Right now, a few close male friends of mine are tied up in divorce proceedings. Proceedings that promise to be longwinding and probably not with an ending in their favor. In fact, one of them has already been at it for a long time. As it stands now they are probably gonna be bled dry by their respective soon-to-be-ex spouses… And even though I’ve been in a messy divorce myself, and I am a woman myself, that just gobsmacks me…
I’ve been wanting to say something about it for a while now. Still I’ve refrained from that for a long time. But since recently a third one was confronted with it, I just can’t shut up anymore. It sickens me to the stomach… seriously!
When I got divorced from The Ex things were very messy. We were not on great terms by the time I decided that I wanted out. A lot had happened between us and well, to say that we were on speaking terms, would be lying. Still, I am an independent woman, and I also think that a failing marriage in most cases has both spouses to blame up to a point. Also, I just wanted out. I felt that we would all, including The Kid, be better off if we would part ways and live our own lives. As I’ve told you before: I did not ask for any alimony, I didn’t want money from him. My lawyer felt I was insane, the judge awarded it to me and I refused it. I did ask for child support, because I just think he’s got responsibilities towards his child. But I just asked for the regular amount, nothing extreme. He squeemed his way out of that, but that is a totally different story.
Thing is, though The Ex has hurt me very much in the last years of our marriage and many bad things have transpired between us, I had no desire to ruin him, to bleed him dry, to get my revenge. Why? I am not a vindictive person. I mean, sure, I am not on great terms with people that have hurt me in the past, but it still doesn’t make me want to hurt them. First of all, because really I just want those people oút of my life more than anything, and second of all because I truly believe not to do upon others what you don’t want people to do to you.
I am an independent woman, I can take care of myself. Sure, it’s hard at times, but I pride myself on being independent and making it on my own, however hard that is at times. Also, I felt that I didn’t have a right to his money. He had a pretty well doing business. That he set up himself. That he started even before we got together. I never worked in that business. I had my own job.
Don’t get me wrong, if you have been in the kind of marriage in which you for instance put your spouse thru university by working your ass of for years while he was studying, or you are a stay at home Mom that has always taken care of the kids, enabling your spouse to make a career for himself, or any similar kind of marriage, I do think you are entitled to some alimony (even though there is still an element of “choice” in there as I see it). However, not the kind of alimony that will enable you to not lift a finger for the rest of your life and leave your husband at welfare-level.
I guess the soon-to-be-ex spouses of my friends are totally different. And I think they should be fucking incredibly ashamed of themselves! They are just plain vindictive bitches who are trying to bleed their soon-to-be-ex husbands dry in order to make sure they don’t have to lift a damn finger for the rest of their lives and leave their husbands in the poor house. They were not in the above mentioned kind of marriages. All have perfectly secure high paying jobs and can take care of themselves. And two of them even have a considerable inheritance in the bank. And the even worse thing? I know for a fact in these cases that actually the women were responsible in a big way for their marriages breaking up. All of them had extra marrital affairs, and left their husbands for those men.
I really seriously don’t get it. Where do they get off getting comfortable in the victim role in these divorces and where do they get off being such vindictive bitches? I really really really really really do.not.get.it! I think women like that are a fucking crying shame to our sex. I feel ashamed to belong to the same sex as they do.
And I feel equally ashamed about the fact that in our modern society apparently the judicial system(s) have not caught up with this development and still mostly consider these women the victims and are enclined to believe everything that comes out of their sorry mouths… I just have one message for you judges: Get With The Program! See thru these vindictive bitches! Sheesh!
I am a woman, I have been in a divorce like that (just the other way ’round), and I still think all of them should be fucking ashamed of themselves… Yes girls, I am talking about you. And I don’t care what the hell you think of me putting this out here. You know who you are and we are no longer friends… I can’t be friends with people who, for no justified reason, are on a quest to destroy another human being.
I really do not get you. Not even a little bit. If you want out, just get out. Take what you are entitled to and get out. Stop playing the pitiful victim. I hope in time karma will come around to bite you in the ass! Your attitude in life just infuriates me to no end… And it makes me sad that women can apparently still get away with this shit. Sometimes this world feels like the Dark Ages to me.
Yeah, so when last week the mechanic came ’round to do the annual check up of the water heater and central heating system, I had to clear out the water heater space. It’s a small space but Holy Mother of God, the amount of shit one can stuff in there amazes me every year, when I take everything out.
