clearly go faster than the ones in Delft.
• Having a “Juice Bar”  is the red light district, is kinda um… weird to me
• It suffices to just stand in the Hard Rock Store and be beautiful in order to land yourself a Hard Rock Café suitcase label. Well, for some people, at least (heh).
• Given a “buzzer” while waiting for a table at Hard Rock Café, all the girls -for some inexplicable reason- will be fighting over the buzzer
• Some people never fail to steer the conversation to pee and poo “number 2″
• Some burgers are just too big.
• Eating around the edges is only helpful advise if your burger still has edges (which, if it has come apart in your hands, it really doesn’t anymore)
• Watching a World Cup match between the US with a few Americans and a Brit is um… interesting…
• There should be a law against a thong showing, especially skin colored ones. Hell, there should be a law against thong on men – period!
• I am not sure what statement someone stuffing shoe in a drain is trying to make.
• If you, with a motorcycle cop next to you, put your hands in your sides and shout “WTF do YOU want!?!?“  at him, then stuff your shoe in a drain and then proceed to abuse a traffic sing pole, you WILL get wrestled to the ground, feel the cold steel of handcuffs on your wrists and the knee of a police officer in your back. Arrested!
• To Amsterdam policewomen signing a shirt of one of the participants of a stag party is clearly more important then hauling off an arrestee.
• THE word of Bitchsterdam 2: Literally!
• The landmarks Dave2 remembers from last Bitchsterdam: “I recognize this! This is where you pissed yourself laughging last time, isn’t it, DutchBitch?“
• He will then proceed to repeat that process and almost succeeding (Almost!)
• There is nothing quite as good to take on the train as home made Old Cheese Sandwhiches, right?
• Something in the house breaks down if the Bitchsterdam Triangle (Dave2, Lady Penelope, DutchBitch) is present. Last time it was the waterheater, this time the TV gave out.
• I had a GUH-REAT time!

I didn’t make many pics myself but I am sure there’s pics with the others. Some great ones are on Dave2′s blog on his recap post. Be sure to have something to scrub your cornea with afterwards tho! Proof of the skin colored thong is on there. Just sayin’

Thanks to Dave2, Lady Penelope, CanaDutch + hubbie, Pinky Pie, Alibess ánd the staff at Hard Rock Café for making Bitchsterdam-2 a fun fun night! I hope Pinky Pie and Alibess got home alright with the train traffic coming to a halt around Utrecht.

And last but not least: Happy Father’s Day to everyone!

The Day Before

OMFG I have been so effing busy yesterday that I completely forgot to post.

It’s almost the start of the Bitchsterdam-2 weekend and I have been working my arse off. Like a pretty little housewife I did laundry, ironing, cleaned the apartment, changed the bedlinen, ran errands, stocked up the fridge, and in between went back and forth to bring and pick up The Kid from school and sports and stuff… Ex.haus.ted…

BUT The Day Before

Everything is clean, cleared away, and stocked up for the Bitchsterdam weekend to start! And it couldn’t have come sooner. I have decided to leave the office crap going on for what it is for now. Things on what will be happening won’t be clear for at least another week, and even so, there is nothing I can change about the decision of the Powers That Be. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, IF we come to it. We’ll see.

For now I am going to try and ignore all the crap that has been happening this week and just concentrate on having fun!

Tonight The Lady that is Penelope will be arriving at Schiphol airport and tomorrow early morning we’re grabbing The Guy that is Dave II from there, on our way to the Alkmaar Cheese Market (the weather is going to be crap, but the tourist info told me that the cheese market is never cancelled, so I will drop off my friends there and hide in the nearest cafe till it’s done, heh * ducks *). Then Saturday we will be meeting up with more peeps at Hard Rock Café in Amsterdam.

So just another day at the office to go and it’s ON!!!

I will probably not be around to blog much but there for sure will be Twittering! So if you want to keep track of us, find me there.

Toedeloe!!!