The Dutch Files

Remember the big office related news that I was announcing on Sunday? Wanna hear it? Cuz I finally can tell you… So? Sitting down?

*drumroll*

B.A.C.K.S.T.A.B.B.I.N.G B.I.T.C.H. I.S. L.E.A.V.I.N.G. !!!

Hang on, just for a mo, lemme catch my breath here, cuz I am exhausted of all the happy dances I’ve been doing over the past days… Whew…

Yup! She is leaving our department. She found herself a new job. Unfortunately her new job won’t steer me clear from her completely, as she is moving to the Schooling Dept which I cooperate with to arrange our annual Clinical Epidemiology course on Schiermonnikoog with.. and obviously my worst nightmare would be for her to get MY course in HER portfolio over there… Something that The Chief felt was a good idea to joke about at the weekly dept meeting, when she announced her departure: “Ha! You could take up the Schier course at your new job and you and DutchBitch can work on that together”… HAD I been at that particular meeting (I wasn’t, I was meeting up with the managing director to review the dept move), I would have kicked his shins to hell ‘n back!!! But oh well, at least she’s out of our department… and soon!

Officially she needs to give her notice 2 months ahead. However, her future employer would prefer her to start Nov 1. I told her that I would have no problem with her leaving Nov 1, so that was all said and done: she resigned per the first of November.

Obviously a Backstabbing Bitch never loses her tricks and an hour after I felt like I was already being fucked over by her. This current and probably next week she’ll be working part time due to some health issues. She’s having treatment for her eyes which makes it impossible for her to work all day. That’s fine. I already knew about that. However, just an hour after OK-ing her resignation, which is 5 weeks from now, I heard her talk to one of my colleagues saying that she planned to also take another week off before she leaves….

HELL TO THE NO!

There’s only 5 weeks to go before she leaves. She’s working parttime for 2 of those. There is a shit load of work for her to finish and hand over to me. She’s organizing 2 fairly big events for the department that are taking place in the weeks after she leaves. We are still clearing up the moving stuff and getting the secretariat together, and I will be off for a week as well before she leaves… There is NO way in hell that she’s gonna be allowed to get a week’s vacation in before she goes.

So I told her in no uncertain terms, that there is no time off to be taken before she leaves. To say that she’s not happy about that restriction would be the understatement of the year. But I told her the way it is: we are allowing her to leave 2 weeks prior to her mandatory term of notice. In return we agreed that she’d finish up her work and hand it over to me in an organized manner and she needs to work her hours until she leaves. NO time off…

Anyone wanna put money on her calling in sick in her last week?

Well, honestly, even though I am not letting her get away with her shit even up until the day that she is actually leaving, I am happy that she’s at least finally going, moving her ass, getting outta here, fucking off, on a one way ticket outta here, exit!!! Good riddens to her and i wish her future employer a hell of a shitload of luck… Not my problem any longer…

CTRL+ALT+DEL

Gaaaawwwdddd, I am SO done with this post-move shit at the office. Yesterday I again spent the bigger part of the day unpacking boxes and getting all our regular procedures and shit up and running again at the new location. And it’s not done by a long shot.

I got the secretariat mostly cleared out and set up and I spent 2 hours yesterday getting all the backlog of work, stacks of filing work, financial work, HR work and stuff sorted. I didn’t get around to doing any of it yet but at least I have an overview of what is on my desk again. I still need to work through over half of the filing cabinets that have been moved to the new location. I had the files unpacked, but they need to be put in different filing folders (the old ones don’t fit in the new cabinets) and in order. I’ll have to get around to that within the next few weeks, I guess, as today I really really really want to get back to normal business again. I need to!

I told all employees that this week is their last chance to have move-related practical stuff arranged, to have move-related stuff ordered. On Wednesday the last of our new furniture is being delivered and after that it’s done. Then I just have to wait for the meeting rooms and their AV’s to be operational (probably Nov 1) and things are “back to normal”…

However, some things just can’t be changed or arranged, and I am having trouble with the amount of people having a hard time accepting that… Like I said before, some people feel that my “NO” is some kind of personal vendetta towards them… Let me just give you some excerpts of the wonderful conversations that are part of my office life these days…

[Employee1 putting drill against one of the office walls]
DB: “Um.. STOP! Didn’t you read the memo about it NOT being allowed to drill holes in the office walls?”
E1: “I did”
DB: “So, enlighten me. Why is your drill placed on your office wall, ready to drill a hole in it”
E1: “I need to hang a framed picture”
DB: “Ehmm… did you read the WHOLE memo? Because in there was also the part about the other system to hang pictures and stuff. See [pointing towards wall].. thát system”
E1: “I did, but I just don’t like that system”
DB: “Well, I am sorry you don’t like it but that still does not allow you to drill a hole in the wall. Get that drill away from the wall right now”
E1: “But nobody has to know”
DB: “I will know and as I am responsible for this whole location, I am telling you you can NOT drill a hole in the wall”
E1: “But…”
DB: “NO!” [sheeeesh!]

Employee2: “DB? I want to have one of these built-in cabinets moved. I want to have it put on the other side of the office”
DB: “I am sorry, that’s just not possible”
E2: “Not possible!? Why not?”
DB: “Well, as you said yourself, they are the built-in kind. They are built into the office. They are not the kind of cabinets that can be moved around”
E2: “But I am sure they can detach it and move it”
DB: “No, they can’t”
E2: “But it’s in the way!”
DB: “Look, I told you about this at the time when we asked everyone to CHECK whether their built-in cabinets were in the right place on the drawings of your office, before they were put in. I told you then to check it thoroughly as after that it could not be changed”
E2: “But are you sure that they can’t move it?”
DB: [in my mind rolling my eyes out of my sockets] “I am sure”

Employee3 (of different department): “Who handles reservations for the meeting rooms?”
DB: “I do, but the meeting rooms are not ready for use yet. Probably not until Nov 1, so I am not taking reservations yet until we are sure”
E2: “OK”
[2 days later]
E3: “I know you said you do not take reservations yet for the meeting rooms, but can I make just 2 reservations for weekly meetings, before anyone else gets in there?”
DB: “No, like I said, I am not taking reservations until we know when the meeting rooms are ready for use. Besides, they are closing down one of the other meeting rooms in the medical center and, order of the Board of Directors, are switching the meetings from there to our meeting rooms. I first need to put those in the schedule and only after that I can take new reservations”
E3: “But… can’t you do it just for me?”
DB: “No”
E3: “So when?”
DB: “As soon as I know when, I will let all of you know by email”
32: “Any idea when that will be?”
DB: “No”
E3: “So I can’t make ány reservations before that?”
DB: “No“

It’s like handling a basketball court full of toddlers who won’t take “NO” for an answer and are stomping their feet because you are “no fun”. I come from a teaching family and sometimes I really have to ask myself what it was that made me decide NOT to go into teaching and get involved in this line of work… Because sometimes… Holy Shit!

I think I’ll have a poster made, have it framed and mount that on the new poster system on our walls:

! NO means NO !

Listen to me, accept what I tell you, I know what I am talking about. And besides: I am ALWAYS right! You can ask The Guy.

OK it’s done, well almost…

I hauled boxes around for another day, got some assistance unpacking them, tried to do “regular” work in between.

Rushed after the other employees to get their shit unpacked. Made inventory on what practical stuff still needs to be done around the offices. Cuty my finger open on some of the stuff I moved from one office to another.

Kept some employees from drilling into the walls to hang stuff (I wish that for once they would read the fucking emails I send them about what is allowed and what not). I had a huge argument with one of the employees because apparently if I tell them something is not allowed or cannot be arranged, to them that means that I am on a personal vendetta against them. Never mind that it might just be that I was told we can’t by the medical center’s Power That Be…

I made sure everything was cleaned up, the hallways were cleared, and shit like that as yesterdayafternoon we had the “opening” reception for the new department and well, the Powers That Be were gonna be there (read: the Board of Directors of the medical center) and after spending hundreds of thousands of euros of their money I could hardly show them around at a dirty cluttered floor.

I had two 1 hour meetings somewhere in between all this mess and had to damage control someone else’s ass which took me another hour… and then I realized that that dizzy feeling I had… was because running around and doing all that shit while clearly ill is not a good idea… And that talking all day with hardly any voice is taking it out of me even more… and that forgetting to have lunch isn’t helping either…

And then I passed out on the floor of The Chief’s office…

I FUCKING PASSED OUT!!!

I never pass out. Well, unless it’s nasty icky wound related, which for some odd reason I can’t stand (I can stand watching all kinds of surgery, including on the brain, on TV but for some reason I can’t stand looking at a cut in my finger… sigh)

No worries, I came to right away and was up on my feet even before he came in. But the clear white-as-a-sheet complexion forced me to tell him what had happened anyway… Holy Fucking Shit I am so spent… I actually nearly fell asleep behind my desk twice yesterday…

So I ate something, then hung around for the opening reception. Got a HUGE bouquet of flowers [click it] from The Chief for all the fucking work I have done for over 1.5 year getting this new floor built and everyone (our dept and 9 other depts) moved. Then I went home with The Kid, had dinner, we snuggled up on the couch, and *poof* I fell asleep…

Only to be woken up by a text message from The Chief saying that I was NOT to come into the office today. That he would have me escorted out by security and taken home to rest if I had the nerve to show up… That I should just crash and rest and be sure to consume copious amounts of alcohol while doing so… Well, I guess it’s doctor’s orders…. heh

So I am home for the day. The Kid has the day off school as there’s a Fall Fair going on in the town where he goes to school. So we’ll be taking it slow today. As I write this I am still in bed at almost 8 a.m. and The Kid has fired up his PC and is gaming. We’ll be going to the Fair this p.m. I think… and other than that I am gonna spend this weekend trying to get my body back together…

Don’t worry, I’ll live. I’ll be fine. I am fine. I am just glad this whole fucking move is almost done. There’s some loose ends to be tied up, there’s some last boxes to unpack and then I can finally move on to regular business again. I can’t wait!

Can’t write much because I am in the middle of my day long business meeting. Just breakin’ into the society’s network for a minute to let you guys know that I have arrived after a fairly uneventful flight… and spend my afternoon, evening and night doing things that were loooong overdue…

Right now I could not be happier… we’re together again… And it’s more wonderful than words could ever express!!!

Yeah, I know, we look like a couple-a-dorks in this picture… It’s the blissful look in our eyes causing that, I think… Well, that and the fact that we áre a couple of dorks… I guess… heh…

I just have to get through 3-4 hours of meetings and then the rest of my visit here will be for the two of us to spend time together. The Chief is allowing me to skip tonights dinner and tomorrow’s and Wednesday morning’s meeting. See, this is why I love working for that man…

It’s crunch time today… the last day of packing up the department… the last day of arranging the move for next Monday… the last day to tackle the numerous last minute problems and isssues that surfaced this week…

It has been the fucking Week from Hell! Seriously. I don’t think work-wise I’ve had many worse weeks than this one. I spent 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. at the office damage controlling, running after people to get their shit packed and everything done (I am definetely not the most popular person at the office right now), doing our own packing at the secretariat and datamanagement, packing up the bosses’ offices, damage controlling some more… and then going home, picking up The Kid, having dinner, put The Kid to bed and then from home doing the regular office work that I have no chance doing during the day… I think both Monday and Tuesday I put my head down on my pillow at about 02.00 a.m. and yesterday at 01.30 a.m.

I’ve been calling the medical centers couriers service about 6 times/day because a “very important package” is on its way to the US and they fucked up by having it stuck in Brussels, Belgium for 3 days now… Finally, after 2.5 days they found that that was due to a lost invoice, something that cóuld have been fixed within 5 mins… But ya know, it’s just not thát kinda week.. that things get fixed in 5 mins…

The department looks like a fucking warzone… Boxes everywhere, junk that needs to be disposed off everywhere. I keep having to correct people who try to stuff their boxes with shit that we agreed upon throwing away.. Seriously! I am working with 40 hoarders! Sheesh! We had to get pictures off the wall that were stuck on there with double sided tape, ending up with holes in the fucking walls… Well, see if I care, we’re out of there on Monday and after that they are bulldozing the place, so who gives a shit, right?

Today is my last day in the office before The Big Move. On Monday, when the movers come over to haul 450 boxes and other shit to the new location (2 floors down), my ass will hopefully be in Raleigh, snuggling up to The Guy…

So yeah… tomorrow is crunch time… and then at 4 p.m. my ass is OUTTA THERE!!!

I will catch a train to Schiphol airport, check in my luggage, go through customs and then finally sit my ass down with a HUGE bucket of Starbucks heaven and take a break from it all and everyone, before I get on my plane to London, where I will be visiting Penelope!!! Yes, her and I are gonna be meeting up!!! From Fridaynight I will be coming “Live from Lady Penelope Manor”… She just informed me that she took the rats out of her daughters room, in which I will be staying. Gotta love her for that… Right? I mean, I bet she does not do that for just anyone, right?

And then on Sunday the woman is rushing me back to the airport early morning for me to check in for my flight to … Raleigh! Where I need to go for business purposes and hopefully will get to spend a few days with The Guy as well! Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! I managed to limit my business obligations to just Monday during the day and maybe dinner one of the nights I am there. Other than that The Chief, gotta love that man, is allowing me to spend my time with The Guy. But still keep your fingers crossed that nothing will fuck that up!!! I will believe it is happening, when I am physically jumping in his arms…

But first, to the office.. to bite some heads off… Wish me luck!

UPDATE in two word word sentences:

Rain Season

Insane Driving

Pink Room

Lots (of) Wine

Drunk Bitches

Long Cable

Both Bloggin

Neil Diamond