The Dutch Files

It’s DutchBitch… Yeah, I suddenly crept up on you there, didn’t I? And speedier than you are used to, right? Huh? It’s because I am coming to you “live” from my brandnew ADSL connection!

Yeah, I look fast, fierce and fexy, right? (fexy = a fast and fierce kinda sexy). Yeah, I thought you would agree with me… Heh

The BIL came by yesterdayafternoon and had the thing installed, up and running within about 2 hours. That included ripping out all the old stuff, drilling a hole in the livingroom wall to get rid of the friggin electricity wires that had always been running thru to the kitchen… moving the fridge that was in the way… It also included me having to remove my whole liquor collection from the top of the fridge before moving it. No worries Hon! The new bottle of vodka is still intact! I saved it just befóre it almost toppled off the fridge! I did! I risked my life and skull, but I saved it!

And what does a girl do when her fridge háppens to be shifted a few meters away from the wall… What? Well Duh! She gets the vacuumcleaner to vacuum the floor where the fridge has been and she takes the opportunity to clean the sides of the steel plated fridge that are usually unreachable. Duh!!! What else was I to do while the BIL was working his ass off in warm sticky weather drilling holes and hooking up wires? Watch the last 20 min of “Munich” that I had started watching before he came over? Well, yeah.. I could’ve done that I guess… But I’ll do that after I pre-write this Monday post…

Oh and I didn’t even tell you yet: I got a last letter from Ziggo.CUNT to confirm the cancellation of my internet cable subscription. Yeah… it was all fucked up as could be expected from Ziggo.CUNT. The letter said I had also cancelled my TV cable subscription [which I didn't for the sole reason that all other alternatives for TV are simply too expensive for me]… And it said that though my subscription was not to end until August 31 (read: you bettah pay up including August!), I was to send back the cable modem at the latest on August 1… I THINK NOT! So last Monday I called the Fuck The Customer Up Service of Ziggo.CUNT

[on hold thru costly 0900 number for about 10 min]

Ziggo.CUNT Customer Service (ZCCS): “Hello, Ziggo.CUNT Customer Service. How can I help you?”
DutchBitch: “Goodmorning. It’s DutchBitch.. again… I got the letter with confirmation of the cancellation of my internet cable subscription and there’s a few mistakes in there”
ZCCS: “Oh, can you give me your customerID. Ah…. yes. I have it here. What is wrong with it?”
DB: “Well, it says that I also cancelled my TV cable subscription but I did nothing of the sort”
ZCCS: “Well, if it says there, you must’ve”
* blank stare *
DB: “Errr… no I didn’t. If you would get the letter I wrote you can see. You can also see that shit like this, bad service, is the reason I’ve cancelled”
ZCCS: “Errr… oh yeah, you are right. You specificially stated JUST the internet subscription and not TV. I will correct that for you”
DB: “Thank you. It álso says that though the subscription runs thru August, which I will be paying for obviously, I have to hand in the modem before August 1”
ZCCS: “Yes, Ma’am. That’s our policy”
DB: “Ehm. No. That. Must. Be. A. Mistake”
ZCCS: “No, it’s our policy”
DB: “So your policy is to get the modem back on August 1 and have me pay for another month while I won’t be able to make use anymore of what I am actually paying for?”
ZCCS: “Eehm…”
DB: “OK. Hear this. There’s 2 ways we can go: either I send back the modem before August 1 and you return the August fee to me on my bankaccount, ór I pay thru August as you require and I will send back the modem áfter the subscription ends”
ZCCS: “Ehm… well… you have a point [yeah, and I think that we again heard a manager shoot himself thru the head, this time the callcenter manager]. I will have to check that for you. Just a minute [another minute I am paying for at that 0900 number]”
* Ziggo.CUNT TV add music playing, raving about their great service *
ZCCS: “Ehm… you can send back the modem later, Ma’am. That’s fine”
DB: “Can I get that in writing when you send me the corrected confirmation please, cuz I am not taking any chances with yóu guys, no offense to you personally”
ZCCS: “Ehm, no, I am afraid that will not be possible”
* crickets *
DB: “NOT be possible? So how am I supposed to prove that you just told me it is ok to send it back later?”
ZCCS: “Ehmmm. you can’t”
DB: “OK, give me your name please and your Ziggo.CUNT ID number, so I can at least say that I talked to you about it, if I get up shit creek over that friggin modem”
She proceeded to give me that information, muttered out some kind of apology about their policy and service, and then ended the conversation.

Obviously, I didn’t want to hand in the modem that quickly as I was not sure at the time when the BIL was gonna have time to install the new ADSL. He did now, so technically I COULD have the modem back to them in time… COULD… But wouldn’t it be mucho more fun to see what happens if I don’t? Yeah, I think so too…

Heh…

To be continued, I am pretty sure…!

OK, so I am in LUV with my iPod Touch! The Guy “addicted me” to it when he flashed his in my face early May, about every friggin day of that week… Jill bought me on in Florida and brought it over for me when she arrived in Dutchyland on June 21 and we (the iTouch and I) have been joined at the hip ever since…

I spend my time browsing the web apps for the iTouch and trying out all kinds of shit.

The Guy informed me that he had jailbroken his… that it was awesome and that he’d jailbreak mine as soon as he’s over here… I told him we’d first hang on to see how much he liked his jailbroken iTouch over the time to come, then when he gets his ass together with mine (wherever in the world that might be) I would check it out on his iTouch and thén I (emphasis on “I”) would decide whether I want mine jailbroken too…

Aaaaaaanyway… I have a favor to ask all of you. This iTouch enables me to be in check with my fav blogs (YOURS!) when I am away from home and not online on my laptop. Howevah… downloading some of your blogs on the iTouch takes a shitload of time and is hard to navigate. I have however found a Wordpress PlugIn that I have been using on my blog even before I had my own iTouch, to enable The Guy to read my blog easier on his, and I am loving it!

It’s a Wordpress Plugin called WP Touch and it enables iPhone and iTouch users to get the blogs downloaded in an interface especially designed for those appliances, downloading and navigating much easier and faster than the regular theme. Downloading and activating the plugin changes NOTHING in the template/theme of your blog. Better yet, you won’t notice the plug in is activated at all. At all. Just when your blog URL is tapped in on an iPhone or iTouch your blog will show up like this:

It just lets you navigate thru the posts per date and the pages/tabs a blog is using. And the good thing is that if people want to see your blog in its full glory they can click “Normal View” and see your blog in its actual theme.

So ehm… can you do me a favor and download the plugin? If you feel like it? If you think I am worth it, to you..?

Yah, so I will know who really loves me once I start surfing your blogs on my iTouch over the upcoming days, I guess… Heh…

Recently 3 Dutch cable companies, amongst others the one that I have my internetsubscription and TV subscription with, were merged into one big one, called “Ziggo”…

Ziggo Sucks!

They’ve been up and running… um.. well “running” would be taking it too far really but ya know… since a few monts and it’s been nothing but crap with them. Internet is down for hours on end due to problems… and a few weeks ago Ziggo decided they didnn’t have enough server capacity to be able to handle all accounts of the former 3 separate cable companies and that might be due to the fact that they had not researched things thoroughly enough and now needed serious maintenance… (no shit, Sherlock!)…

This now means aside from the downtime due to problems, downtime from 1 to 6 a.m. about 3 nights/week due to maintenance…

Now… I am on line at night a lot. For obvious “romantic” reasons and for work reasons at times… I can’t deal with the internet connection being out for several hours during the day and added to that it being out for 5 (FIVE!) hours 3 nights/week!!! WTF!?!?!? You might as well just shoot me and put me out of my misery! Sheesh!

So I called them the other day, on Tuesday, when my mood was excrutiatingly stressed as it was, which is thé perfect mood to call customer service of a shitty company and told them that I was taking my internet business elsewhere. The lady at the customer service asked me whether she could ask me why… Hell Yeah woman! So I told her… in no uncertain terms… and then I was done with Ziggo.cunt

That very same evening I went online and started searching for a new subscription. I found one that would also enable me to switch my phoneline there and that will consequently save me about 20 euros/month. And the internet connection is faster than the one I had (I can just hear The Guy go all “yay!” *rolling eyes*), so all in all it seemed a “plus”… and so I signed up…

WRONG!

I got the letter of confirmation and it was all wrong! I had ticked all the right boxes when subscribing on line but in this letter it all came out the wrong way. WTF!

*bleep bleep blip bleep blip bleep blip* (dialling number of customer service, ya think it’s toll free, nu uh)
CustomerServiceGuy 1: “Yes, goodafternoon, this is Customer Service of firm X. How can I help you?”
DutchBitch: “Yes hello, this is DutchBItch. I signed up for a combined internet-telephone package with you on line and I got the confirmation letter today and it is all wrong”
CSG1: “Ah, ok. Can you tell me what is wrong in there?”
DutchBitch: “Seriously? I think we’d work faster if I’d tell you what is not wrong in there. But whatever floats your boat. First of all it says Mr DutchBitch and that already annoys the shit out of me. Then it says that I am getting a new phonenumber when I specifically ticked the box to keep my current number. Also it says that I will be listed in internet and paper phone book when I specifically unticked those boxes. And to top it off, you have the all wrong internet-telephone package on there. There’s the 1.5Mb one in there and I signed up for the 4Mb one.”
CSG: “Ummm wow… ok…. Can I have your postal code and number? So I can check it for you?”
DB: “Sure, it is xxxx xx and xx”
CSG1: “Yeah… hmmmm… that’s a lot of mistakes… are you sure that you ticked all the boxes right on internet?”
DB: “I am sure”
CSG1: “Hmmm.. yeah… we’ve been having a lot of problems with the online application form lately. I think it would be easiest if we just delete this application and you start a new one”
DB: “Ehm… I am enclined to disagree with ya there. I did everything RIGHT on the internet application form. I could of course go there and do it again but chances are that you’ll be receiving a call from me within a few days when the next confirmation letter with all fucked up data comes along. I mean, somewhere between internet and confirmation something is off. It is not because of the way I filled in the application form”
CSG1: “OK true true. We might wanna do the new application by phone. I will have to ask the supervisor. Can you please wait for a few minutes?”
Sure! Of course… It’s only a 45 ct/min call, asshole
DB: “Ummm I guess, I have no choice right”
*bleep*
CSG2: “Yes this is X at Subscription Service. How can I help you?”
OMFG! Don’t you just HATE that! When without warning they just put you through to someone else and don’t inform them about your “story”!!!
DB: “Um, well I was transferred to you because the confirmation letter of my subscription application sucks ass. There’s 4 colossal mistakes in there”
-repetition of some of the earlier stuff with CSG1-
CSG2: “OK I will give you the cancellation number of this subscripton and we’ll start the new application after that. The number is yadayadaya. So what is the subscription that you actually wanted?”
DB: “It’s the one called Quick Surfing&Calling at 24,95 euro/month”
CSG2: “There is no such package available”
*blank stare*
DB: “Well, there is. I am actually LOOKING at the internet page, of your company, telling me that it exists and telling me how to subscribe”
CSG2: “Umm. Well, I guess I’ll have to take your word for it as I can’t actually see that cuz our internet connection at the Customer Service and Subscription Service is down”
* crickets *
DB: “So what you are saying is that subscribing thru internet sucks ass… it almost made me get a package I don’t want, listed in the phonebook, and have a new phonenumber, and turned me into a Mr instead of a Mrs… and now YOUR OWN internet connection is down?”
CSG2: “Yeah… Umm… it’s been out for a few hours… as have our phones… but they’ve just come back on”
DB: “Yah ok… Thanks for that cancellation number and let’s be done here… I am taking my business elsewhere”
CSG2: “But? Why? Are you sure, Ma’am”
OK if there was still a shred of a chance that I would’ve stayed with them, that disappeared with him calling me Ma’am…
DB: “Ummm yeah, I am sure. I just cancelled my subscription to move it over to your company but honestly… the colossal mistakes in combination with incompetent internet application, flippy customer service people and your OWN connection not working… That does NOTHING for me! Puh-Lease!”
* SIGH *

So I surfed the net again, for another provider and am expecting the confirmation letter from them any day now… Fingers crossed… and toes… and legs… and arms… and boobies… and willies! Cross ‘M! Do it! NOW!

OK… HE got me addicted when he kept flashing his one in my face all the time when he was over here… So I saved some money and tried to find out where I could get it cheapest and then SHE brought it over to Dutchyland for me last Tuesday…

I am hooked… totally… extremely… especially as I found a way to download movies, TVseries and podcasts and stuff (the Dutch iTunes store doesn’t provide those -just music- and the UK and US iTune stores don’t allow non-UK/US citizens to get an account, but I managed to get in there afterall, heh. Nobody keeps out Dah Dutch Bitch, pfffttt)… I’ll be spending the weekend ripping my fav CD’s to put those on my iPod Touch

I figured though that I need a name for it. I am not sure a girl name or a boy name but I am leaning towards a boy name… Oh come on! Something you so much needs a name! It deserves a name! You know… so when I go out and am rushing out the door I can say “Hang on, gotta bring [name] with me”… or “I love [name] to bits” or “[name] really does it for me” or “I was listening to [name] the other day…”

You KNOW I am right!

So umm… can I ask for your assistance in naming my iPod Touch 16G? Please?

* * * * * * * * * *

Other Friday Twirps:

• Morgy is doing a contest on her blog. Basically she wants you to make a drawing of her… I think… Go over HERE to read the full story on the contest (and prepare to scroll waaaay down for it as there’s tons of other stuff at the start of the post, lol) and ENTER! Your’s truly is going to be one of the judges. You can email me for my PayPal information… Just sayin… 
• Go over to the thumbnail in the far right sidebar to give Penelope some luvin’. It’s her last day in the pimpin quarters! Tomorrow the next one in line is up!!! Click the thumbnail and read her, she’s great!

I am off to get loads of shit done here at the office that I have had to put off all week due to other office emergencies… This is gonna be a hell of a day…

Happy Friday!

I have finished the first of the PhD theses lay out and got the money for that. I decided that this once it’s going towards a present for me. A gadget that I’ve been wanting to get for over 2 months now… since I was introduced to it by The Guy.

I’ve been dreaming off it ever since… drooling over the prospect of getting it… going everywhere and asking everyone to compare prizes for me… in Dutchyland… at the Dutchyland airport… at foreign airports and then finally, I asked Jill… and she found me a 16G in Florida that is cheaper than the 8G one is anywhere in Dutchyland!!!

I’ve been waiting desperately for the lay-out money to come in and fiercely hoping for the prizes not to rise in the mean time…

Yesterday I PayPalled the money to Jill finally and guess what? While chatting on MSN she signed off cuz she had “some stuff in the house to get done”… I had to get The Kid to bed anyway so I was fine with that. We usually hook back up later that day anyway…

Sure enough, when she came back on line an hour later… She switched on her webcam and was waving a box in my face!!! The woman had gone to Best Buy and gotten me the gadget straight away!!! And once she gets her ass to Dutchyland to live here in about 4 weeks, she will be bringing it for me!!! That will be a double party on Schiphol airport: welcoming one of my favorite bloggy friends ánd holding my gadget baby in my arms for the first time…

I owe you BIG time Jilly!!! Bløf concert and drinks afterwards-big time!!!

And what’s a nice extra: The Chief, mr Gadget King, is gonna be INSANELY jealous when I show it to him!!! Heh…

Oh sorry… you want to know what I am talking about? Errr… I am talking about this:

THE iPOD TOUCH 16G