Relay for Life: in memory of Laurianne

I have written about this a few times before through the years and now, with Relay for Life only one week away, I am again.

I want you to meet Lynda. She is one of the bloggy friends that I’ve known for quite a while. She is a wonderful woman, that happens to be from Dutch descent, living in the US. Most of you will know her, some may not (but you should, she’s great). I got to meet her at ConFab in June ánd she had me talk (in Dutch!) to her Mom on the phone while we were there. She and her family have been through a lot in the past years. Worst definitely being the loss of her sister, their daughter and Mommy in 2005. She died from non-smoking related lungcancer at only 25 years old. You can read more about Laurianne’s story HERE.

Now for the part where you come in and why I am telling you: Laurianne walked in Relay for Life herself in 2005. In her memory Lynda walked the 2006, 2007 and 2008 Relay’s for Life and this year, 2009, she is going to sink her teeth (or rather her feet) into it again. She needs to raise money for that. Her goal is US$ 2,500 and well… she is still over US$ 2,000 dollars from her goal…

and Relay for Life is SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 12. That’s next WEEK!!!

So I am making a plea to all of you to help her reach her goal. If you can donate, please go over HERE and do so. And if you can’t donate (of course also if you can) you can help her by spreading the word. Mention it on your blog, your Facebook, your Twitter, Stumble it, Digg it, tell your family, tell your friends, tell your colleagues. Whatever you can to help her.

I would realllyyyy appreciate if you can help out. That’s what friends are for, right? * SMOOCH *

When Man-Love goes sour…

Dave and I during happier times.

Those of you who attended ConFab, Baby! back in June may remember Dave.

Dave is a karaoke regular at Southland.  He’s the guy who sings like he’s making a hostage tape.

He’s also just about the most annoying little cocksucker I have ever come across.  And I have come across a great many annoying little cocksuckers in my travels.

He is excruciatingly socially awkward.  He is needy.  He is clingy. He has the attention span of a housefly whacked out on crystal meth and Red Bull.

He used to think we were best buddies.  Every week he would text me during the week to make sure we were going to be at Southland.  He would always mention how much he values Turnbaby and I as friends.  We fended off several invitations to dinner.  I think he envisioned being the Robin to my Batman.  And I’m not even Batman.  At best I am Die Fledermaus.

Now, I am a nice guy.  No, really.  So I put up with Dave’s antics.  There were times when his idiocy amused me.  He would have made a great court jester back in the day.

But ultimately he was a pebble in my shoe.  A fly in my ointment.  A turd in my punchbowl.

I finally reached my limit last month.  There was a festival downtown that Turnbaby and I were going to be at.  Dave and Holly were also attending, and he made it clear that they wanted to hang out with us.  We wanted no part of that.  Even if I had, Turnbaby would have put the kibosh on it.  She hates Dave with that special brand of loathing that one usually saves for child molesters or mimes.

We managed to avoid them during the festival.  I ignored his texts.  I ignored his phone calls.  Eventually we ducked into a new Irish bar we had wanted to check out and we relaxed with a beer or two.

Finally I answered one his calls.  I pretended that I was falling down drunk.  It’s a role I’ve played to much acclaim over the years.  For once, I was the difficult one to talk to.  He couldn’t get off the phone fast enough.

Finally, some peace!

Well, for a few hours.  Then he sent a couple of texts asking me if we got home okay and if we were going to Southland on Friday.  I ignored them.

The next day was Sunday, and we were enjoying a nice peaceful day at home when the texts started again.  I finally snapped.   I saved some of the texts for your reading pleasure.  I have reproduced his just as he typed them.  My responses are in bold.

Did you guys make it home okay last night?  And also are you and (Turnbaby) going to southland on firday?  It will be good to see you.

Did you guys make it home ok yesterday?

We are fine. Don’t know about Sunday.

Can I give a ring?

No. Stop calling.

Your not mad at us are you?

If you are mad can I ask what we did?

I thought you were friends but I will take your number out of my phone and holly and will never again step foot in southland so why are u mad at us?

Can you tell me what the heck is going on I have to know what is going on

If you would can u call me we need to talk

Stop being a posessive psychotic little bitch. And stop fucking up my quiet Sunday.

Don’t worry I will never again show my face at southland I guess you was never are friends people at southland good I never fucked your sunday who said it

And with that text, I never heard from him again.  He has not been back to Southland, at least on Fridays when we go.  Karaoke is fun again.  I didn’t realize just how much of a drain he was on my psyche until he was gone.

What causes a 40 year old man to act like a 15 year old girl whose boyfriend is breaking up with her?  Have you ever seen such a thing?  It was bizarre.

By the way, he’s also a gun nut.  So if I am ever found dead outside a karaoke bar with a 9mm hollowpoint slug imbedded in the back of my head, you’ll know who did it.

Not a bad way to go.

Fab and Turn go Clogging!

Sooo now that I have taken care of Fab and Turnbaby having matching wooden shoes, I need to move on with the masterplan. Of course they need to use the wooden shoes. STFU! Use them for what they are meant for, not the steamy clog sex they have wearing them in the Bliss Manor bedroom every Sundaymorning! Gah! Oh, was that TMI? I’m sorry, I apologize for any unwanted mental images…

Wooden shoes are meant for CLOGDANCING! And yes, when I give a gift I DO provide “after care” when needed. So here goes. The instructions. Pay attention my dear Fab and Turnbaby. Practise, practise, practise. Then make a video of the 2 of you clogdancing and hand it over to me to post it!!! (everybody say “YEAH”)

Clog dancing

Step 1
Stand flat footed in a circle or square. Clogging can be done with a partner or by yourself.
Step 2
Take one step to the side with your right foot.
Step 3
Do a ball change with your left foot, transferring your weight from right to left to right and lifting your right foot off the ground in the process.
Step 4
Kick out with your left foot brushing forward and back.
Step 5
Bring your left foot back and do a ball change and brush. Brush with your right foot.
Step 6
Repeat this process until you are doing step, ball, change, brush, brush in rhythm to the music and with alternating feet. Stay in one place and clog until you get the rhythm and master the changing of your feet.
Step 7
Move forward, and then to the right and to the left with the rest of your circle or square. This can also be done in a large line around a room

So there ya go… I can’t wait for the brandnew upcoming video, soon on a blog near you, “Fab and Turn go clogging”. Can you? I know! Right?

Clog Out!

* * *

If you have a minute to spare, please go over HERE and give Mah Girl some moral support. She could do with some. Life is not exactly a breeze for her right now.

Heart filled with allaya!

OK… I think I am back… sorta…

I was just getting over the last slithers of jetlag,  when yesterday I had to host the annual day out of the dept, which meant “herding” 50-something people thru the city center of Leiden. We had arranged for a boat trip thru the Leiden canals, then a workshop in Black Jack and Poker -I unexpectedly rawked at BlackJack and expectedly sucked ass at Poker- and then a BBQ at a local restaurant. It was all relaxed and good and judging by the emails received by the organizing committee everyone had an awesome time.

My mind is still halfway, somewhere over the Atlantic, right now. I am still basking in the emotions and feelings of ConFab, Baby! And yes, I know that the ones of you that were not there are probably getting sick of it right now but it was just a lot of fun. There are really no words to describe how awesome it was to meet up with everyone. I am still bouncing around on all those wonderful times that we had. I miss you all and some of you fiercely, fiercely, fiiieercely! I went over there with a lot of anticipation and came back with a heart filled with wonderful emotions of all the people I met, with joy on getting the opportunity to come over and meet you, with all the wonderful bloggers I hugged, laughed with, drank with, had fun with.  It was great to meet you and you are all SO welcome to visit me in Dutchyland anytime! If you ever have plans to come over here, let me know!

Me is a happy girl for having gotten to go on what has turned out to be one of the most wonderful trips of a life time, and all thanks to Brad and Turnbaby! I love you guys! And I miss you like cuh-razy!

OK, that’s it! I am coming back over there RIGHT NOW! Someone call The Chief and tell him I won’t be back in the office. I am off to pick up The Kid and catch the next plane out of here!

I wish… Sigh…

It’s back to life, normal regular life, but with a lot of new memories, great memories of all of you! and you! and you! and you!

Now I need coffee… loads of it…