Conference in bullets

The conference went off without a hitch and I had a super-time!

• My desk was set up in the hottest spot (and I mean that temperature wise) in the lobby. I was sweating my arse off from the first minute I was there *whew*
• Registration desks are a great place to meet fun new people
• The British are by far my fav “other” European people. They crack me the hell up, every time
• Clinical researchers áre funny people (they are they are they are!)
• If you come up to the registration desk and do nothing but arrogant bitching when I DID in fact arrange everything for you, including that taxi from the airport, and don’t apologize, you have wasted your credit with me right away
• No need after that to come up to me and try to chat me up, we are done, no matter how cute you are. Arrogance is a dealbreaker
• Sometimes e-Poster boards work, sometimes they don’t
• The Bar is by far the best part of conferences
• I have NO problem being at reception to pick up a HOT guest lecturer. NONE whatsoever
• Watching World Cup soccer match with the British is both a fun and nailbiting experience
• Having a UK audience for your talk in the post-World Cup match session is wayyyy better when they have won and qualified for the next round
• It’s a small small world, when you find out that one of your best girlfriend’s actually knows the HOT guest lecturer in person (even better when she tells you he’s single and do you want an introduction – HELL YES)
• Did I already say I loved The Bar, with loads of booze, relaxing and funny people?
• Funnily enough there was no problem getting everyone in the coaches/busses to the party venue on Thursday
• French professors don’t wear a tux, they feel it makes them look like a penguin (at least this one does)
• He looked good enough to bring not wearing a tux so I brought him anyway
• The conference party was a.w.e.s.o.m.e
• Very orange as well as the Dutch team was playing (and won too)
• There were so many guys on the prowl I lost track of it at some point
• I played the Black Jack table instead (yes, I know the pic is a tad blurry, I have NO idea why that is *halo*)
• Pretty sure that I felt some hands on my leg that were not mine, but I ignored them
• Hey! I was winning!
• I think I took about 4 people’s money to buy chips (Hey, I forgot to bring my own), including the French non-tuxedo professor’s
• I lost my last chip JUST before the coach/bus went back to the hotel
• Back in the hotel and The Bar was still open. What’s a girl to do? Booze and funny people again.
• There were plans to go to the beach after The Bar closed, but I was a good girl and went to bed (it was 02.30 a.m. already and I feared a trip to the beach would not get me back until breakfast)
• After wearing v high heels for 3 days, my feet said a loud and clear “Nu Uh!” on the very last day so I opted for high but not as high as usual heels
• I felt slightly “tender” at breakfast
• I was informed that one of the British guys decided against going to the beach on Thursdaynight as well, as he didn’t feel the odds (1 girl, yours truly, and 5 guys) were not that favorable for him *snort *
• The conference president forgot to thank me… yeah… that felt great…
• He made it up to me later, feeling very embarrassed, so that was good enough for me
• The secretary of the British Society is as crazy as I am and we had oodles of fun together

To go short. I had an awesome time. There were no problems. No fires to put out. The atmosphere of conference mixed with World Cup cheer, bar, fun times, good people, was undeniably great. And I think I have landed myself some new friends too.

So it was hard hard work for months but it all paid off. I love it when a plan comes together, heh…

Bitchsterdam Recap (Finally!)

Bitchsterdam was a blast. We had a great time at Hard Rock Café in Amsterdam. My head is too foggy to write a proper blog post so I will just suffice with all the things I learned over the weekend:

• Lady Penelope doesn’t care who the fuck is waiting for her at arrivals. All she cares about is getting the hell out of the non-smoking airport building a.s.a.p. (“I seem to be outside, did I walk the wrong way?” Yeah Uh Huh)
• She tries to get into the wrong side of the car here in Dutchyland just as much as I tend to in the U.K.
• If you are having Lady Penelope over, make sure you have 1 bottle of wine/day in your fridge, at LEAST
• Honking your car horn at Schiphol is THE thing to do. No matter whether anyone is able to get anywhere.
• Again some people at plane/airport came away from a horrible fate, just because Dave2 cán control himself
• Alkmaar drivers are pretty decent. They WILL let you park even though you are blocking the whole road attempting to do so.
• The cheesemarket hasn’t changed much since I was there last at 10 yrs of age.
• Dress sense does not come natural to everyone and yellow certainly doesn’t work for some women
• Getting a cruise liner into Alkmaar waters apparently is a “tight fit”
• To “some people” the little pieces of shit cheese handed out at the Kaas Museum are a little piece of heaven (clearly people like that don’t know real cheese)
• Patatjes Met and rolls with Old Amsterdam cheese are mandatory and gooooooddd
• The Kid’s bed is going squeakier and squeakier since Dave2 has been using it
• It IS possible to have 1 guy ánd 2 girls up and in the car before 10 a.m.
• Lady Penelope needs to be kept on a leash while walking through Amsterdam. If not, she is prone to kill herself walking into a car… or a tram… or a scooter… or a bike…
• It is amazing how much stuff that you say sounds completely weird taken out of context, which obviously we love to do… all the time: “OVERHEARD!“
• The way to speak UK English rather than US English is to just randomly insert words like “Literally” and “Obviously” and “Actually” into a sentence. Don’t actually worry, they literally fit in anywhere in a sentence, obviously.
• Going on a canal boat trip with Dave2 and his camera: do NOT take the window seat. Your boobs will not live to tell.
• Canal boats in Amsterdam clearly go faster than the ones in Delft.
• Having a “Juice Bar”  is the red light district, is kinda um… weird to me
• It suffices to just stand in the Hard Rock Store and be beautiful in order to land yourself a Hard Rock Café suitcase label. Well, for some people, at least (heh).
• Given a “buzzer” while waiting for a table at Hard Rock Café, all the girls -for some inexplicable reason- will be fighting over the buzzer
• Some people never fail to steer the conversation to pee and poo “number 2″
• Some burgers are just too big.
• Eating around the edges is only helpful advise if your burger still has edges (which, if it has come apart in your hands, it really doesn’t anymore)
• Watching a World Cup match between the US with a few Americans and a Brit is um… interesting…
• There should be a law against a thong showing, especially skin colored ones. Hell, there should be a law against thong on men – period!
• I am not sure what statement someone stuffing shoe in a drain is trying to make.
• If you, with a motorcycle cop next to you, put your hands in your sides and shout “WTF do YOU want!?!?“  at him, then stuff your shoe in a drain and then proceed to abuse a traffic sing pole, you WILL get wrestled to the ground, feel the cold steel of handcuffs on your wrists and the knee of a police officer in your back. Arrested!
• To Amsterdam policewomen signing a shirt of one of the participants of a stag party is clearly more important then hauling off an arrestee.
• THE word of Bitchsterdam 2: Literally!
• The landmarks Dave2 remembers from last Bitchsterdam: “I recognize this! This is where you pissed yourself laughging last time, isn’t it, DutchBitch?“
• He will then proceed to repeat that process and almost succeeding (Almost!)
• There is nothing quite as good to take on the train as home made Old Cheese Sandwhiches, right?
• Something in the house breaks down if the Bitchsterdam Triangle (Dave2, Lady Penelope, DutchBitch) is present. Last time it was the waterheater, this time the TV gave out.
• I had a GUH-REAT time!

I didn’t make many pics myself but I am sure there’s pics with the others. Some great ones are on Dave2′s blog on his recap post. Be sure to have something to scrub your cornea with afterwards tho! Proof of the skin colored thong is on there. Just sayin’

Thanks to Dave2, Lady Penelope, CanaDutch + hubbie, Pinky Pie, Alibess ánd the staff at Hard Rock Café for making Bitchsterdam-2 a fun fun night! I hope Pinky Pie and Alibess got home alright with the train traffic coming to a halt around Utrecht.

And last but not least: Happy Father’s Day to everyone!

The dirt on the weekend

Sooo, you think that Dave2 told you everything about the BitchSterDaveDamOrSummin’-weekend, now did ya? Yeah… pffff, if that’s what you want to believe, you gullible sweeties…

Here’s the Dirt on the weekend:

• Dave2 makes his flight arrive 25 minutes early so you have to hurry the fuck up to get to the airport
• He hogs all the electricity sockets with his appliances
• He also hogs the shower for hours on end… and uses all the hot water
• US embassy architects are apparently geniuses
• Dave2 will get mud on his jeans in order to photograph crocusses and then puts it in your laundry hamper with instructions on how to wash it
• Gum smacking whores are everywhere, preferably in the train seat in front of you
• Dave2 is prettttyyy sure his Pooferflargen is bigger than any Dutch guy’s
• Hi Speed is not the same as High Speed
• As soon as you cross the border of Belgium you encounter stoopid people
• Being an American it is ok to state that… repeatedly…
• If you are in the metro, it’s come to a halt, and you can see the driver pass and walk to the other side, outside of the train, it is because the train is not going any further but back to where it came from
• A European coke can never be big enough for an American
• Apparently everything is bigger in the US and that’s good, except when Dave2 wants something to be smaller
• I seriously need a sign saying “He’s American, but I am not! I’m Dutch!“
• If you accompany Dave2 eating a waffle in public, be sure that he will pull a “When Harry Met Sally” several times
• He won’t tip the waffle waiter Turns out he did, but he would’ve had plenntttyyy of reason not to, service sucked Pooferflargen
• Babies like looking at Dave2 but I can’t for the life of me figure out why
• Belgian street maps and Touris Info employees are stoopid too, they think you can walk thru buildings
• Dave2 gives you a cardiac arrest multiple times/day panicking about having lost stuff. Of course it’s never lost.
• He doesn’t like Organic Sparkling Deliciously Cola, pffff
• Made me “do” each and every Up & Down Thingy we encountered. I am worn out! Geeky Tai-Tai knows what that’s like! He’s an Up & Down Thingy Pimp!
• Dave2 leaves his iPhone on the window edge of the train and expects me to take care of it in the case he would forget about it
• He also listens in on conversations of Japanese tourists who don’t realize he can understand them
• The man snorts in disapproval when you get Diet Coke – Pfff whatev
• He bitched about Ms Kitty sitting on his suitcase (she is a watch-cat, she’s only guarding your luggage, dude)
• Also he refuses to get a credit card with a chip (says he can’t while I know that really he just won’t)
• Instantly forgets about his travel companion when seeing a blonde woman eating patatjes-met slapping the hand of her boyfriend when he tries to steal a patatje (because that is his ideal woman, pfff)
• Apparently the fastest way to get a cigaret stuffed in your poofenwafel is to wave it in Dave2′s face
• The new popular phrase is: “Keep your Pooferflargen away from my Poofenwafel!“

So, ya know, if you think spending the weekend with Dave2 is all fun and games, a walk in the park, think again!

F*cking Friday

• This morning I took The Kid to his dad’s place for Midterm Break. He came home to his dad’s house being full of crap, as they are apparently (unknown to yours truly) moving The Stepbitch in this week and finding his dad off to work and The Stepbitch in a deep deep sleep in the bedroom… That’s a nice homecoming, right? It was heartbreaking having to go to work and leaving him there…
• I looked at my wallet and the empty hollow echo in there makes me weep. It’s another week till payday and I need to fill up the gastank today. Good thing the fridge is filled with food for the week. At least I won’t starve.
• I am at the office currently, looking at the piles of work that need to be finished before the weekend, and I just want to cry…
• The Chief suddenly decided he will be out of the office this p.m. Without informing me nor the people he has meetings with beforehand. Guess who’s going to be dealing with the wrath of all of them this afternoon?
• One of my other bosses is coming in late, making all kinds of shit that has to be finished today into a total bitch job.
• I am up to my ears in work and still everyone keeps coming to my desk with stuff that is “really important and totally needs to be done today” . Listen people: I only have 1 pair of hands! That’s 2 hands with 10 fingers! And I only have one brain! ONE!

This is how I feel about today, and the better part of this week actually:

Damn this Friday. I just want to weep and bitch and slap everyone. No, correction: what I really want is for it to be 5 p.m. so I can crawl home, get in my PJ’s, find some snacks and a glass bottle of wine and ultimately fall asleep…

Oh, and of course bitch over IM with Lady Penelope about how horrible our weeks have been!

Another 6 hours to go… And it is so good to know that the upcoming week and weekends I have some fun stuff planned… That’s all that keeps me going right now..