R.I.P. Charlie

RIP Charlie * 18/7/92 – 19/8/10

She knew it was coming up sooner than later, but now that it has happened, it’s a bitch. My wonderful British friend Lady Penelope has had to have her ancient cat Charlie euthanised the other day.

The times I visited Penelope Manor that bugger Charlie was always around. He was old, kinda fluffy and sticky, drinking from the kitchen tap. Mostly minding his own business really. Sweet old guy…

So for you, old old kitty cat: GOODBYE

And for you, sweet sweet Penelope, Master P and Miss P: *HUG*

Oh and Lady P? Look! –> * raindancing * !

Wish you were still here…

Another year has passed.

We have been living without you here for 14 years now.

I miss you, my sister and brother in law miss you, your wife misses you.

Your grandchildren whom you never got to know miss you…

Wish you were still here…

A Hard Decision

I have had to stand up for myself just now… and I did…

I have had to tell someone that I truly loved once, that I can’t deal with him anymore… that I can’t be in touch with him anymore… because he’s hurt me more than I can possibly voice towards him…

I have had to tell him that I truly don’t care about the reasons for it anymore, the explanations, whether or not he set out to hurt me or never meant to… as no matter what he has to say and no matter what explanations he has… it doesn’t change the fact that he has in fact hurt me… very much…

That what I thought was about “us”, was in hindsight mostly about “him” and that I almost allowed myself to lose “me” in the process… And that’s a shocking thing…

That I have reached the point of no return… that I can’t deal with it anymore, not even as friends… That the explanations, the apologies, the whateverelses won’t cut it anymore… That I can no longer deal with “us” in any way, shape or form… That I need peace and quiet from him and I have to move on… That it is too late to apologize or to explain…

So I chose ME… I chose my son… I chose to move on and leave this thing behind me… Which was very hard for me, as I am really not that easy about letting people go and cutting ties… But ya know… In this case I had to… Life is too short to keep setting myself up for hurt… Seriously…

Thirteen years…

Wow… I miss you…

I can’t believe it’s been 13 years already…

T.h.i.r.t.e.e.n years since I last saw you,

last heard your voice,

last felt your embrace

Love you, Dad!