• My desk was set up in the hottest spot (and I mean that temperature wise) in the lobby. I was sweating my arse off from the first minute I was there *whew*
• Registration desks are a great place to meet fun new people
• The British are by far my fav “other” European people. They crack me the hell up, every time
• Clinical researchers áre funny people (they are they are they are!)
• If you come up to the registration desk and do nothing but arrogant bitching when I DID in fact arrange everything for you, including that taxi from the airport, and don’t apologize, you have wasted your credit with me right away
• No need after that to come up to me and try to chat me up, we are done, no matter how cute you are. Arrogance is a dealbreaker
• Sometimes e-Poster boards work, sometimes they don’t
• The Bar is by far the best part of conferences
• I have NO problem being at reception to pick up a HOT guest lecturer. NONE whatsoever
• Watching World Cup soccer match with the British is both a fun and nailbiting experience
• Having a UK audience for your talk in the post-World Cup match session is wayyyy better when they have won and qualified for the next round
• It’s a small small world, when you find out that one of your best girlfriend’s actually knows the HOT guest lecturer in person (even better when she tells you he’s single and do you want an introduction – HELL YES)
• Did I already say I loved The Bar, with loads of booze, relaxing and funny people?
• Funnily enough there was no problem getting everyone in the coaches/busses to the party venue on Thursday
• French professors don’t wear a tux, they feel it makes them look like a penguin (at least this one does)
• He looked good enough to bring not wearing a tux so I brought him anyway
• The conference party was a.w.e.s.o.m.e
• Very orange as well as the Dutch team was playing (and won too)
• There were so many guys on the prowl I lost track of it at some point
• I played the Black Jack table instead (yes, I know the pic is a tad blurry, I have NO idea why that is *halo*)
• Pretty sure that I felt some hands on my leg that were not mine, but I ignored them
• Hey! I was winning!
• I think I took about 4 people’s money to buy chips (Hey, I forgot to bring my own), including the French non-tuxedo professor’s
• I lost my last chip JUST before the coach/bus went back to the hotel
• Back in the hotel and The Bar was still open. What’s a girl to do? Booze and funny people again.
• There were plans to go to the beach after The Bar closed, but I was a good girl and went to bed (it was 02.30 a.m. already and I feared a trip to the beach would not get me back until breakfast)
• After wearing v high heels for 3 days, my feet said a loud and clear “Nu Uh!” on the very last day so I opted for high but not as high as usual heels
• I felt slightly “tender” at breakfast
• I was informed that one of the British guys decided against going to the beach on Thursdaynight as well, as he didn’t feel the odds (1 girl, yours truly, and 5 guys) were not that favorable for him *snort *
• The conference president forgot to thank me… yeah… that felt great…
• He made it up to me later, feeling very embarrassed, so that was good enough for me
• The secretary of the British Society is as crazy as I am and we had oodles of fun together

To go short. I had an awesome time. There were no problems. No fires to put out. The atmosphere of conference mixed with World Cup cheer, bar, fun times, good people, was undeniably great. And I think I have landed myself some new friends too.

So it was hard hard work for months but it all paid off. I love it when a plan comes together, heh…

• Lady Penelope doesn’t care who the fuck is waiting for her at arrivals. All she cares about is getting the hell out of the non-smoking airport building a.s.a.p. (“I seem to be outside, did I walk the wrong way?” Yeah Uh Huh)
• She tries to get into the wrong side of the car here in Dutchyland just as much as I tend to in the U.K.
• If you are having Lady Penelope over, make sure you have 1 bottle of wine/day in your fridge, at LEAST
• Honking your car horn at Schiphol is THE thing to do. No matter whether anyone is able to get anywhere.
• Again some people at plane/airport came away from a horrible fate, just because Dave2 cán control himself
• Alkmaar drivers are pretty decent. They WILL let you park even though you are blocking the whole road attempting to do so.
• The cheesemarket hasn’t changed much since I was there last at 10 yrs of age.
• Dress sense does not come natural to everyone and yellow certainly doesn’t work for some women
• Getting a cruise liner into Alkmaar waters apparently is a “tight fit”
• To “some people” the little pieces of shit cheese handed out at the Kaas Museum are a little piece of heaven (clearly people like that don’t know real cheese)
• Patatjes Met and rolls with Old Amsterdam cheese are mandatory and gooooooddd
• The Kid’s bed is going squeakier and squeakier since Dave2 has been using it
• It IS possible to have 1 guy ánd 2 girls up and in the car before 10 a.m.
• Lady Penelope needs to be kept on a leash while walking through Amsterdam. If not, she is prone to kill herself walking into a car… or a tram… or a scooter… or a bike…
• It is amazing how much stuff that you say sounds completely weird taken out of context, which obviously we love to do… all the time: “OVERHEARD!“
• The way to speak UK English rather than US English is to just randomly insert words like “Literally” and “Obviously” and “Actually” into a sentence. Don’t actually worry, they literally fit in anywhere in a sentence, obviously.
• Going on a canal boat trip with Dave2 and his camera: do NOT take the window seat. Your boobs will not live to tell.
• Canal boats in Amsterdam clearly go faster than the ones in Delft.
• Having a “Juice Bar”  is the red light district, is kinda um… weird to me
• It suffices to just stand in the Hard Rock Store and be beautiful in order to land yourself a Hard Rock Café suitcase label. Well, for some people, at least (heh).
• Given a “buzzer” while waiting for a table at Hard Rock Café, all the girls -for some inexplicable reason- will be fighting over the buzzer
• Some people never fail to steer the conversation to pee and poo “number 2″
• Some burgers are just too big.
• Eating around the edges is only helpful advise if your burger still has edges (which, if it has come apart in your hands, it really doesn’t anymore)
• Watching a World Cup match between the US with a few Americans and a Brit is um… interesting…
• There should be a law against a thong showing, especially skin colored ones. Hell, there should be a law against thong on men – period!
• I am not sure what statement someone stuffing shoe in a drain is trying to make.
• If you, with a motorcycle cop next to you, put your hands in your sides and shout “WTF do YOU want!?!?“  at him, then stuff your shoe in a drain and then proceed to abuse a traffic sing pole, you WILL get wrestled to the ground, feel the cold steel of handcuffs on your wrists and the knee of a police officer in your back. Arrested!
• To Amsterdam policewomen signing a shirt of one of the participants of a stag party is clearly more important then hauling off an arrestee.
• THE word of Bitchsterdam 2: Literally!
• The landmarks Dave2 remembers from last Bitchsterdam: “I recognize this! This is where you pissed yourself laughging last time, isn’t it, DutchBitch?“
• He will then proceed to repeat that process and almost succeeding (Almost!)
• There is nothing quite as good to take on the train as home made Old Cheese Sandwhiches, right?
• Something in the house breaks down if the Bitchsterdam Triangle (Dave2, Lady Penelope, DutchBitch) is present. Last time it was the waterheater, this time the TV gave out.
• I had a GUH-REAT time!

I didn’t make many pics myself but I am sure there’s pics with the others. Some great ones are on Dave2′s blog on his recap post. Be sure to have something to scrub your cornea with afterwards tho! Proof of the skin colored thong is on there. Just sayin’

Thanks to Dave2, Lady Penelope, CanaDutch + hubbie, Pinky Pie, Alibess ánd the staff at Hard Rock Café for making Bitchsterdam-2 a fun fun night! I hope Pinky Pie and Alibess got home alright with the train traffic coming to a halt around Utrecht.

And last but not least: Happy Father’s Day to everyone!

Here’s the Dirt on the weekend:

• Dave2 makes his flight arrive 25 minutes early so you have to hurry the fuck up to get to the airport
• He hogs all the electricity sockets with his appliances
• He also hogs the shower for hours on end… and uses all the hot water
• US embassy architects are apparently geniuses
• Dave2 will get mud on his jeans in order to photograph crocusses and then puts it in your laundry hamper with instructions on how to wash it
• Gum smacking whores are everywhere, preferably in the train seat in front of you
• Dave2 is prettttyyy sure his Pooferflargen is bigger than any Dutch guy’s
• Hi Speed is not the same as High Speed
• As soon as you cross the border of Belgium you encounter stoopid people
• Being an American it is ok to state that… repeatedly…
• If you are in the metro, it’s come to a halt, and you can see the driver pass and walk to the other side, outside of the train, it is because the train is not going any further but back to where it came from
• A European coke can never be big enough for an American
• Apparently everything is bigger in the US and that’s good, except when Dave2 wants something to be smaller
• I seriously need a sign saying “He’s American, but I am not! I’m Dutch!“
• If you accompany Dave2 eating a waffle in public, be sure that he will pull a “When Harry Met Sally” several times
• He won’t tip the waffle waiter Turns out he did, but he would’ve had plenntttyyy of reason not to, service sucked Pooferflargen
• Babies like looking at Dave2 but I can’t for the life of me figure out why
• Belgian street maps and Touris Info employees are stoopid too, they think you can walk thru buildings
• Dave2 gives you a cardiac arrest multiple times/day panicking about having lost stuff. Of course it’s never lost.
• He doesn’t like Organic Sparkling Deliciously Cola, pffff
• Made me “do” each and every Up & Down Thingy we encountered. I am worn out! Geeky Tai-Tai knows what that’s like! He’s an Up & Down Thingy Pimp!
• Dave2 leaves his iPhone on the window edge of the train and expects me to take care of it in the case he would forget about it
• He also listens in on conversations of Japanese tourists who don’t realize he can understand them
• The man snorts in disapproval when you get Diet Coke – Pfff whatev
• He bitched about Ms Kitty sitting on his suitcase (she is a watch-cat, she’s only guarding your luggage, dude)
• Also he refuses to get a credit card with a chip (says he can’t while I know that really he just won’t)
• Instantly forgets about his travel companion when seeing a blonde woman eating patatjes-met slapping the hand of her boyfriend when he tries to steal a patatje (because that is his ideal woman, pfff)
• Apparently the fastest way to get a cigaret stuffed in your poofenwafel is to wave it in Dave2′s face
• The new popular phrase is: “Keep your Pooferflargen away from my Poofenwafel!“

So, ya know, if you think spending the weekend with Dave2 is all fun and games, a walk in the park, think again!

This is how I feel about today, and the better part of this week actually:

Damn this Friday. I just want to weep and bitch and slap everyone. No, correction: what I really want is for it to be 5 p.m. so I can crawl home, get in my PJ’s, find some snacks and a glass bottle of wine and ultimately fall asleep…

Oh, and of course bitch over IM with Lady Penelope about how horrible our weeks have been!

Another 6 hours to go… And it is so good to know that the upcoming week and weekends I have some fun stuff planned… That’s all that keeps me going right now..

• Office week was vile! I just have no words to describe it. And it’s going to get worse before it gets better
• I have been trying to find out where I can put in a request for a day to have 48 hrs but I have been unsuccesful so far
• Two of my packages that I sent off a few weeks ago arrived this week and they made two of the people dearest to me happy… I think :)
• The Kid has decided, for now, to go back to his snuggly cuddly self.
• I wonder how long it will take till his Puberty side will be back, we’ll see
• The Kid brought home an awesome report card, so proud!
• My Mom is having a hard time right now and I so feel for her
• Tonight we celebrate The Sis’ birthday (which is really on Monday)
• I am off baking 2 apple pie’s for her birthday celebration
• and: 35 days left until I get my arse in a plane again for a wonderful trip! Yay!

Have a great weekend, y’all, I will be back on Monday

What can I say? I was home for a week, cos of Fall Break. I really don’t know what the “Break” word in that means, cos Shhiit! I don’t feel like I had a break. I feel more like I broke! Maybe that’s why they call it that. Anyway, technically The Kid had Fall Break and his Mom was home to keep an eye on him and the rest of her life just moved on just like that whole Fall Break thing wasn’t there…

So here’s what I did, well, some of it, the really boring stuff I skipped (yeah, can you tell how exciting my life is?), heh…

• Took care of my ill son
• Caught the bug myself
• Had fucked up intestins all week
• Washed my hair
• Went to the office to pick up some work to work from home
• Forgot to take my memory stick out of my office PC
• Went back to the office to get my memory stick
• Got The Kid to start a typing course on line
• Had The Mom over for dinner and a movie
• It was decided we’d watch “Wallace & Gromit – The Curse of the Were-Rabbit“
• Assisted The Kid in writing his bookreport, due Nov 4
• Shoot.Me.Now. When did kids become such fucking wise-asses?
• The Kid  (watching me write this post): “Since when did parents become such wise-asses?”
• Had our first ever visit at the orthodontist
• That “kaching!” sound? That would be his cash register
• 2nd typing lesson with The Kid
• Had The Chief’s son over for a playdate
• He ransacks the house of The Chief every day, incredibly
• He’s good as gold when he’s over here
• The kids played PC games, DS games, Wii games
• I tried to get rid of the office backlog from home
• 3rd typing lesson with The Kid
• Went to the DIY store with The BIL
• He secured the one unprotected window in my house with a safetybar
• He made Ms Kitty a windowsill in The Kid’s room
• Worked from home some more
• Watched “The Fifth Element“
• Got rid of the childish rug in The Kid’s room and got him a new one
• 4th typing lesson with The Kid
• Went to visit a girlfriend who just had a baby
• Had to borrow money from her to put in the parking meter, damn!
• I had money! Just no coins! Sheesh!
• Ran into the greatest hairstyling-shop owner evah (mine) in the street at parking meter
• Seeing as we were in The Hague went for dinner and a movie with The Kid
• We went to see UP! in 3D
• I am never watching any movie in 3D anymore, I just don’t care for it
• Not enough to have these 3D goggles on all the time
• You know, the ones that half the city has had on already
• The ones they don’t clean and hand out to you with the TINIEST wet wipe I have EVER seen
• Was during movie previews informed by The Kid that he HAS to see “This is It” and I am taking him *sigh*
• It FELT like one of those “ask your Dad” moments, but I refrained from it
• Worked more and more and more
• Played some Wordscraper, and Haunted peeps on FB
• Tried to ignore the triple Mount Everest of laundry and ironing that was accumulating
• Didn’t leave the house all day on Friday
• 5th typing lesson with The Kid
• Washed my hair again
• Ignored the laundry some more
• Worked with The Kid on his bookreport some more (cos  you guys didn’t shoot me first time)
• Finally started the laundry and ironing
• While dressed waaaaayyy too warm (hey, it was cold when I had to go outside)
• I contemplated changing but I was afraid I’d chuck ironing all together
• Had The Chief’s son back over for another playdate including sleepover
• More laundry and ironing
• Watched “Insomnia” while ironing
• Sweating like a pig behind the ironing board
• After hours of work, laundry and ironing finally done
• I guess that’s what happens if you leave it for weeks
• Got a pizza for the boys and had some Cup A Soup myself
• Had a hot showah to get the sweat off me
• Crashed in bed at about 11.30 p.m.
• Pretty sure the boys didn’t shut up and go to sleep till after midnight
• Changed back from Daylight Savings Time
• Changed all the clocks in the house. Damn! I have too many clocks.
• Worked all day on Sunday to get foundation work (2nd job) done
• Watched “The Italian Job” with the boys
• Prepared for my annual review this p.m.
• Watched “Wolverine” and “X-men” with The Kid
• Well, I watched with one eye, did office work with the other..
• Tried to read a chapter in my book every day
• Failed miserably at that
• Am SOOOO fucking tired, I think I need a do-over on that Fall break thing

Dang! Those are a lot of bullets. Guess that’s what you get from taking a week off blogging…

So, that’s basically it. So whadday’alllookingat? Is that all I get from you after a week of Blog Silence? Don’t I even get a “welcome back, bitch!”…? Pfffff…

I Still Love Y’All! Now…

• 07.30 a.m. getting up for our Efteling theme park day
• 08.00 a.m. dressed, having breakfast
• 08.30 a.m. brushing teeth and getting stuff together
• 08.45 a.m. on our way for 1.5 hr drive
• 09.45 a.m. only 15 mins to go and first signs of traffic jam showing
• 10.00 a.m. yup, smackdab in traffic jam, wtf?
• 10.30 a.m. still in traffic jam, going inch/15 mins it seems
• 11.00 a.m. getting completetely pissed off at assholes using gas station exit to bypass traffic jam
• 11.15 a.m. in argument with one of above mentioned assholes I refuse to let into the line
• 11.30 a.m. watching car of asshole I was in argument with broken down at roadside (ha!)
• 11.45 a.m. finally crept onto exit to themepark
• 12.00 p.m. still inching on to themepark parking lot
• 12.15 p.m. finally parked and on our way in!
• 12.30 – 5.30 p.m. had great time at themeparc that was excruciatingly busy but fun
• 05.40 p.m. On our way home, hoping for a less eventful drive (silly me)
• 5.55 p.m. 1st brush with death due to asshole that felt he had to pass me twice as fast as he is supposed to at the emergency lane at highway on my right and almost hitting me
• 6.30 p.m. 2nd brush with death due to asshole that was an inch away from hitting me, also going about twice the speed allowed and slalom-ing his way thru the lanes on highway
• 6.45 p.m. 3rd brush with death due to asshole that decided at last moment that he was NOT taking the exit he was on
• 7.15 p.m. Home!
• 7.45 p.m. Fed and cuddled Ms Kitty, having dinner with The Kid
• 8.30 p.m. Crashed on the couch, ex.haus.ted

I was EX.HAUS.TED mostly because of the driving and the about 5-6 heart attacks I suffered while doing so, all due to other drivers. Mostly, by the looks of it, young guys who think it is pretty cool to drive fast (and live short).

How exhausted? THIS exhausted. So exhausted that The Kid managed to snap several pics of me crashed on the couch. And that is saying something for someone who hates having her picture taken and is trained to jump up and hide at every camera-related sound…

I guess Ms Kitty had an exhausting day as well…

• Yesterday was Friday 13th. I know, I know! You THINK it was a regular Friday July 24, but trust me, it was a 13th
• First I found out that I forgot to take some meds in the past few days, so great… sigh… fuck up #1
• Then The Kid stated, when I was walking ’round the car “Mom, careful you’ll…” yeah and then it was too late and I actually stepped in a big fat warm steamy dog turd for the first time in ummm.. 10 years… fuck up #2
• Then I cooked a fab Spaghetti Bolognese and after finishing it dropped a batch of the sauce on my carpet in the hallway… that would be my OFF WHITE carpet… fuck up #3
• There is a huge pile of laundry waiting for me… Why do Mom’s never really have a complete break from everything? * pout *
• I watched some serious car crash twittering going on over the last few days. Someone who actually thought we were all stupid and we would believe he was actually 3 people. Yeah, DUH -> Not stupid!
• I gained some great new real life Twitter friends though, while watching the car crash twittering take place, and I pissed myself laughing with all of them!
• I’ve noticed that sales people have a hard time with decisive clients: “Can I just get a brochure?” – “I can make a quotation for you” – “No thanks, I first just want a brochure, do you have one?“- “we do, but a quotation only takes 30 secs” – “Though I doubt it takes 30 secs, I believe you that it won’t take long but I don’t want a quotation, I JUST want a brochure” – “Well but with a quotation..” – pushing sales guy aside “Is this the brochure? It is? Thanks, I’ll take this. Bye!“
• I am starting to miss my DVD player. It is at The BIL’s who is trying to fix it (he already fixed the Wii!) after the thunderstorm damage. I never thought I would start to miss it, but I do.
• I figured if The BIL can’t fix it I’ll replace it with a DVD-R so I can record stuff from TV again. Haven’t been able to do that for years.
• This just in: Arrogance is not attractive. The other day I was talking to some guy who told me that he’s “dangerously charming and women have a hard time controlling themselves around him” (yes, he actually said that about himself). Dude, I sat next to you for over an hour and neither me nor any of the other 14 or so women around suffered from that. You might want to reassess the situation here.
• That’s it… I know… not much… and it sucked… but that’s all I have for you… Maybe tomorrow will be better… Maybe not…

• It’s really time to do a new Dutch-A-Pimpin’ post but I don’t have time today so BlondeFabulous is staying up there for another week
• This is the last weekend The Kid is with his dad till End of July. Just another 2 weeks and summer break is about to start!
• I háve made pics for the June installment of Project Bulbfield and it will be up within the next few days, promise
• I also have a post floating around in my head where I tell you why I want to poke my eyes out at the office at times, coming soon too
• Life is going to be a rollercoaster for the next 2 weeks or so, getting everything done at the office before everyone is off for summer
• In 2 more weeks there’s also the conference in Boston that I was supposed to go to, and then I didn’t get to go after all
• Everyone standing at my desk, esp The Chief, discussing all the fun stuff they’ll be doing over there is pissing me off
• Yeah, I do realize I am all over the place right now… Focus! … Nah, won’t work today
• I bought myself a new top, of the kind that I really really like, and that does NOT suit me! When will I ever learn?
• Weather is weird in Dutchyland right now. Temps are warm, but ok. But what’s worse, very humid… But I’ll live.
• Insurance company of woman that drove into my car is being a pain. They bettah pay damages!
• I am wearing my flip flops again today, yeah, bite me!
• My feet are peeling! JUST the feet! WTF is that all about?
• I like these guys, I stole them of ZenBitch‘s blog:
• Umm…
• Umm…
• I’ve got nothing more for you…

I am off to run some errands and then go see one of my girlfriends I have not seen or spoken to for a while. Found out yesterday that her boyfriend chucked her and her 2 kids out and she’s now residing in a trailer park/campsite until she’s found a place to live. Time to get my butt over there for some moral support and serious catching up on life’s affairs! Cos that’s what friends are for, right? At least, I think so. Back late tonight I think, as it is (for Dutch standards) quite a drive.

* DutchySmooch * !!! Love ya! See ya tomorrow! Happy Saturday!

• Work has been getting increasingly better to deal with, as a result of the secretary we hired in Dec getting into the swing of things.
• The Kid is doing very well in school, in basketball, at home, and seems very happy. And The Kid happy = Mummy happy.
• With a little luck I will be an aunty again of a beautiful little girl (the DutchBitch family only makes for beautiful girls, there’s no other kind with us) within a few weeks, maybe even before the weekend.
• There’s fun stuff lined up, and in line to be lined up, that I am really excited and totally psyched about.
• I feel beautiful, sexy, energetic, wonderful, sunny, and just really incredibly great!

That all makes for a happy happy happy DutchBitch!

However, apparently there is some people in my life that don’t think I deserve that, and are bitching at me for having fun. And whom feel the constant need to point out to me that I have “responsibilities” and I am not “twenty anymore”… WTF? Me? NOT being responsible? Fuck you all. I think the past years, being a single Mom, scraping the pieces of my life back together, while in particular you (isn’t is funny how it is always those people who feel the need to judge you) were oh so busy with your own lives, has shown that I can take care of The Kid and myself perfectly well, in any kind of circumstances.

To those people in my life I only have one thing to say, or show rather…

You can all bloody well kiss my ass! Or Cartman’s, whichever floats your boat…

I am happy and I intend to enjoy that to the max! Puh! And to be able to say this on, come to think of it, the 7th anniversary of the day I told The Ex I wanted a divorce, is even better!

I will be off now, to get The Kid to school, clean my appartment, run some errands, do grocery shopping, pick up The Kid and then off to The Sis’ place to babysit the Lill Niece so The Sis and The BIL can go to the medical center to see if there’s gonna be a baby this week :) fulfill my responsibilities of today.

Now Happy Dance! Yay!