The Dutch Files

Can I just blurt out some BB related stuff?

Aiiiggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck!

@#!@@!!@@$$#%#!!!@@#@@!!!^%$&!!!!

Goddammit!

Arrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Cunt Cunt Cunt!

Grroaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrhhhhhhgggghhhhh

That’s all… just had to get that out…

KTHNXBI!

Saw this pass by on several blogs in the past days. And you know that I just hád to give it a try at some point, right?

I didn’t see anyones meter register a result as “badass” as mine…

I don’t know whether to feel proud or ashamed…

I’ll go for proud right now. Fuck Ashamed!

I was talking on IM the other day with one of my male blogging friends and “somehow” -heh- we got to the subject of shaving… which ended up into the further detailed subject of the shaving of pubic hair (Well, actually he said “public hair” but I am sure that was a Freudian slip of some kind. One I won’t get into in further detail here)…

Anyway. I shave over “there”… like many women do to some extent, most probably. So we got talking about how some people get off on their partner shaving ‘m over there. Yeah, I’ve heard about that. It’s not like I am all innocent and shit. I do know that some women (and men) do… Heh…

I don’t…

There is NO WAY IN HELL any of you guys are coming anywhere near my pubic area with any kind of sharp potentially slashing object… Na-Ah!

I am fine with a wide range of other objects or body parts coming near there when I am in the mood. And when I say “wide range”… well, there’s still so much to explore… *sigh* Umm… I digress… The razor? Keep it to yourself! You can bloody well fuck up your own family jewels with that.

So don’t go getting any ideas. There is only one person doing the shaving on this DutchBitch body and that is The DutchBitch herself. It’s just gunna be her own pretty DutchBitch hands that will be handling the razor in that delicate area of her private parts. No one else’s… And preferably under a hot steamy shower *sigh* *moan* *snapping out of it* Umm… what was I saying? Oh right, yes…
You can watch me do it for all I care, if you seriously get off on that… and I feel you deserve it… but keep your grubby paws to yourself during the act of shaving…

Cuz I knów how much a shaving cut hurts in that area… And trust me… there will be no sex for a week, at the very least, if there’s a cut in there…

You can chalk that one up to your list of “Important Things To Memorize If I Ever Plan To Sex Up The DutchBitch“. Sure, You’re welcome. Glad to be of service.

GaaaaawwwwwdDammitFuck I’m horny… I mean reaaaaallly horny… Horny horny… capital “H”Horny… Do you grasp the severity of the horny-ballparc I am in?

I just thought I’d tell ya… So you know… ya know…

I’m considerate like that, keeping you informed about the DutchBitch Status. I know you love me for that.

Did I tell you I am überHorny? I am…

I can hardly think of anything else… I feel like touching myself all day… All the time… That’s pretty annoying when you need to do laundry, ironing, cooking… and all you can think of is “hmmm… ah ah ah!”

Just sayin’… Life’s a bitch… It’s not easy, ya know…

I think if I turn on that vibrator one more time, it will burst into flames… Or start whining to leave it in peace… or summin’… I think I am hearing it sob in the drawer already…

OK, gotta go out before the stores close… Pick up some jumbo packages of batteries…

Keep an eye on that bedroom drawer for me? If it tries to escape from there, catch it! I need it!

“If the pleasures of love be as ten, then three times three belongs to woman. The rest belongs to man.”

Tiresias in Ovid’s Metamorphoses when Zeus and his wife Hera, who are having an argument as to which sex has a better time in bed, ask Tiresias for his opinion.

As Tiresias was both man and woman, I guess he should know who pleasure belongs to…

So Guys! Work It!!! And Fuck I’ve missed out on a hell of a lot of pleasure belonging to me in the past few years… Shiiiiiitt!!!