The Dutch Files

Recently 3 Dutch cable companies, amongst others the one that I have my internetsubscription and TV subscription with, were merged into one big one, called “Ziggo”…

Ziggo Sucks!

They’ve been up and running… um.. well “running” would be taking it too far really but ya know… since a few monts and it’s been nothing but crap with them. Internet is down for hours on end due to problems… and a few weeks ago Ziggo decided they didnn’t have enough server capacity to be able to handle all accounts of the former 3 separate cable companies and that might be due to the fact that they had not researched things thoroughly enough and now needed serious maintenance… (no shit, Sherlock!)…

This now means aside from the downtime due to problems, downtime from 1 to 6 a.m. about 3 nights/week due to maintenance…

Now… I am on line at night a lot. For obvious “romantic” reasons and for work reasons at times… I can’t deal with the internet connection being out for several hours during the day and added to that it being out for 5 (FIVE!) hours 3 nights/week!!! WTF!?!?!? You might as well just shoot me and put me out of my misery! Sheesh!

So I called them the other day, on Tuesday, when my mood was excrutiatingly stressed as it was, which is thé perfect mood to call customer service of a shitty company and told them that I was taking my internet business elsewhere. The lady at the customer service asked me whether she could ask me why… Hell Yeah woman! So I told her… in no uncertain terms… and then I was done with Ziggo.cunt

That very same evening I went online and started searching for a new subscription. I found one that would also enable me to switch my phoneline there and that will consequently save me about 20 euros/month. And the internet connection is faster than the one I had (I can just hear The Guy go all “yay!” *rolling eyes*), so all in all it seemed a “plus”… and so I signed up…

WRONG!

I got the letter of confirmation and it was all wrong! I had ticked all the right boxes when subscribing on line but in this letter it all came out the wrong way. WTF!

*bleep bleep blip bleep blip bleep blip* (dialling number of customer service, ya think it’s toll free, nu uh)
CustomerServiceGuy 1: “Yes, goodafternoon, this is Customer Service of firm X. How can I help you?”
DutchBitch: “Yes hello, this is DutchBItch. I signed up for a combined internet-telephone package with you on line and I got the confirmation letter today and it is all wrong”
CSG1: “Ah, ok. Can you tell me what is wrong in there?”
DutchBitch: “Seriously? I think we’d work faster if I’d tell you what is not wrong in there. But whatever floats your boat. First of all it says Mr DutchBitch and that already annoys the shit out of me. Then it says that I am getting a new phonenumber when I specifically ticked the box to keep my current number. Also it says that I will be listed in internet and paper phone book when I specifically unticked those boxes. And to top it off, you have the all wrong internet-telephone package on there. There’s the 1.5Mb one in there and I signed up for the 4Mb one.”
CSG: “Ummm wow… ok…. Can I have your postal code and number? So I can check it for you?”
DB: “Sure, it is xxxx xx and xx”
CSG1: “Yeah… hmmmm… that’s a lot of mistakes… are you sure that you ticked all the boxes right on internet?”
DB: “I am sure”
CSG1: “Hmmm.. yeah… we’ve been having a lot of problems with the online application form lately. I think it would be easiest if we just delete this application and you start a new one”
DB: “Ehm… I am enclined to disagree with ya there. I did everything RIGHT on the internet application form. I could of course go there and do it again but chances are that you’ll be receiving a call from me within a few days when the next confirmation letter with all fucked up data comes along. I mean, somewhere between internet and confirmation something is off. It is not because of the way I filled in the application form”
CSG1: “OK true true. We might wanna do the new application by phone. I will have to ask the supervisor. Can you please wait for a few minutes?”
Sure! Of course… It’s only a 45 ct/min call, asshole
DB: “Ummm I guess, I have no choice right”
*bleep*
CSG2: “Yes this is X at Subscription Service. How can I help you?”
OMFG! Don’t you just HATE that! When without warning they just put you through to someone else and don’t inform them about your “story”!!!
DB: “Um, well I was transferred to you because the confirmation letter of my subscription application sucks ass. There’s 4 colossal mistakes in there”
-repetition of some of the earlier stuff with CSG1-
CSG2: “OK I will give you the cancellation number of this subscripton and we’ll start the new application after that. The number is yadayadaya. So what is the subscription that you actually wanted?”
DB: “It’s the one called Quick Surfing&Calling at 24,95 euro/month”
CSG2: “There is no such package available”
*blank stare*
DB: “Well, there is. I am actually LOOKING at the internet page, of your company, telling me that it exists and telling me how to subscribe”
CSG2: “Umm. Well, I guess I’ll have to take your word for it as I can’t actually see that cuz our internet connection at the Customer Service and Subscription Service is down”
* crickets *
DB: “So what you are saying is that subscribing thru internet sucks ass… it almost made me get a package I don’t want, listed in the phonebook, and have a new phonenumber, and turned me into a Mr instead of a Mrs… and now YOUR OWN internet connection is down?”
CSG2: “Yeah… Umm… it’s been out for a few hours… as have our phones… but they’ve just come back on”
DB: “Yah ok… Thanks for that cancellation number and let’s be done here… I am taking my business elsewhere”
CSG2: “But? Why? Are you sure, Ma’am”
OK if there was still a shred of a chance that I would’ve stayed with them, that disappeared with him calling me Ma’am…
DB: “Ummm yeah, I am sure. I just cancelled my subscription to move it over to your company but honestly… the colossal mistakes in combination with incompetent internet application, flippy customer service people and your OWN connection not working… That does NOTHING for me! Puh-Lease!”
* SIGH *

So I surfed the net again, for another provider and am expecting the confirmation letter from them any day now… Fingers crossed… and toes… and legs… and arms… and boobies… and willies! Cross ‘M! Do it! NOW!

OK… HE got me addicted when he kept flashing his one in my face all the time when he was over here… So I saved some money and tried to find out where I could get it cheapest and then SHE brought it over to Dutchyland for me last Tuesday…

I am hooked… totally… extremely… especially as I found a way to download movies, TVseries and podcasts and stuff (the Dutch iTunes store doesn’t provide those -just music- and the UK and US iTune stores don’t allow non-UK/US citizens to get an account, but I managed to get in there afterall, heh. Nobody keeps out Dah Dutch Bitch, pfffttt)… I’ll be spending the weekend ripping my fav CD’s to put those on my iPod Touch

I figured though that I need a name for it. I am not sure a girl name or a boy name but I am leaning towards a boy name… Oh come on! Something you so much needs a name! It deserves a name! You know… so when I go out and am rushing out the door I can say “Hang on, gotta bring [name] with me”… or “I love [name] to bits” or “[name] really does it for me” or “I was listening to [name] the other day…”

You KNOW I am right!

So umm… can I ask for your assistance in naming my iPod Touch 16G? Please?

* * * * * * * * * *

Other Friday Twirps:

• Morgy is doing a contest on her blog. Basically she wants you to make a drawing of her… I think… Go over HERE to read the full story on the contest (and prepare to scroll waaaay down for it as there’s tons of other stuff at the start of the post, lol) and ENTER! Your’s truly is going to be one of the judges. You can email me for my PayPal information… Just sayin… 
• Go over to the thumbnail in the far right sidebar to give Penelope some luvin’. It’s her last day in the pimpin quarters! Tomorrow the next one in line is up!!! Click the thumbnail and read her, she’s great!

I am off to get loads of shit done here at the office that I have had to put off all week due to other office emergencies… This is gonna be a hell of a day…

Happy Friday!

I have finished the first of the PhD theses lay out and got the money for that. I decided that this once it’s going towards a present for me. A gadget that I’ve been wanting to get for over 2 months now… since I was introduced to it by The Guy.

I’ve been dreaming off it ever since… drooling over the prospect of getting it… going everywhere and asking everyone to compare prizes for me… in Dutchyland… at the Dutchyland airport… at foreign airports and then finally, I asked Jill… and she found me a 16G in Florida that is cheaper than the 8G one is anywhere in Dutchyland!!!

I’ve been waiting desperately for the lay-out money to come in and fiercely hoping for the prizes not to rise in the mean time…

Yesterday I PayPalled the money to Jill finally and guess what? While chatting on MSN she signed off cuz she had “some stuff in the house to get done”… I had to get The Kid to bed anyway so I was fine with that. We usually hook back up later that day anyway…

Sure enough, when she came back on line an hour later… She switched on her webcam and was waving a box in my face!!! The woman had gone to Best Buy and gotten me the gadget straight away!!! And once she gets her ass to Dutchyland to live here in about 4 weeks, she will be bringing it for me!!! That will be a double party on Schiphol airport: welcoming one of my favorite bloggy friends ánd holding my gadget baby in my arms for the first time…

I owe you BIG time Jilly!!! Bløf concert and drinks afterwards-big time!!!

And what’s a nice extra: The Chief, mr Gadget King, is gonna be INSANELY jealous when I show it to him!!! Heh…

Oh sorry… you want to know what I am talking about? Errr… I am talking about this:

THE iPOD TOUCH 16G

OK… if you have tender eardrums, cover them up now… Done?

‘Key…

HOLYFUCKINGMOTHEROFGODCRAPFUCKING

CHRISTSHITCUNTCRAPGODDAMMITFUCKKKKK!!!

* sigh *

Anyone ever heard of “DEP protocol” within Windows? Yeah, like that. Now, now, now, don’t go on an all Vista rant with me now, cuz it’s in XP as well…

Seriously? The person that ever invented DEP should be fucking SHOT! SHOT SHOT SHOT Muthafucking SHOT I tell you! And I will be happy to pull the trigger for ya… NOOOOOOOOOEUEUEUH problem!

DEP is a protocol that supposedly is meant to “protect” Windows from “potentialy security hazardous actions” by applications. What it really does is fuck up and block and freeze up just those applications that you really really really need or really really really want to use…

A few weeks ago, when The Guy was here, I already had a huge friggin’ fight with my laptop trying to get Adobe Acrobat Professional to work. I need it for office purposes and also for the extra work that I do aside from my fulltime job: lay out for PhD thesises. I need it to put the layout in a final document to send to the printer’s office.

We didn’t manage to solve the problem. And lemmetellya… I am usually able to solve most of that shit myself, I couldn’t. BUT if The Guy can’t… The shit is fucked up. We surfed the internet for discussion forums on the subject and one of them had had some luck re-installing the program. I tried that the other day and it worked. However, I now need to re-install it after e.v.e.r.y friggin Windows update…

* rolling eyes *

Today however (yesterday when you all read this) I tried to get a brandnew webcam set up. My old one didn’t have a microphone and ya know… it’s nice to be able to talk to one another if you are thousands of miles apart… Right?

I managed to guide the installation thru all the DEP and Vista pitfalls (cuz there are many but I’ve figured out how to avoid those by now) and got the webcam working! Both image and sound! I was all “W00h00″ about that but ob-vi-fucking-ous-ly that was yay-ing to early…

I tried to set the webcam up on Windows Live Messenger. My old one worked on there, we had already tried that, but me typing and The Guy talking is just… nah… So I had The Kid switch on his PC, Messenger and webcam (old blurry one, only working thru XP) and I did the same. I logged on, started a videoconversation with The Kid and…

… Messenger froze, then closed down by itself, and sure enough… there it was… “DEP protocol was forced to shut down Windows Live Messenger as it was performing potentially harmful acts“… I guess Messenger was jerking off by itself and Windows was afraid to get all sprayed… or whatevah…

I’ve tried it all. Even shutting down the DEP protocol thru the Command Prompt but Windows has sure done their best securing that sucker… I wish they would pay as much attention to the user-friendliness of their fucking programs!!! Sheesh!!! Fuck THAT!!! My next laptop is gonna be an Apple! There! Suck that up!

I am by now ready to throw myself off a cliff… Right after I hunt down the fucker that invented DEP and shoot him… or her… whatever… Good thing we don’t have any cliffs over here…

Godfuckingdammit! I need a Xanax and a lie down… And a foot rub… and an all body massage…

Hoooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!! Can you just come over here please? In the flesh? Instead of all this webcam shit!?!? And does anyone have a cure for severely bloodshot eyes? Please?

I spent my coming down from a high weekend mostly vegetating on the couch and tweaking the blog, blogdoctah-ing for others, downloading new plugins, fucking around with avatars, comment preview, and downloading updates for my laptop virusscan (holy fucking shit, those programs are thé devil: I had to install that 3 times before it would actually work!)…

So if you have paid attention to this blog’s comment section you will have noticed that I have finally gotten ’round to publishing y’all avatars with the comments. But holy cow! There’s a lot of y’all that actually have no avatar, is there? As you have noticed that means that you are now a person with a bag over their head, avatar-wise. If you would like a personal avatar to appear with your comments on ány blog, go to www.gravatar.com and download your personal avatar. It dead-easy, I promise you, to register one over there and it links to the email address you use in comment forms (so be sure to register that particular email address) and it will make my comments section look so much more colorful! It will be like you are all visiting me in person… well, sorta anyway…

Also got around to dowloading Live Comment Preview, so you can see what your comment is gunna look like after you click the “Publish” button. I thought that was a nice feature too. I know many of you already had that, but this was one of the things that I still hadn’t gotten ’round to.

And I got assistance from The Guy last week in downloading WP-User Online and IP@nation plugins so I can now see your ass when you are reading or lurking around on my blog! Yep! You bettah believe it! Big DutchBitch is Watching You! Heh!

All the plugins that I use are now neatly put together in the PlugIn’s page (see tab “Plugins“). Check it out if you like and holler if you need assistance in putting any of them on your own blog. Most of you are total blog wizards, already have all the plugins and more nor need my humble assistance, I know, but if you do, no need to hesitate!

Tried to get more hang of my cpanel at the hosting service and I think I got a tad more understanding of it again than I used to have. So I am ready to host other blogs on there now, I think.

Got some fun banner work done for a few bloggy friends, like this one. I tweaking banners and themes. I couldn’t code a theme or template design from scratch, though, if my life depended on it. Hail to the people like Tattooed Momma who can do that shit.

Reloaded my Boost application for Facebook. That one is fun! You can customize your Facebook page (unfortunately only for you to see) and can receive pop up messages of anything action of your friends -customizable in the settings, thru the Boost toolbar- like when people are changing their status message, friend requests, and whatever else. Me likey! I had downloaded it before and then deactivated it, but I decided to reactivate it again.

Shame Boost doesn’t set off a “you are about to be ticketed in Parking Wars-alarm“. Still, while you were sleeping (hurray for time zones!) I did earn 2 new badges on there. Hell Yeah, I managed 100 consecutive cash ins without getting a ticket ánd parked 5 cars illegally on Ginormous Boobs street without her even noticing, earning me the “outlaw” badge. And I am pretty sure she didn’t feel any of it… seriously! I managed to get in and out without even brushing those Ginormous Boobs (and I can tell ya: it’s not easy maneuvering 5 cars past such boobs, ya know!)

So I guess you could say I pretty much had a Tech / Facebook weekend… I think I am pretty much up to date with my tech shit for now… Until I obviously get itchy again and need to change things around and add stuff and ya know… It’s like Blog PMS… I guess…