The Dutch Files

I spent my coming down from a high weekend mostly vegetating on the couch and tweaking the blog, blogdoctah-ing for others, downloading new plugins, fucking around with avatars, comment preview, and downloading updates for my laptop virusscan (holy fucking shit, those programs are thé devil: I had to install that 3 times before it would actually work!)…

So if you have paid attention to this blog’s comment section you will have noticed that I have finally gotten ’round to publishing y’all avatars with the comments. But holy cow! There’s a lot of y’all that actually have no avatar, is there? As you have noticed that means that you are now a person with a bag over their head, avatar-wise. If you would like a personal avatar to appear with your comments on ány blog, go to www.gravatar.com and download your personal avatar. It dead-easy, I promise you, to register one over there and it links to the email address you use in comment forms (so be sure to register that particular email address) and it will make my comments section look so much more colorful! It will be like you are all visiting me in person… well, sorta anyway…

Also got around to dowloading Live Comment Preview, so you can see what your comment is gunna look like after you click the “Publish” button. I thought that was a nice feature too. I know many of you already had that, but this was one of the things that I still hadn’t gotten ’round to.

And I got assistance from The Guy last week in downloading WP-User Online and IP@nation plugins so I can now see your ass when you are reading or lurking around on my blog! Yep! You bettah believe it! Big DutchBitch is Watching You! Heh!

All the plugins that I use are now neatly put together in the PlugIn’s page (see tab “Plugins“). Check it out if you like and holler if you need assistance in putting any of them on your own blog. Most of you are total blog wizards, already have all the plugins and more nor need my humble assistance, I know, but if you do, no need to hesitate!

Tried to get more hang of my cpanel at the hosting service and I think I got a tad more understanding of it again than I used to have. So I am ready to host other blogs on there now, I think.

Got some fun banner work done for a few bloggy friends, like this one. I tweaking banners and themes. I couldn’t code a theme or template design from scratch, though, if my life depended on it. Hail to the people like Tattooed Momma who can do that shit.

Reloaded my Boost application for Facebook. That one is fun! You can customize your Facebook page (unfortunately only for you to see) and can receive pop up messages of anything action of your friends -customizable in the settings, thru the Boost toolbar- like when people are changing their status message, friend requests, and whatever else. Me likey! I had downloaded it before and then deactivated it, but I decided to reactivate it again.

Shame Boost doesn’t set off a “you are about to be ticketed in Parking Wars-alarm“. Still, while you were sleeping (hurray for time zones!) I did earn 2 new badges on there. Hell Yeah, I managed 100 consecutive cash ins without getting a ticket ánd parked 5 cars illegally on Ginormous Boobs street without her even noticing, earning me the “outlaw” badge. And I am pretty sure she didn’t feel any of it… seriously! I managed to get in and out without even brushing those Ginormous Boobs (and I can tell ya: it’s not easy maneuvering 5 cars past such boobs, ya know!)

So I guess you could say I pretty much had a Tech / Facebook weekend… I think I am pretty much up to date with my tech shit for now… Until I obviously get itchy again and need to change things around and add stuff and ya know… It’s like Blog PMS… I guess…

I might be too good for this world in some respect(s)… Then, on the other hand…

…

Guess who came to hand in her registration for our annual course on Clinical Epidemiology?

It was THIS ONE…

Yeah, exactly… Heh!

Registration for our March course is closing in a few weeks, on December 1, so traditionally we’re experiencing a last minute (well, last weeks) rush… She came walking into our department and walked up to one of my colleagues asking for me… I immediately recognized her and I alsó recognized the form she was holding… My colleague pointed at me and she walked up to me…

She walked up to my office and said: “Yes, Hi. Are you DutchBitch? I am X and I am here to hand in registration for the March course on clinical epidemiology“. I looked up to her and said: “Yes, I am“.

And then when she handed over the form it happened… She looked straight into my face and she froze… And then she turned red… and some other colors… and I am pretty sure she either wet or shit, or maybe even both, her pants…

OMFG! How I would’ve loved to know what went thru that pretty lil’ head… *satanic laughter*

She handed me the form and stumbled over her words… “So ehm… there is a selection committee, right? Ehm… who exactly is in that committee and when will we be informed about their decision?“. I decided to play out my first hand and said: “Who is in the committee is confidential and when you will be informed is in the course information that came with the form“. Then she said a polite “thank you” and she walked off…. well, she staggered off actually… she tripped… over nothing…

I ALMOST did my Dr Evil laughter when she walked off… Well, I DID do it… in my mind… I hope she gets selected. That surely will make for an interesting course week in March… Cuz I always join the teaching staff on the course for the practical organization… And if she’s selected to participate in the course and I am there too… Her sorry ass is mine!!!

Muaaaaaahhahahahahahaha Muaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Muaaahahhahahahahahahahahaaaaaaha!

So ehm… I was watching the “Madagascar” dvd with The Kid the other night and something dawned on me…

I think we all know the person that the zebra was based upon! We know him very well actually… In fact, I’ve met him…

I mean, look at the signs:

The zebra is kinda goofy…. well, kinda… alottagoofy…

He dreams of giving the zoo director the finger and breaking out into the natural wild…

The story is situated in the Central Park Zoo, in New York…

The zebra spends part of his time during the day making farting sounds with his armpits…

And how about the way he strutss his stuff on the BeeGee’s “Stayin’ Alive”?

And the ultimate clue: the crazy zebra’s named MARTY!!!

I mean, WTF? What are the odds?

He lives in NY, nobody can say he’s nót goofy, he would love to fuck over his asshole boss and venture out by himself, he was strutting his stuff continuously when we were walking thru Amsterdam when he was here -flirting with the riot police, and well… the armpit thing I’ve never experienced myself but I can SO see him doing it!!!

Yeah, he probably kept things quiet cuz he didn’t want everyone making a fuss over his celebrity status… Well, I outed him now! Marty’s the Man Zebra!

…

On the other hand… It’s the giraffe Melman that has the Jewish last name… (Mankiewicz)…

And come to think of it… It’s the monkeys that spend their time throwing poo…

So some of ya might have noticed I installed anti-spam words in the comments section. The ladies and gents comment spammers were drivin’ me up the wall. Y’all must know from personal experience that especially any post relating in any remote way to sex, drugs or body parts will generate a shitload of spam comments…

So I was called out on by a certain someone who wanted to pick my brain ‘cuz of the anti-spam words I had chosen for my blog. We won’t call any names but WTF does anyone going by a four letter alias, showing a bare man thigh on his blog, and entitling one of his last posts “The Second Coming” have to say about anything like that at all *snort* And Hon… you can pick my brain any time… If only you knew the anti-spam words that didn’t make the cut… Holy Cow!

So just to explain: all the spamwords chosen have to do with lill’ ol’ DutchBitch me and The Dutch Files… Read up on all of the 1.5 years it’s been around and you’ll know.

I looked around for some anti-spam methods before deciding on one and I came across the Blogger Word Verification scheme. Now, I am asking you: WTF is the deal with the one making up the anti-spam word system of Blogger!!!

I used to belong to the ranks of Blogger bloggers and I’ve never gotten any of those spam words. Now, I do realize that English is not my native language (STFU! I knów, so don’t start calling me out on spelling or grammar mistakes on the blog, fuck that, deal with it!) but those words?!?!?! I’ve tried using some in Scrabulous on Facebook and they didn’t do much good on there…

So what’s the deal here? It must be a fucking secret language amongst the Blogger scene… The programmers, the operators, the customer service, or whatever… Hasn’t any of you ever thought about what you’re typin’ in that little box? Do you ever? For all you know you are part of some secret code scene getting ultraclassified messages across the internet! Doesn’t anyone care? These guys, cuz it’s gotta be guys, might be fucking us up without us having a clue… We might be propositioned for the weirdest stuff and typing in those weird fucked up codes may be a way of saying “Hell Yes!”…

I dunno… I’m not sure if we should be abiding by this weird word verification scheme… And while you think that over… I’ll be off thinking of some more appropriate DutchBitch style anti-spam words for ya!