He informed me he would be travelling to The Hague in Dutchyland end of September…

And invited me to join him for a week of bliss, romantic dinners, holding hands and…

* drumroll *

“Lots of sexy time”

* crickets *

I informed him that I was not looking for a 3rd job…

And suggested to him that he might want to contact an escort service instead…

…

Seriously dude… does that REALLY work for you?

.

The Online Dating Site

* shock! *

* horror! *

I have carefully rewritten my old profile to make sure it’s clear I am NOT just looking for a roll in the hay. That I AM a person that needs her own space at times, but NOT the kind of girl for a casual fling or an “open relationship”. That I am looking for that man that wants commitment but that also is ok with giving eachother some space within that. Not to screw around but just to do our own thing.

I really don’t know where this is going to go because, as expected, as I find myself wading through tons and tons of fucktard messages of men who clearly have not even taken the time to read my profile or whatever… to find that one “gem”… I am still not sure he’s out there…

I’ve decided to have a look around for a month or so… and I promise, I will really put myself out there and really give it a try… Really…

But I am not making any promises…

And I am staying the hell away from men that tell me they “would love to share breakfast with me sometime” or the inevitable young guys that tell me they would love to date “an older woman” (yeah great, that sounds like fun, except you might want to rephrase that and oh… check my profile and see that I am not into younger men). And I am also staying away with profiles that are named LonelyMan ‘n shit…

So there you go. If anything, this should be good for some blog fodder. Right?

Hold me?

“Why are they closing the roads?” I hear you ask. Oh yeah, that’s right. I didn’t tell you that yet. Because some crazy assholes on racing bikes need to get through the area. Yeah, hold on to your seats. It is because:

THE GIRO D‘ITALIA is coming through DUTCHYLAND!

No, your eyes are not deceiving you. You are not seeing things. I actually did say that. The Giro d’Italia‘s first stage is running through Dutchyland [click here for route]. Yeah I know. It makes NO sense, whatsoever. Why the hell does an Italian road bycicle race include a part that goes through Dutchyland? Gah! But it’s going on today. Tons of professional racing cyclists from all over the world will be racing and sweating and huffing and puffing through both the town I live in, and the city I work in. And as a result all the roads to and from there are going to be closed off.

Fingers crossed I won’t end up at the office * smirk * in the morning. That way I won’t have to worry about getting back home in the evening * smirk smirk *

I was at my desk, getting through the last stuff I had to do before I was out of there in half an hour. When I saw this weird, very shifty looking Crazy Lady speed by my desk, followed by one of the employees of one of the other departments on our floor. Crazy Lady ran into the office of one of my female bosses and then locked the door from the inside… with my boss in there!

From the other side of the hallway 2 of the medical center’s security guys came running. Apparently Crazy Lady had done the same in the office of the employee that was following her and she had already called security. The guys walked up to my boss’ office, looked through the window and then fortunately were able to use one of their master keys to open the office door…

In the office was Crazy Lady, looking all pissy and angry, sitting down on the floor, not talking, refusing to get out of there and Miss Boss Lady freaking out because of all the thoughts that had flashed through her head in the past few minutes about how she might not be leaving her office unharmed.

The security guys called the Psych ward and they requested them to leave her in the office, just talk to her and wait for the 2 male nurses they were sending over as apparently Crazy Lady had escaped the ward and was known for panicking easily and being quite the strong bitch when she does.

Then the 2 male nurses from the Psych ward arrived, one of the security guys found them a wheelchair, they lifted her in there and rolled her off back to the Psych ward… Looking all sorts of cross and pissy. After that a very trembly Miss Boss Lady came walking out of her office…

Though everything was handled awesomely by security guards and nurses and ultimately nothing bad happened, it was quite a scary thing actually. Our offices are a few floors down from the Psych ward and it happens at times that people walk on to the department. Mostly looking confused though. Nothing like this before, someone actually escaping and locking herself in the offices.

After the first shock wore off (“OMFG I thought she was gonna pull a knife and cut me up into little pieces or summin! Shit!”) we pissed ourselves laughing as it had somewhat of a slapstick feel to it. It is definetely one of the weirdest things I have experienced in this hell hole we call office, I can tell you that…

And I feel so sorry for Crazy Lady… It must be horrible to be so psyched out of your mind that you feel so paranoid that you try to escape… I will never forget the look in her eyes when they wheeled her off… She looked angry but in her eyes there was so much confusion as well… So sad…

Tomorrow there’s local elections in Dutchyland. In which we vote for our local councils that we have here. I am surely going to vote as I am very interested in having my vote weigh in on some local issues. Like for instance the plans to expand the activities of the local tourist attraction in my backyard: The Keukenhof. Which will go at the cost of the land they are now using for parking… Can you feel that one? Yeah…

I believe in the right to vote. I also believe in the duty to vote, if you are allowed to and capable to do so. I am one of those people who thinks that no matter if it’s local elections or national elections, if you have a voting pass (and thus are allowed to vote) you should vote. And at the very least I feel that if you decide NOT to vote, you have no right to bitch and moan about politics afterwards, which many of the non-voters I know tend to do…

I am not usually an incredibly politically engaged person. It’s not a favorite subject of mine. But I do think that anyone who has a right to vote should at least use that right and thus try to engage in politics at least to the extent that they can make a weighed decision on what to vote.

Because for the 4th time our government tripped and fell before their term was up, there’s also now going to be national elections early June. Many of the people I know are going to vote. But about an equal number of people told me they will not go vote. Because “it makes no difference whether they vote or not anyway, what’s one vote?” – One vote is one vote. And if everyone thinks that way one lost vote turns into many lost votes. Or they won’t vote because “they don’t know what to vote” – Go to one of the numerous voting tests on the internet. Give your opinion on many political and social issues in Dutchyland and it will tell you at the very leást which way you are “leaning towards”.

The reason why this is such a big issue for me and it worries me that people in Dutchyland seem to have an increasingly apathetic attitude towards politics (and this coming from a not incredibly politically engaged person is saying something) is because I see in the polls what this is moving towards: Extreme right wing parties are starting to rapidly move up in the pre-election polls. Which is in a way to be expected. Because they always do when a country sinks into this kind of political apathy. And I seriously do not want to be living in a country that is ruled by an extreme right wing party and have THIS be our prime minister. And trust me, this is not a joke. It is a VERY real possibility that Dutchyland will have an extreme right wing largest political party in 4 months… And it is scaring the shit out of me…

So people, for God’s sake: get your heads out of your asses and get informed on the current political climate and the party programs. Take the internet tests. Get your voting pass. Register and VOTE! For God’s sake: VOTE!!!

THE HAGUE, Netherlands – Thirteen-year-old Laura Dekker wants to become the youngest person to sail solo around the world, and her parents think that’s a great idea.But the Dutch Council for Child Protection is so concerned about the dangers of the marathon voyage it has asked a court to grant it temporary custody of Laura so it can do what her parents refuse to: Halt the trip.

Judges at Utrecht District Court were to announce Friday whether they will scupper Laura’s record-breaking plans. In the meantime, the legal battle has ignited a wide-ranging debate even in this traditionally seafaring nation about the role that parents should play in their children’s risky adventures.

My opinion(s) on this issue?

• This girl is completely naive and her parents are complete nutters
• A 13 year old is not emotionally full grown enough to endure the problems, loneliness and crises that come along with solo-sailing around the world. Not only her parents but also the girl herself are refusing to realize that.
• A 13 year old girl is not old enough to make decisions like that.
• Any parent who would allow their child to do such a thing is either a fucking shit parent and/or plotting to get rid of their kid and deserves to have any parental rights being taken away from them.
• I HOPE court decides to go ahead and forbid her trip.

Some people are just nuts and should not be parents… Seriously!

It’s my cellphone ringing. The song is my current ringtone. I dig through my handbag (yes, it’s one of those with just the one large pocket in there, and it has my whole life in it, as we girls tend to do) for the cellphone and I find it, I look at the screen and it is ex-FWB. From a looong time ago. We were FWB’s for about 2 years. It ended about 4 years ago and we just kept in touch. Until about a year ago when I hooked up with The Guy. I have pretty much not heard from him since.

I ask you, where the hell do all those feckers come from? They are crawling out of all possible cracks and hidden spaces in the past few months? HOW!?! I mean, most of them don’t know any of my friends, have not been told by me that I am single again (for apparent reasons) and still they are oozing out of every corner getting back in touch with me. Do they have a radar for that shit? Guys? Do you have a radar for that shit? Seriously!

I decide for once to pick up the phone as I am quite curious as to what has given him the incentive to call me after a year. Yeah, I know, curiosity killed the cat, but I am not a cat.

ex-FWB: “Hello? DutchBitch?”
DB: “Yes”
ex-FWB: “Hey! So how’s life?”
DB: “Um, sorry? You are out of touch with me for almost a year and you want to know how life is?”
ex-FWB: “Yeah, sorry about that. You know how things go, I was busy and shit”
DB: “I don’t know how that goes, I try to keep in touch with my friends. But anyway, life is ok”
ex-FWB: “Yeah with me too. Busy with setting up the business, all kinds of things going on. Lots of stress, my back killing me again, stuff like that”
DB: “Well, sorry to hear”
ex-FWB: “So you are doing ok?” (read; “are you still with that guy?”)
DB: “Yeah, I am. Busy at work too. The Kid is doing great at school and started basketball. And I have been off on a few nice weekends away recently, so I am all good”
ex-FWB: “Weekends away, huh? Anything fun?” (read: “who with? what did you do? were you with that guy?)
DB: “So… what made you call me?”
ex-FWB: “Oh, nothing in particular, just stuff” (read: “I have an itch that needs taking care of”)
DB: “Stuff?”
ex-FWB: “Soooooooooo… are you still with that guy? The American?”
DB: “No”
ex-FWB: “Not? Oh, I am sorry to hear (no he’s not). Are you ok about it?”
DB: “Yes, I am”
ex-FWB: “Soooooooo.. anyone new in your life?”
DB: “No”
ex-FWB: “Soooooo how about we…”
DB: “Soooooo, how’s the wife and kids?”
ex-FWB: “They are fine, but I don’t want to talk about them”
DB: “Yes, I got that part. But we’re not going there”
ex-FWB: “Why not? We had fun back in the days”
DB: “Back in the days needs to stay back in the days”
ex-FWB: “Sheesh, you have changed your tune”
DB: “If I remember correctly we were done being FWB’s a few years ago and then were just friends. I also remember that in the mean time you got married and fathered 2 children, right?”
ex-FWB: “Right”
DB: “So… how is that me changing my tune?”
ex-FWB: “I just miss you”
DB: “Give my love to your wife, Hon. Seriously, we are not getting back to that ever. Now was that all you wanted to talk to me about? ”
ex-FWB: *inaudible*

Needless to say that I have not heard from him in almost 2 months now. And there’s a few more like that, that have crawled out of the woodworks… I call them “The Cock-Roaches”. I think that is an appropriate term for them, don’t you think? I have no clue what the hell has put the bright idea into their heads to look up my number and give me a call… It’s not getting them anywhere though. The past is the past is the past. I am moving forward, not backwards!

Why is it always the nasty fuckers I have to beat off with a stick and never the nice ones with good intentions!?… Oh, that’s right. I forgot about the “Fucktard Magnet” part that comes with being “me“… SIGH…

Until I became single again…

And then it started: the hints… the double meaning lines… the constant texting… the constant IM-ing… It was driving me nuts… Even when I said that I was away for the weekend, to spend some time with a great girlfriend in London, because I needed it… he couldn’t leave me alone. Texts before I left, texts while I was at the airport waiting to leave, texts when I had arrived in the UK, texts while I was in the UK, texts when my ass had just touched down on Dutchyland soil again…Texts when I was at the board meeting all day yesterday… Texts this morning even before I got up…

I cancelled the date.

I am not ready for that. For someone to be all over me. For someone to smother me with all kinds of messages and shit all day and night. And certainly not for someone to “assume” things, just because I am single. And even if I was ready for “it”, I will never be ready for the kind of man that can never leave you the fuck in peace for a second…I don’t do well with the “Constantly In Your Face” kinda guy…

Just sayin…

It started a few days ago… I started getting weird phone calls again… at night… on my cellphone… Heavy breathing when I picked up, or just silence, or stuff like “cunt” or “whore”…

So I decided to shut off my cellphone for a while. I did that last time, after The Guy suggested I’d do that, and at the time it worked. It didn’t this time. Hell No, it didn’t. Because he immediately switched to my landline. My UNREGISTERED landline. A phone number that I hardly give out. That is only given out to immediate family, close friends and The Kid’s school and daycare. And then when the next day I alsó found a note in my mailbox saying “I will call again tonight“… I broke down… Because that means he not only knows my phonenumbers, but also where I live…

It all has scared the fuck out of me in the past week… I am pretty sure this means that it’s either someone I know or someone that has access to information through people I know…

I went to the police and they basically told me to “wait it out for a bit” as usually “after a while they give up“. Well, ex-cu-se me! That is fucking easy for a big stocky pumped up GUY police officer to say! I was furious! I am not easily scared. I am not a drama queen. I already reported having a phone stalker before. Sheesh! What do they need? A knife in my chest with a note attached “Kind Regards, Stalker Was Here“?

Fortunately I have an ex-cop girlfriend who used to work at the station here in town. I called her, she called her ex-colleagues, which resulted in me finally yesterday going to the policestation to have this thing investigated. They are now monitoring my phonelines and taking their surveillance past my apartmentbuilding as much as they can. And have told me all the do’s and don’ts in this situation.

I have forbidden every family member, friend and colleague to give out any information about me if anyone they don’t know asks. I try to go about my business as usual as much as I can, but looking over my shoulder 10 times as much as I used to. I let my family know when I go out, I let them know where I am going, I let them know when I’ve departed and again when I’ve arrived.

I am a mix of scared and totally pissed off that I have to change my lifestyle because some sick fuck has decided to invade my life. I hate feeling like this! Don’t worry. I will be careful. I know to go stay somewhere else when my gutt feeling tells me to. I know to not go home alone late at night.

And I probably blew his eardrum when he called last night (cuz he did keep his promise and called again)… I blew the whistle on him… I mean, literally. I took one of the nasty loud whistle toys from The Kid and blew it at him as loud as I could when he called. I think I heard him drop his phone and then I lost connection. I hope he’s deaf in one ear now. Fucker! He didn’t call back, so aside from having been working until 2.30 a.m., I finally got a few hours of sleep last night.

No worries, I will take good care of myself and be very careful. And I’ll keep you posted if they catch the bastard. Shit, I am só angry. What the fuck gives any person the right to invade another persons life like that!

So Mr Piece of Shit. If you are listening, I have a message for you. You are NOT gonna get to me. I am NOT letting you. And you are a fucking piece of shit! You are THIS tiny *pointing out very tiny* to me. If this is what you need to feel superior and powerful, you deserve to have your balls cut off!

There was no collision but a near one, which infuriated the guy coming up to me. He was right. It was a bad call on my part, I apologized to him… BUT, in the mean time a whole jam of traffic had built up behind me which made me be stuck in between his car and the jam behind me… who started honking their horns already… I rolled down my window… apologized again to the guy and asked him if he could scoot his car back up a few feet so I could get past him and solve the jam piling up behind me…

He refused!

I know, I know… it was obviously my fault… but I was stuck there now… I had already perfusely apologized to him, he had NO cars behind him… I had about a kazillion behind me, I could not move forward, not move back… and if he’d only move a few feet, all would be solved…

That bugs me… I mean, he was absolutely right that it was a stupid thing to do on my part but to be ass-stubborn to make your point that you should be the first one to pass now and therefore pile up a whole traffic jam that, if he doesn’t move, won’t go away by itself… That’s just STOOPID to me… It’s not because I need to have my way… It’s because if there is only one way to solve a problem… Just get over your stupid pride and get your head out of your ass and move!

He didn’t. He just rolled back up his window… made hand gestures that I should be the one to back up (to WHERE, motherfucker!?!?!?) and then decided upon intimidatingly staring at me…

Oh HELL NO! The intimidation thing? NOT a good thing with this bitch. Nu Uh… Intimidation cost me a lot, personally, a few years ago when I let a few people intimidate me into the worst situation a woman can be in. It took me a long time to get myself back together and it sometimes still comes back to haunt me… and well, I don’t “do well” on the intimidation thing at all ever since… It erks me… no, bugs me… no, infuriates me to n.o. e.n.d.!!! Cuz no matter what: intimidation is a bad thing… It’s a thing only people with their arrogant heads up their asses do to people that they feel are inferior to them…

So… with all the kazillion cars behind me honking… I opened my door and got out of my tiny car… and walked up to his big ass Beamer… and tapped his window… with the utmost coolness that I could provide… He looked up kinda weird… as if he had not expected the little woman to come up to him… He rolled down his window just a little bit… (was thís asshole too scared to roll it down further!? bwahahahaha). And this is what came out of my mouth:

“Listen.. you PRICK! I REALIZE that it was not the best call to try and dash in front of your car just now… YOU however know that I already apologized for that, MULTIPLE times”

he tried to mutter something that started with “but” and I didn’t let him…

“Ehm… NOPE. This is the part where you listen and I talk. See that jam behind my car? You KNOW that blocks me from backing up. See that void behind YOURS?… You know that it would be easy for you to back up. So even though you are right about the fact that I shouldn’t have tried to cross the road at that particular time, when you were approaching, kindly get your ARROGANT HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS and back the fuck up! The intimidation thing, where you stare at me from the closed window in the secure surroundings of the INSIDE of your car is NOT gonna work. If we have a stare stand off, we are gonna be here for a LONG time. That is unless we get killed off by the Mob behind me first… MOVE FUCKER!”

He rolled his window back up… he moved… then I passed him… and the whole jam behind me passed him and all was peaceful again in Dutchyland…